Friends with Benefits

I totally agree. People think that this way of taking out your sexual frustrations and urges is perverse. Personally, its the same as masturbation (which EVERYONE does whether they admit it or not)

As someone who has been in a "friends with benefits" type relationship, (although I never called it that) I would have to say that I think that they can work out and be benificial in some ways. I also think that honesty is extremely important, as is the setting of some basic ground rules for the relationship. Another key part of these types of relationships is being honest with yourself abut why you are in the relationship, and doing an occasional reassessment (that sounds so clinical...) to make sure that you and your friend both see the relationship going in the same direction. It seems to me that problems usually arise when one person becomes more attached or emotionally involved than the other.
Finally, I just wanted to say that I do not see "friends with benefits" relationships as a substitute for masturbation. Otherwise, why not just masturbate? To be honest, I wouldn't want another person viewing me (an entire human being with thoughts, feelings, etc.) as the equivalent of their hand, if only because most people don't make sure that their hand is having a pleasurable experience while they are masturbating.

I think "friends w/benefits" is a completely normal way to be able to satisfy needs that we all have. Unfortunately, I have to agree with Kathryn when the only problem with it is if someone does get more attached. That is why you need to keep communication open between you and your "friend" so if either person needs a break or has become interested in someone else you can make a clean break, no feelings hurt. However, as many of my friends have experienced, it usually doesn't seem to turn out that way. Is there a better way to tell if someone's starting to fall for their "friend" without waiting for them to tell you? And how would you cut off your physical relationship if you suspected they were falling for you or if you were falling for them? Just a couple of things to consider...

I have to agree with the two people ahead of me... Friends with benefits is a good thing, if you know you can handle it. True that it satisfies your needs, but it also helps academically. As weird as that sounds, it is true. Helps you relax when you are stressed from studying, and allows you to concentrate more when you are finished.
The only problem that I can find with friends with benefits is that you can't go back to being friends. Once you sleep with someone, their is a wall that is always there. It's like something happened, but you just don't want to acknowledge that it happened in the future when you stop sleeping with each other.
Before you even think of starting a "friends with benefits," just make sure that you are mentally capable of handling that type of relationship. Or should I say lack of it. But if you decide to start one good luck and have fun. Cause really that's what they are for.

I like the mutual masturbation. Guy fingering girl, girl giving hand job to guy. No one gets hurt, both get off, no risks.

I believe that the sexual part of the "freinds with benefits takes priortiy over the friendship itself. I have just recently ended a "friends with benefits" relationship. I unfortunetly was the one that had more feelings for that person but there were games played as in I had a date friday and my partner had a "date" sat. I got the feeling that I was being lied to about time spending together and decided to take a break for a week, that person has not called in several days after the break and Im left wondering. does anybody have experience with this?

I'm currently in one of these relationships. Except we hadn't seen eachother in over 2 years. I wonder, should I go over the ground rules or does she actually have feelings for me? Here's the kicker, she's also my ex girlfriend.

In my experience, these types of relationships can be just as, if not more confusing than emotional relationships.

I had a friend with benefits for several months until my friend went back to her old boyfriend. That was good because it made me move on.

At the time we never had full intercourse but we used to make out a lot and pretty soon I started touching her breasts while we kissed. That added a lot of pashion to making out but the best was fingering her because it drove us both insane.
She never gave handjobs because she thought that was too slutty. I still sometimes wish we would of had sex though but now its too late and she probably wouldnt of

i have a question...

what are the basic rules [as in how far should you go] for friends with benefits?

My ex and I broke up because we did not love each other or care in the way we thought we should. Several weeks later we sleep together...and decide to reconfigure the relationship as "friends with benefits." now he's met someone and it is not clear how either they or we should progress. i believe we are on equal grounds as far as emotional attachment goes, but this still complicates things. neither of us seems to want to give up the sex prematurely in case things don't work out with the other girl, but we also do not want to be unfair to her. at this moment i see the friends with benefits as a nice, safe way of expressing our sexuality.

These relationships can get very confusing and more complicated than traditional bf gf relationships. Someone always ends up getting attached which is what happened to me. I started a friends with benefits relationship during the summer with a girl who i've been friends with for years. We ended up dating a few months later but she couldn't express her attachment to me and quickly broke it off. We didn't speak for a month and recently we started being friends with benefits again. The sex is more satisfying now than ever but again the question of attachment looms over the relationship which gets annoying. While it can be fun, FWB leads to jealousy and prevents you from meeting people who actually care about you.

