Within “friends with benefits”, there are a few basic rules that should be followed. These rules can prevent many of the problems that opponents cite as contentions to sexual promiscuity. The first and easiest rule is to always practice safe sex. This will prevent the problems and complications of STI’s, AIDS, and pregnancy. Another important idea that is used by many people in “friends with benefits” relationships is to keep emotional ties low. By doing this, the chance of hurting feelings is lowered. The last and very important rule is to remain honest with everyone involved. This can resolve many of the crises that arise in these situations.
Posted by john7697 at February 14, 2005 1:42 PMWhat do you mean by emotional ties? Can you be more discribted? I am trying the friends with benifits for the first time and I like my friend I dont want to lose him as a friend. He has done it before but not me. What are the dos and donts in a friends with benifits relationship?
Posted by: Mary at February 23, 2007 3:01 AMI'm in my first friends with benefits situation. It has been happening for about a month. Now it seems we call each other more just to talk. We still enjoy the benefits whenever possible but it seems the friendship is growing closer. I don't want to get serious with anyone right now but I don't want to loose my benefits either.
Posted by: Gail at October 10, 2007 3:32 PMBe careful with this... my best friend of 10 years.. brokeup with her BF of 8, my other best friend... we started hooking up... i can't stop but falling in love with her.. she doesn't want me... be careful, its hard to stop... its hard to control
Posted by: Chris at December 3, 2007 1:55 PMI feel the friends with benefits makes you become hard and distant to people long term. Yes, the sex is enjoyable but sex without the romantic aspect makes the sex emotionionally unfufilling. Just my oppinion. I don't like the feeling I'm left with in the end. I guess Im picking the wrong friends to have benefits with. I guess I do need more than just sex. . .
Posted by: Tracie at December 12, 2007 9:40 AMI feel the friends with benefits makes you become hard and distant to people long term. Yes, the sex is enjoyable but sex without the romantic aspect makes the sex emotionionally unfufilling. Just my oppinion. I don't like the feeling I'm left with in the end. I guess Im picking the wrong friends to have benefits with. I guess I do need more than just sex. . .
Posted by: Tracie at December 12, 2007 9:40 AMThis is just plain STUPID! you go out with someone but have to control and not get attached, if it's that hard, that alone is just as stressful if not more than "fighting the urges". DON'T DO IT! Wait for that special someone, you will be very happy you did-I promise.
Posted by: amom at December 29, 2007 1:26 AMIm nineteen, unexperienced and i have just left a friends with benefits relationship after only a month. Sex was great bc I taught him how to do everything(hes 24) and he'll thank me for it later. I was wanting a boyfriend and kept my hopes up and he tried to make it work eventhough he knew he wanted me just for sex. I opened up and got attached. He wouldnt take me out bc he just wanted sex and didnt want to spend money. He finally started taking me out but to stupid cafes, movies @ his place, walking driving. The next step was to meet his two best friends of 7 years and he promised. He never wanted me there in the first place and he forgot about me as soon as he got there. I messed up his head my telling him i might be pregnant...revenge but also karma. Im hurt bc I got taken more advantage of and I got attached to a nice person I no longer will see. KNOW THE SIGNS BEFORE U GET HURT AND USING PEOPLE FOR SEX IS THE CRUELEST THING IN THE WORLD. YOU KNOW ITS NOT GOING TO WORK SO JUST TSEP AWAY BEFORE U GET HURT OR HURT SOMEONE ELSE.
Posted by: Anonymous at February 2, 2008 7:49 PMIm responding to the comment above. Dont ever open yourself up to anybody 100%. Keep 25% for yourself, things like mental issues(depression, suicide, bisexuality,etc.) to safe guard yourself. You get tooclose and it will be used to hurt you. Dont go sleeping with someone after a few hours or months. Your mind and your heart are the two most precious things you have and dont ever let anyone anywhere near it, lie to it or play with it. Everybody now is fake and just want drinks/sex on friday nights. If you feel used, get away for good; dont bother with hopes. taking people out to nice places(the Guggenheim) doesnt excuse it or make you feel better. TO GET OVER IT, JUST PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD THAT THERE WAS NOTHING LOST AND SOME PEOPLE JUST WONT BE IN YOUR LIFE.
Posted by: Anonymous at February 2, 2008 8:01 PMFriends with benefits are horrible because shes 17 and pregnant and im 24. I dont even know her but look at where we are. The sex wasnt even that great to compensate for the mess were in now!
Posted by: Anonymous at February 3, 2008 10:03 AMFriends with Benefits are nice to have.
The problem i have is with my ex-boyfriend.My first FWB also my first boyfriend.We dated for a while.Didn't work out had no feeling! Then.Now,we just hook up.Its been happening for a while.I'm very attracted to him.Actually, more like having feelings for him now.I don't know what to do.Should I tell him.I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I am 18 and I have been in a serious relationship (semi long-distance) for two years. He's great and I love him, but there's something missing. Lately, I have been fooling around with someone I go to school with. it's mostly dirty texts and just playing around. We've never had sex. But he also has a girlfriend, so I always come second. He has to pencil me in after her curfew. He says he really wants to get with me, but only as a secret. I like him and I like the excitement and fun, but I'm so sick of this. I really don't know what to do. I like the guy on the side, but I'm so sick of being the substitute lover. And I can't imagine leaving my man because I know I'll never be as loved or as comfortable.
Posted by: Natalie at April 11, 2008 1:24 PMi just started my first fwb thing and i love it. we dont have any feelings for eachother at all. we're just friends. we're just physically attracted to eachother. we screw around, smoke a cigarette, then its all over
it doesnt hurt emotionally
its fun
and im a girl so yeah :)
Posted by: fwblover at April 14, 2008 7:40 PMive had a fwb thing going on with someone for about 6 months now. it all started when he was dating another girl. and we hooked up pretty constantly. until the end of july when i hooked up with someone else and he got mad. now we are both and college and see each other when we can. i used to think we could be more but with the distance we have become more of just the benefits than the friends.
Posted by: rea at December 14, 2008 9:04 PMI also have a friend with benefits I want him to be more than that but appearantly he doesnt I love him and the only way I can be with him is sex this suks so much cause Idont know when I stared all these feelings that seem not to go anywhere It sound pretty stupid but I love him and cant get over him even thought it gives me headache very ofen.
Posted by: julisaaa at February 3, 2009 7:06 PMI am currently in a FWB relationship and it's been going on for 3 months. I work with the guy and I am starting to have feelings for this guy. Now I'm trying to figure out what to say to break it off before it really hurts and he leaves me or something. I know if he respects me then it will all work out. We can either have a real relationship or remain friends. I know i have to tell him my feelings in order to find out if there's potential between us or if he's just a creep.
Posted by: Crystal at February 3, 2009 9:30 PM