Bethany Khan's Pensieve

My Mother

2008-05-06T16:54:28Z

For this assignment, I picked my mother as the subject of my documentary. Basically, I picked out a few key stories from her life so that I could tell the viewer a little bit more about my mom that one wouldn’t necessarily know just by looking at her. I choose to film her in front of a wall that is located in the main entrance of our house which is filled with family pictures that we take every year; our family is very important to my mom, and I wanted my placement of her to reflect that. Also, since she is instrumental in getting us all together every holiday to take a picture that she then sends out to our family and friends, it seemed only fitting that she be filmed in front of the wall of yearly Christmas greeting card pictures. I wanted my mom to the subject of this documentary short because she doesn’t usually get to talk about herself all that often, she is usually recounting achievements of her kids or taking care of us, so that is why I wanted to see what she had to say if I just put a camera in front of her and started asking her questions.

]]> As I reflect on my mom’s story, I conclude that I don’t see stories like hers being told in Hollywood or Bollywood (Indian’s Hollywood) very much. Yes, the once-in-a-while immigrant story, the domestic abuse story, the sexual abuse story, or the mother story, but if I were my mom, I wouldn’t really find representation of my story and myself in the media. Stories like moms are present in feminist literature and the like, but I really don’t think that style of writing is accessible to my mother, much like others like her. That is one of the reasons I struggle with overly-academic work is that I don’t think it is accessible to all walks of life, but I do recognize that in order for writers such as bell hooks to be accepted by their scholarly peers that they must produce overly-academic work, most of which, is supposedly is for the “common people.�?
Thinking back to all the various theories and praxis that I learned in the beginning of this Media Making class, I look at my justification or turning the camera on my mom and what it means to me to be the person behind the camera. Actually, now that I think of it, most of the time media is being made via camera or videotape, I am usually the using the tool. Mostly, because I’m “techy,�? but ever since I was a little girl, I have preferred to be the active media maker in my family. My mom? Not so much. When it came to my parents, my dad was always videotaping and adding himself into every scene by adding comments that were picked up by the microphone. I would like to think of myself as an invested media maker, I empathize with my mother’s pain and her happiness as we create new bonds that strengthen our relationship.
In terms of my personal reframing of my mother’s life and her everyday reality, I publically reveal her moments of pain, as well as the times of her greatest happiness. Michelle Citron, in her book, Home Movies and Other Necessary Fictions, she wrote about selective filming and how the “sunny side of life is preserved (pg. 19),�? so only our happiest memories are recorded, but our most painful are not captured by a photograph or video because no one want to remember them. My mother has been through so much pain and sadness, but flipping through hundreds of pictures old and new, there is not a picture present in the albums that signify a sad or painful event. I wanted to represent my mom’s life accurately in my documentary short, yes, she has had many joyful events in her life – but she has also had plenty of sorrowful times as well. By reframing her life and including significant events that has caused her lot of pain, I hope that I made it clear that her stories of sadness are noteworthy and that they deserve to be heard.
Another aspect of my mother’s life that I (still) really struggle with is her relationship with my father. Looking through all the pictures of my parents together, one for each anniversary and special event, it was easy to imagine what an outsider would see. Someone who didn’t know my family wouldn’t see past the beautiful smiling faces to see the nights where my father hit my mom, the many times when he threatened to kill her, when he got so angry that my little brothers and sisters hid in the closets in our room for fear that he would come after us in his rage. They wouldn’t see his repeated attempts of attending anger management, apologizing to our family and my mom, swearing each time that he was sorry and he didn’t mean to cause the irreparable damage that he had done. Citron wrote about photographs being, “spontaneous and directed, authentic and constructed, documentary and fiction (pg. 19).�?Looking at my parents pictures I see the love and good times in every picture, but I don’t see the second-half of that reality – I don’t see all times that she ran out of the house with barely the clothes on her back in fear of her life, I don’t see little children that adored their father crying for their mother pleading with him not to hit her. Maybe it’s better that the latter memories aren’t available for tangible review, but I know it’s imprinted in my mother’s mind, as well as mine; it is this paradox that is troublesome to me – I assume other families have their secrets as well, but what does this mean? I don’t really know.
This project has been a good reminder of all the sacrifices my mother has made so I could be where I am right now. At first I was frustrated because she didn’t talk about social justice as much, and she didn’t have much to say in terms of feminism and activism, but I realized, that’s not her reality, she hasn’t had the privilege to learn the justice-lingo or read up on theories, she has been living to survive and ensure that I can comfortably live.
I believe that my mother telling parts of her life’s story to me as achieved several things: First, it has brought us closer together because she shared things that she had never told me before. Second, she passed on years of experience and wisdom that I will use as continued inspiration to fight for social justice. Third, by sharing her pain she is able to heal however slowly. Joe Lambert in his book, Digital Storytelling: Capturing Lives, Creating Community, wrote that, “We all have stories like these. We really must share them. Or we cannot heal (pg. 41).�? This therapeutic style of storytelling is so effective in the healing process – which is how I justify recording my mother’s tears for this project and mine for that matter that fell as I interviewed this amazing woman and when I was editing this painful piece.
Personally, I pushed myself a lot in making this piece. I asked questions that I know where part of that gray area that family doesn't share with people NOT family. Even when editing this piece it was a challenge for me to stay true