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i would like to try this kind of relationship. Actually it started last night during a casual text. hmm.. I'm still confused.

but can anyone tell me if this kind of "relationship" is more on a positive side or negative side?

Is this "thing" okay???

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Have you and your partner masturbated each other, foreplay to having wet erotic sex? It's so pleasing to both of you! We often desire others to join us!

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A FWB situation has to be understood by both parties involved. It's a very tricky thing b/c as women we are programmed to care about people. I am single & love being so b/c it's my choice. I don't want to be tied down & keep that in my mind. However, it's very hard to turn off feelings. I just kinda ended up in a FWB situation recently & it's great, but the guys is a friend I've known for nearly 2 years. It'll never turn into more b/c he's hung up on a married woman, which makes it safer for me b/c he won't get emotionally attached to me. But feelings just happen, the key is to be aware of them & remind yourself that this is basically a matter of convenience to be able to have sex w/someone you trust & that will not hurt you. But like I said, FWB can be complicated b/c of biological programming in woman (& I can only speak from that p.o.v. - but I would guess some guys may have problems as well).....on the upside though - it can make for some great fun & relaxation!

A FWB situation has to be understood by both parties involved. It's a very tricky thing b/c as women we are programmed to care about people. I am single & love being so b/c it's my choice. I don't want to be tied down & keep that in my mind. However, it's very hard to turn off feelings. I just kinda ended up in a FWB situation recently & it's great, but the guys is a friend I've known for nearly 2 years. It'll never turn into more b/c he's hung up on a married woman, which makes it safer for me b/c he won't get emotionally attached to me. But feelings just happen, the key is to be aware of them & remind yourself that this is basically a matter of convenience to be able to have sex w/someone you trust & that will not hurt you. But like I said, FWB can be complicated b/c of biological programming in woman (& I can only speak from that p.o.v. - but I would guess some guys may have problems as well).....on the upside though - it can make for some great fun & relaxation!

yes it was nice reading each person thoughts. since i start reading, i start to understand how it works and what is expected, or not.
yes i am a married individual, but my husband is away. i meet this person and the first time i saw him, i fancied him greatly... but as time goesw by i became emotionally and sexually attached to him. so yes i am the one that is mostly falling for him, bu t i know he is not for me, because of his own opionion , about what he is looking for in a relationship.
i used to call him mostly everyday, and i feel so upset when he do not want to talk to me, or when he wants to rushed me off the phone.
So now i have learnt not to call him too much, but i cannot help not wanting to be with me sexualy, he makes me feellllllllll sooooooooooo good, and i think that what makes me so crazy about him.

I've been involved with my friend with benefits for nearly 3 yrs. now. I think we are starting to get more and more attached to each other though. In his profession he has plenty of opportunies to meet other women but says he doesn't want to be with anyone else. It's easy to get confused in this type of relationship so I don't kid myself about anything he says. I know he likes that I give him my undivided attention once a week. Listen to all his complaints about his job and never judge him. I know he likes that I'm far from being clingy. I text or call him once a week to see how he is doing and if there's anything I can do for him. I think that's why we've been "friends" for so long. He works long hours and has a son to care for and really no time for a "normal" relationship. And I dont want the hassle of a steady bf so this works out real good for the two of us.

I never had a friend with benfits so if there is any girl on here from north tx area who wants to be a friends with benfits mail me milkshakecam@yahoo.com..i am open minded and could try any thing once!

ooh! my! my advice to anyone who hasn't done it is never try.this shit is adictive and it can make someone do some crazy shit.Believe me at one point somebody is gonna fall in love and it won't be good.For a woman u ll feel stupid, used and worthless and especially if the other person is committed lol! mh! mh!! noooooo don't do it, it's not worth it

As a mother I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone would want this kind of relationship, taking chances with pregnancy, AIDS, STD's,.. is it really worth risking your life for, there are to many things that can and will ruin your life from this, it will haunt you, I guarantee it. It's pure stupidness and very irresponsible. There are other ways of dealing with "feelings/urges" without destroying friendships and yourselves. I was young once, I was stupid too, I regret "everything" and it does haunt me to this very day.

