October 21, 2005
Revision groups for second essay
I thought the revision groups were very helpful this week. Looking at my other group members papers, it gave me some ideas for my own. I thought Mike P had a really good idea for an introduction, starting the essay almost like a fictional story, and then claiming that it may be a reality for some students at Lincoln or similar schools. I didn't get much criticism about my paper, other than that I should link more of my statistics to real life situations, and how certain things played out at my school compared to Lincoln. I think the positive feedback will help me write a better second draft for Tuesday. I hope that we will receive responses from Lincoln in time to include their comments and thoughts into the final draft. I tried really hard to avoid generalizations about the students, because no one really knows each unique situation of each student. Nonetheless, I think that it safe to make some assumptions for why some statistics are the way they are. I will look forward to next week's class and how everyone's second drafts turn out.
Posted by kerr0072 at October 21, 2005 3:26 PM