Melinda and the City

2008-04-22T14:57:34Z

New York -> My digital story

2008-03-11T19:45:15Z

Reflection on the Oscars

2008-02-26T06:56:01Z

As I watched the all the people file up and receive their little golden man for their various achievements I was struck at the differences of this year’s 80th Oscars compared to previous years.

First of all, I have never seen this many international films in the spotlight, this was most notable when several accepters burst into their native tongue to utter their thank you speeches. I loved it! Even some of the other people that I watched the Oscars with commented on the diversity of the actors and actresses there at the show.

Yes, there was a lot of international representation in the house, but where, oh where, were the people of color and women?

]]> This query popped into my head as I watched category after category that announced White men as nominees and winners. I thought of my Feminist Media Making classes readings, and how I am being slowly introduced to the achievements of women that were there all along, just not visible behind the achievements of their (white) male counterparts.

I was especially interested when the nominees for Best Director were announced, and surprise, surprise, they were all men…and all White! I found myself thinking back to my class readings as I struggled to recall a director who was a women. I know one of my favorite directors, Mira Nair, was nominated for an Oscar for her movie Salaam Bombay! But as for women who have won an Oscar for Best Director, I could think of none. I checked Wikipedia.org to see if any woman has been nominated for this award and have won it…answer? None. Not one single woman has been nominated and not one single man of color has been nominated. Yikes! 80 years of the Oscar and still nothing for “minorities.�?

I recently have decided that I would like to shoot a documentary one day, and it would be awesome if it made it to the Oscars, but there is a long way to go until I get there. I couldn’t help but remember when Cuba Gooding Jr., Halle Berry and Denzel Washington won their Oscars and how happy I was for them. Even to this day, Berry’s acceptance speech brings tears to my eyes, it took 74 years for a woman of color to win an Oscar for the Best Actress and who knows how long it will take for a woman (of color) to be nominated for and win an Oscar for Best Director.

Indian. Woman. Storyteller.

2008-02-24T09:47:16Z

“Home…in past tense�? by Bix Gabriel

When I was growing up Hyderabad had a bad reputation. People who were from there or had some cultural attributes were not as good as other Indians. No one ever came out and said that, it was just something that I knew. I came to college not really giving that a second thought. I didn’t think people from Hyderabad were bad, I just didn’t challenge the notion that they weren’t any good. All I knew was that I loved Hyderabadi Biryani.

This piece resonated with me because I loved seeing pictures of India and learning more about the South Indian culture. Being half-Indian myself, I love anything to do with India…no matter what region. I found her story to be rather engaging and I thought her quote about her house back in Hyderabad being "a musum about growing up," and her before and after photos of Hyderabad to be poignant reminders of capitalism and globalization.

I thought it was so cool that Bix Gabriel was exploring her roots and not forgetting where she came from. I loved seeing an Indian woman who was filmmaker in the spotlight – definitely don’t get enough of that. This piece was an excellent reminder of stereotypes that learned growing up and that I personally still have work to be a more socially just person.