In further thinking on this back in my day it didn't have this "labeled name", it was love'em and leave'em, a one night stand, girls were called horrible names, slut, whore,...and you may as well be considered a prostitute w/o pay, because that is "exactly" what this is - supposedly no emotional attachment. This is degrading yourself when and where there is NO NEED, not that I would approve even if there was one, there are other jobs available.

FWBs ARE HORRIBLE BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS AND EVENTUALLY ONE PERSON WILL GET ATTACHED. THAT PERSON WILL BE HURT. THE OTHER PERSON WILL FEEL HORRIBLE FOR HURTING YOU AND LEAVING YOU. THEY ARE JUST NOT WORTH BOTHERING. IF THERE IS A THIRD PARTY(SPOUSE, FAMILY MEMBERS, GIRL/BOY FRIENDS) THINK HOW HURT THEY WILL BE TO FIND OUT ABOUT YOU BEING IN A FWBs.

FWBs ARE HORRIBLE BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS AND EVENTUALLY ONE PERSON WILL GET ATTACHED. THAT PERSON WILL BE HURT. THE OTHER PERSON WILL FEEL HORRIBLE FOR HURTING YOU AND LEAVING YOU. THEY ARE JUST NOT WORTH BOTHERING. IF THERE IS A THIRD PARTY(SPOUSE, FAMILY MEMBERS, GIRL/BOY FRIENDS) THINK HOW HURT THEY WILL BE TO FIND OUT ABOUT YOU BEING IN A FWBs.

what goes around ALWAYS comes around. you will have to get hurt a few times before you know what you did to that/those people. Someone in a FWBs is always being more taken advantage of than the other. they are the ones to get attached and hurt.

My friend went through FWB with a player. He thought she was 'hot' and not 'cute' so he told her that he only wanted her as a FWB. I thought it was quite sad that my friend sank that low, and went so far with him.
Now ive started to talk to this boy as well. Everytime we talk, he makes a hint we should hang out together. Im frightened he wants the same thing he wanted from my friend since he admitted he would try something on me. Its fun to talk to him though. Im ready for many things, and prepared, but i dont want to feel used, hurt or worthless... Plus is there always physical and emotional attraction in the start of such a relashionship?
If anyone has any tips or advice, please give it, because i am lost..

I just started a friends with benifits relationship. I looking forward to the adventure. I don't want a relationship right now because i'm just now single after a very long relationship. I'm exploring what is out there in the world and what I want. I think this is good because now I won't be making poor choices of men because i'm thinking with my hormones and not my brain. So for now FWB is perfect in my life. He has some of his own commitments so he is also cool with this. We are keeping this a secret. Everyone knows we are friends but they don't know about the benefits and that is how we want to keep it. We are up front and honest about what we want. We have agreed if either one wants out to tell the other and we will just remain friends. I really hope that is possible because the only down side to this whole thing is the possibility of loosing a great friend for many years.

I find fwb relationships empty and painful...they are not truly anything more than a way for a person to get what they want and walk away scott free to persue their dreams or passions without any guilt while having fun at the same time...seems a bit selfish to me...they pretty much will fry you in divorce court for this same action only i realize your married but committed none the less... the only difference here is no commitment...and lets face it why be responsible for our actions right???? its another way of just fing around...no commitment no ties no loyalties...and if they do find someone they are lol attracted to whats to say they will become loyal and true....nothing, once a cheater always a cheater......just a new fad for online dating so they can check out as many dates to get the one they want.....and of course why not have fun while they are at it....this way no one gets hurt right??? but i do agree what goes around usually comes around.....and maybe just maybe the player gets played and yes im a bit bitter been there done that and it does hurt especially when you have no idea your in a fwb till you break up...if your in an adult relationship i think the biggest thing of all is to be an ADULT and be HONEST and upfront...leave the games for high schoolers and stop playing with peoples hearts....and emotions...and make sure what you want is what the other person is ok with....thats and fwb...mutual respect and understanding

I'm in this type of relationship currently, too. I actually like it the way it is. I am free to do as I please and still see him from time to time.. although, he was jealous when I went out on a date recently. However, if either of us were to sleep with someone else we are supposed to tell the other one. Works fine for now.