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“The Talking Tree�? by Surya Govender

I loved the Indian music! The sitar was a perfect touch to connecting old memories of Indians to present day. Surya Govender resonated with me because she talked about her father who didn’t talk about his history – I can relate. Much of my racial ethnicity was hidden from me growing up due to my father’s explicit wish that his children would grow up without an accent and as Americans.

Govender’s story was educational to me because I didn’t know that South Asians/Indians were so involved with the apartheid in South Africa. That was not made known to me as I was growing up, I don’t know why, but I was raised as a Christian girl, hold the race. Obviously everyone else saw that I was a young woman of color, but when they asked what I was, I replied, “American.�? I could see where Govender was coming from, feeling the lack of connection to her history and also saddened at the circumstances that came about so that her father could and would not share his history with her.

I really liked her quote and I believe that she is correct in saying that, “the stories that matter the most are the hardest to tell.�?

2/19

2008-02-19T04:54:49Z

This week in class we are focusing on photography and as I struggle to think of a famous photographer who was a woman, I can only think of one name. Annie Leibovitz. Her work has always stood out to me. I remember coming across her name when I was researching John Lennon for a project, and I saw that she was (perhaps) one of the last photographers to take his picture before he was murdered. More recently, I was pleased to see that Leibovitz was hired by Walt Disney to shoot some fabulous scenes of real-life celebrities as imaginary characters – I loved it!

]]> Anyway, back to relating Leibovitz to class. (“Rachel, I tried!�?) Lucy Lippard wrote in “Reframings: New American Feminist Photographies�? that women are not as recognized as men for their work and achievements, especially in terms of photography. This is still true, I think. I am currently a junior in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication, and I believe that there are more men focusing on photojournalism than women, although there are more women in J-school, more men are getting jobs at the Star Tribune, the Pioneer Press, the MN Daily and the Wake as a photojournalist. It could be that because only men are applying for these jobs, but who knows? Even though the women are in the minority as photojournalists, I think the “winds, they are a changing.�? More women are choosing to be behind the camera (digital or not) and shooting their memories into being.

I have two thoughts on more women being behind the camera. 1) We are actively making our history and we are being in-control of the scene. 2) We are hiding behind the camera…? I keep coming across people (read: My dad and some of my male peers) who think that being a journalist is the “easy way out�? and I find that unless you are within the J-school, you aren’t going to get the same reaction as a biomedical something or other gets when s/he states their major as you do.

Are more women becoming journalists because of some socially constructed tendency to be more passive with our ideas? Am I? What would be the opposite to being a journalist…congresswoman? Why the lack of respect from people not in the field? It annoys me when some people think that only people in the School of Architecture think that they get stressed out and no one else does…are you for real? Just because I can handle deadlines and work right up until the minute something is due, and not freak out about it does not mean that I am not stressed - it just means that I am a journalist. You know who you are, and guess what? You are just a huge tool.

Reframings: New American Feminist Photographies

2008-02-18T08:58:40Z

Reframings: New American Feminist Photographies by Lucy Lippard

Lucy Lippard’s goal is that she is trying to walk the reader through the process of figuring out what “feminist art�? is, especially in terms of a landscape. She talks about the terrain and the lack of critical attention it gets from a majority of feminist analysts. She said that usually the focus is on the home, workplace, urban and suburban environments, but not so much on the terrain. She makes the point that the terrain has been possibly gendered into a masculine symbol of freedom that many women feel excluded from.

]]> Key terms and feminist theory from Chapter 1:

Lippard said that “most artists have been led into the political from personal concerns (pg. 39),�? Lippard is essentially referencing a popular social movement slogan, “the personal is political,�? and applying it in terms to art and making art.

She also talked about the idea of a “feminist landscape.�? Lippard discusses the characteristics of what makes a landscape feminist. Is it because it is where the “culture and nature meet�?? Is it because it is a landscape is seen “as the body of a woman�?? She recognizes that in photography, landscape shooting has been dominated by men, or rather the most famous pieces that are recognized have been shot by men, since women have been shooting those scenes – just not getting recognized for it.

Lippard references J.B. Jackson “In an amnesiac late 20th-century society, there is a necessity for ruins.�? She does so because she wants the reader to remember history. Photography does that so well, because one is able to catch a memory so vividly, and in doing so, one can hold onto that memory forever.

She also discussed a “politically contested space,�? and how a beautiful photograph is able to draw the audience into it without any warning.

Lippard talked about power and how it pertains to feminist photography. She said that “…the balance of power, is the key to looking at almost every “natural�? landscape, and power is always a feminist issue.�? Feminist photographers, especially women photographers who shoot landscapes are able to capture their power, and by doing so, liberating themselves (because they are in-control).

Lippard also wrote about the “housewife syndrome�? and how in Nevada, women who lived downwind from a nuclear testing site, were diagnosed as neurotic because they displayed symptoms of severe radiation sickness, or having “housewife syndrome.�?

My reflection on the collection:

After I have reflected on the text I have the following thoughts: I loved Lippard’s reference to Jackson’s idea of the “necessity for ruins.�? The idea of the 20th century having some sort of amnesia that has caused up to forget the pain and roots of our history was wonderfully poignant. Photography is really an awesome way to capture scenes of real life and freeze them forever. I have always been drawn to photography, and I connect to the idea that making these images is really making history.

We read this text collectively because we learn ideas better when we learn ideas and then have to “teach�? other about them. By reading the text collectively, we were saving each other time and energy, but also learning basic concepts and key ideas that the author originally wanted us share with us.

2/12

2008-02-13T04:54:20Z

I meant to post about this earlier, but I just remembered this example…so I will blog about it now. Over winter break I went to New York and visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Modern Art. In the MET I literally walked around dozens of galleries looking for female artists.

]]> Everywhere I went in the musem there were naked women drawn by men, and women in various poses, but none actually done by women. I remembered my days as a first year student here at the U of M when I took a Intro to Art History class. My TA had talked about the Guerrilla Girls and how they protested the MET’s lack of actual diversity. I remembered that the Guerilla Girls came to the UofM, but I couldn’t go, and I still regret it!

So, when we discussed the Guerrilla Girls and the MET in class two weeks ago, I immediately thought of my winter break experience. I was walking in the museum, specifically through 19th century Impressionists gallery, and I thought about the Guerrilla Girls. I went over to a staff member and asked if her if she knew where the female artists were and if they were in a special section or something. She replied, “oh, I don’t know..there is one or two down that way…I don’t remember their names…but I can’t think of any really.�? I was surprised. I thought, shouldn’t a staff member be trained and know at least some female artists that are in the MET?

The MoMA was a different story, not as many female artists were represented as the male artists, but there were definitely some notable ones. I remember seeing some Frida Kahlo and almost an entire section of Georgia O’Keefe’s pieces, which were really cool.

Our discussion in class two weeks ago got me to think about how I’ve always seen women represented in “high art�? versus popular art. When I was little I would stroll around museums looking at the naked women and thought, gosh, they are curvy and look really different than women do now…maybe it’s because they have no clothes on? My dad used to say that actresses in the 60s had more meat on their bones, and that they were “real women.�? That was something I always thought was weird; if they were real women then, are they not real women now? Why are women now so thin?

Anyway, I have digressed, which means I’m out, or as Kanye said, “this is how we do.�?

This is my most favorite painting in the entire world. I have just included this picture in this post solely because of that.

My Media Log

2008-02-12T08:47:10Z

*Feb. 9th
4pm: Watched “Jersey Girl�? on Netflix (instant viewing)
6pm: Watched CNN cable news and read the MN Daily during dinner
9pm: Watched random news shows on TV and then caught the last 45 minutes or so of Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp version).