To the concerned mother from above: Just because you are friends with benefits with someone doesn't mean that you aren't using protection. Im in a FWB relationship and we use condoms plus I'm on birth control. So how is that stupid?

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FWB the emotions involved there, eventual one of you will fall in love what then? I am falling for my FWB, he makes whole he makes feel like a woman. he satisfies me sexually, We both involved with other people but we just cant seem to get our hands off each other. Everytime i see him I just have these butterflies in my tummy. I think i am falling in love with the guy.

I am in this type of relationship - however, I am 12 years older than he is, and I have fallen in love. I know its time to end the relationship, but can't bring myself to do that. We see each other every second weekend and he stays for three or four days. Trust me, someone always gets hurt in the relationship

In a FWB situation, someone will always get hurt. It's not worth it.

Interesting to get different views - hard to see this as sustainable however. Communication and honesty, as in all relationships are vital. It's hard enough to do when you're in a 'proper' relationship and have more time/reason to focus on other person. Would say something like, different strokes, different folks but that might be a little cheap. Good luck to anyone but rememeber keep talking and keep safe.

Is there ever such a thing as "No Strings Attached?" Can a friendship between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that just an idealistic concept? Use your head to consider wisely what may be lost if you enter into a Friends with Benefits arrangement.

I think friends with benefits is a must. Unless you find love you need friends with benefits. It's healthy human nature to satisfy our animal instincts. As long as the two friends are really adult and not childish in any way it can work. Communication is the key to friends with benefits

friends with benefits is never a good idea. I truly believe that the term "friends" is misused when it deals with sexual relationships with that person. and always someone gets hurt in the end. just thought i put in my two cents

Whatever the rights or wrongs of a FWB relationship,
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so informative, thanks to tell us.

Hi, Thanks for your post.
In my opinion, sexual relationship should not go hand in hand with only the animalistic part of our self. It involves love and trust.
If people are too busy to find and attract the right person in their lives, then they should not look to hurt other people by keeping them as friends only for their sexual fulfilment.
Thanks again for your post.

I think that friends with benefits can actually be a good thing.

Take a student for example, everyone has sexual needs but a student for example wont want the extra stress and emotions that come with relationships.

Even if the relationship is good then it will still be distracting from such things as exams, coursework etc. I'm not saying that a friends with benefits is not distracting as I'm sure it actually does come with some emotional attachment.

If you could truly have a sexual partner who simply is a friend with benefits and holds no other emotional attachment with you then I believe this is only a good thing - provided both parties feel this way.

Anyway, I'm sure lots of loving couples started by being friends with benefits and then realised they wanted to try a relationship together.

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Friends with benefits is exactly that. Friends-with-benefits. The key to making that situation work is to make sure both of you are on the same page and to have open communication. Because more times then not, someone get's too "emotionally" attached and wants from the friends with benefits agreement.

I think that, as we live in a modern society, these types of relationships have become more and more accepted by the mainstream. However, where they do seem to cause a potential problem is in the smaller number of cases where these types of arrangements are made by married people. Whether with the other spouse's consent or not, they at best undermine the marriage, and at worst could be a short cut to the divorce court. Nice post.

Yeah its a tricky one. I personally believe that you are better having a friend with benefits than going out into town and having a different 'friend' every weekend. You gotta keep your love log down for the person you do finally marry. No guy wants to hear that he is number 32.

It’s exhausting to find educated people on this topic, however you sound like you already know what you’re speaking about! Thanks

No way, that is a complete sham but I see what you mean by it and that i hope you were just going for the overly dramatic.

i don't really get it, why would people have sex if they don't love or just even little feelings for each other? they should at least be interested with each other.

Do not really comprehend it though, but I am grateful for trying to explain it. Recognize the value of you shedding light on this matter. keep up your work.

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I have honestly never read such overwhelmingly good content like this. I agree with your points and your ideas. This info is really great. Thanks. I will shurely do a link to http://blog.lib.umn.edu/john7697/friendsbenefits/015884.html on my site.

You have some insightful thoughts there. I agree that friends with benefits are good for us at certain times in our lives: like post-break up when we're feeling down or when we're too busy for relationships. But there's nothing that can compare to being with someone you love.

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Son, I am disappoint

This is bad and you should feel bad

Always have to post a comment, I cant help it! Thanks, Sarah

Why are we here?

I disagree, this really isn't all that great, I've got no idea why so many people think this is good.