*Feb. 10th
4pm: Watched “Glory�? on Netflix (instant viewing)
6pm: Read the MN Daily during dinner
7-10:30pm: The Grammys on CBS

*Feb. 11th
1am: Watched “California Suite�? on Netflix (instant viewing)
10am: Started “Bus Stop�? on Netflix
11am: Kare 11 “Discovering MN�? during breakfast
12p: Read/skimmed through the Pioneer Press and the MN Daily
9pm: Read online news at CNN.com and watched NBC Nightly News
11:30pm: Continued “Bus Stop�? on Netflix
2am: Finished "Bus Stop"

]]> I don’t really watch TV for fun…I don’t have the time, but I have watched a lot of movies these past three days - mostly, because it was the weekend and mostly because I have something going on the background while I am updating my schedule. I am always watching a movie at any given point though. I watch something as a get dressed in the morning, as a clean my room after class, as I get ready for bed, and just before going to sleep. I don’t actually own a TV, but on some days (like during the Grammys) I wish I had one. Other times, I’m glad…I would be so distracted!

I love watching movies alone or with friends at a theater, but recently theater tickets have become somewhat expensive, so I only go every couple of weeks when there is a movie I really want to see. I use my laptop as the main vehicle of over ¾ of my media consumption - I watch DVDs that I get from Netflix, friends or the Sanford Hall front desk. I have included print media in my media log because I think I usually am more of a print consumer, also I mostly see advertisements and the like in magazines, newspaper, and other miscellaneous printings. I sometimes upload podcasts to my iPod, but not usually, and since my iPod just stopped working (it happens annually…this is my third iPod have gotten from Apple as a replacement!) I won’t be listening to any music until I go to the Mall of America this weekend.

I am person who consciously chooses to consume media. I have to set aside time to read the paper or watch the online Nightly News show. I am always short on time, so I choose to consume media that is flexible and best fits my time schedule. I like media that can be paused, thrown into my backpack, or left up on my laptop for me to look at later when I get back from class, work or meetings.

My thoughts on Judy Chicago...

2008-02-05T08:47:37Z

“Visual arts is our picture of the world.�? - Judy Chicago

Before, I saw this film I had no idea of who Judy Chicago was, and I was really struck by how tough and honest she was. She really pushed her studio students outside of their comfort level as much as she could, and I really do think that they grew a lot because of that. She was so forceful at times and really harsh with her students, so much so, that I really kind of grew to resent her - I was so glad that I wasn’t in class with her.

I did, however, find some of her statements to be enlightening and I did learn more about some new aspects of feminist art and feminist pedagogy from her.

]]> Her idea that women “do and be,�? was a great way to state how women are often objects and objectified in art, so I thought that she was dead on with that phrase. Her point that women were brought into male schools and then were expected to fit-in in the institutions that were created for men, by men, resonated with me. I think that our current education system is slowly evolving and changing for the better, but I know from personal experience, that often times many girls are left out of the math and sciences, and as they grow older, these women are “left behind.�? Chicago’s reference of a sexist education hierarchy in terms of art was a new perspective, and one that I definitely needed to hear.

So, Chicago didn’t fill me with feelings of endearment for her, but I was glad to hear some of the more positive comments from her students. One woman said that Chicago made her students feel as if they had something worthwhile to say – that is great that Chicago is able to channel their passion effectively. I felt as if her style of teaching was to break them down and rebuild them, but that she really tried for them to discover what elements they wanted to bring forth and use in their creative processes. One of her students mentioned that Chicago uses a holistic approach to teach her students more about artistic technique and such, and she said that it was a feministic approach. One thing that was kind of funny, during the entire film, the narrator/interviewer was trying to find out what was feministic about this studio art class, and at the end? Still no solid answer! The students themselves couldn’t and didn’t really talk much about feministic pedagogy and I didn’t really mind either way…I just thought it was interesting that the idea of a feministic approach to teaching art wasn’t explored more – but maybe that’s just it…why does it need a concrete boxy type definition?

I heard two good (I thought) definitions of feminist art: one being that feminist art peels away layers of stereotypes while affirming women --and the other-- feminist art is being able to let oneself go and not be embarrassed about what the results are.