Haters gonna hate...

Problem?

Glad to see that this site works well on my iPhone now, everything I want to do is functional. Thanks for keeping it up to date!

After reading some of the comments on this blog, I'd have to say I'm in agreement with the majority.

I disagree, this really isn't all that great, I've got no idea why so many people think this is good.

Why is everyone saying this is good? It's boring and really not that exciting or inciteful, there's a million other people saying exactly the same thing.

Glad to see that this site works well on my iPhone now, everything I want to do is functional. Thanks for keeping it up to date!

After reading some of the comments on this blog, I'd have to say I'm in agreement with the majority.

Why is everyone saying this is good? It's boring and really not that exciting or inciteful, there's a million other people saying exactly the same thing.

Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I had written and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any points for beginner blog writers? I'd certainly appreciate it.

P.S. - why are you reading?

Trollface

Oh really? Wow I didnt know that! Thanks for sharing.

; )!!!

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read? Many thanks!

Y U NO BACKLINK?

Gracias!

Oh really? Wow I didnt know that! Thanks for sharing.

This is bad and you should feel bad

This story is going to explore that issue in some detail.

Glad to see that this site works well on my iPhone now, everything I want to do is functional. Thanks for keeping it up to date!

WOW, there's a LOT of comments here, what the hell?

No puedo esperar a leer más de su blog.

WOW, there's a LOT of comments here, what the hell?

WOW, there's a LOT of comments here, what the hell?

Hey, I was refered to your web site by my cousin. I thought this blog was excellent. You are excellent! Thank you, very much.

Fascinating blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your design. Kudos.

I disagree, this really isn't all that great, I've got no idea why so many people think this is good.

WOW, there's a LOT of comments here, what the hell?

Haters gonna hate...

WOW, there's a LOT of comments here, what the hell?

Howdy! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects? Thanks a lot!

I would be interested in more content like this from you. I think a lot like you on this subject and your perspective is interesting. Will there be more soon?

Hello, I think that I visited this blog before so I am back to enjoy the great reading. I am attempting to find good info to improve my blog! I hope its ok to borrow a few of your wonderful ideas! You really have a gift for writing. Thank you.

Right now it appears like BlogEngine is the top blogging platform available right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog? Kudos!

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Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you're working with? I'm looking to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a hard time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

Hello, I'm really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a custom theme or did you customize it yourself ? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.. Thanks!.

I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme? Fantastic work! Kudos!

Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?

Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading? I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There's a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Cheers

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.

Hey, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, awesome blog! Thank you!

Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Cheers.

Hello, It's like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book on it or something. I think that you could utilize some pictures to drive the message home a bit more, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. An excellent read. I will definitely be back. Thank You.

you got that right...
nothing like "friends with benefits"...

thanks for sharing.
john
-----------

http://ehowtoattractwomen.org/

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.

ok nice comment

Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.

Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

making time and real effort to make a quality article. Cool!

Keep up the wonderful work, I read few content on this internet site and I conceive that your blog is really interesting and has circles of wonderful information.

You have mentioned very interesting points! ps decent web site.

You can strongly disapprove of anything without getting too worked up over it.

Adoreiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..todas as dicas mas a saia ficou horrorosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....nao gostei..

Attend constantly to prayers and to the middle prayer and stand up truly obedient to Allah. (The Cow 2.238)

Das ist Ehrfurcht poste für eine lange Zeit hab 'ich jemals gelesen Studie. Kann ich Ihre Kontaktdaten bitte? Ich habe somthing zu fragen . Merci.

News of course is Man Bites Dog, and not the other way around. Ive noticed a tendency over the years of the National Media when covering stories to often overplay, for ratings purposes, the harsher aspects of a story. Talking to the locals, the true everyday citizens, residents, workers and lower line officials, who number in the hundreds, sometimes the thousands its true, often gives a more realistic rendition of a community, than the national media seems to pick up from the experts and big-wigs.

Very interesting topic , thanks for posting . "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." by Herbert Spencer.

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I think all long term relations eventually end up becoming friends with benefits type of relations ships as ardor cools and passion weakens. My girlfriend of 6 years is such a situation and although we still enjoy our sex lives, there are times when I know she is acting out of friendship in satisfying my needs rather than her own.

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This is such a great post, and was thinking much the same myself. Another great update.