One challenge I have of Chicago is that she seems kind of full of herself. I know that she has accomplished quite a bit and was on the cover of Time when she only 25, but her quote, “When I got famous, I knew that I had become myself,�? made me think that she needed approval from Time to validate her work…what does that say about any internalized oppression she may have? Her students talked about being comfortable in being successful among their peers (read: women) and content at being behind the scenes. But, Chicago said that she had hit it when she was equal to the men…I don’t know if she should really be striving to further play and cash into a sexist system...it kind of makes her seem like a “sell-out�? or no longer a grassroots revolutionary feminist. I think that she absolutely deserves her fame, and who am I to judge her? I’m just writing out some of my thoughts here…I could go on forever, but I won’t.
-B

Obama in Minneapolis!

2008-02-05T08:46:57Z

I went to see Obama on Saturday, February 2nd at the Target Center and I loved it! He talked about many important issues that I really wanted him to address, and I left feeling completely justified in deciding to vote for him to be the next president of the US.

One thought that was brought to my attention by a White woman that I met while standing in line with 20,000 people, was that most of the Obama supporters seemed to be White. She said that she didn’t understand why this was the cause, and then she referenced the crisis in Darfur and stated that most activists were White.
I have three thoughts on this:

]]> One- this is Minnesota, and since it is practically Whitesville, that is not a fair judgment as this state is comprised mostly of White folks - that is probably the only group of people she is constantly around. In addition, most activist efforts are only noticed when they are done by the majority privileged group. Two- people of color have enough shit going in our life, from racism to fighting off attacks on our personal achievements by those who reference affirmative action as the sole credit to our current position in college or work, that we are often times being activist on a more local underground level. Three- yes, people of color aren’t doing enough. We aren’t doing our part, we are not using our voices effectively and we aren’t being activists. We are being passive and I definitely think that this is a big problem, if we expect the While folks to do all the work.

As I sat there, in silence, thinking about the three opinions that I was tossing around in my head, she looked at me, waiting for me to respond. I didn’t for a good minute, then I shrugged, and mumbled something about that being an interesting thought and that this is Minnesota, so that’s why there is more White folks in line to see Obama rather than POC. I couldn’t really take offense to her statement, because I do find a lot of truth in it. Looking around when I was inside the Target Center at the 20,000 strong for Obama, I saw mostly White folks but actually, it was the most diverse group of people that I had seen in a while, but still mostly White – that I blame on demographics. As for the “most activists for Darfur are White�? comment, that kind of got under my skin. Who else has the privilege to sit around thinking about how they should help “others?�? Is she actually doing anything to help out? Or is it because she bought some (red) product that she thinks she is an activist? Now, I know I’m being harsh on her, but I am frustrated. Both, with people who forget that their liberation is tied with others (and mine) and with people of color. For me, this whole notion of “service�? is kind of a problem, I often see White folks who think that they flying in to save the day by volunteering or spending their spring break on a bus traveling around being in a low-income community or a community of color…for a day “helping�? those who are less-fortunate. This idea of the White savior really irritates me. I know their hearts are in the right place, but I kind of want to scream at them that they actually aren’t providing any long-term solutions to those they are helping, and nor should they be! They should be helping, working with, collaborating….Maybe this is a topic for another time?

Finally, this issue of People of Color not being as active as they should be. I fully hold my peers accountable, how else can we except social justice and change if we don’t all fight for it? I don’t understand how others are able to sit back and nitpick about differences within our community, and not really do anything to move things forward…actually I do understand that they are just internalizing oppression, but I really do think that we need to wake up. Yes, there are many reasons for why POC do not fight back or fight at all, but I fully believe that those don’t excuse lack of activism on the part of POC for not getting more involved with political campaigns or large-scale crisis such as for what is happening Darfur. Hmmm…maybe I will write more on this later. This seems to be a really incomplete thought – there is so much more that is going on here…As Scarlet O’Hara said, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.�?
-B

1/29 Reflections

2008-01-30T04:53:14Z

This reflection is on "The Blue Door," a play that I saw at the Guthrie on January 26th.

“The Blue Door,�? which is set in 1995, is about Lewis, an African American math professor who struggles with his Black identity one night as he suffers from insomnia. His wife, (who is White) encourages him to join in the Million Man March by challenging his “authentic�? identity. He refuses to go and she leaves him alone in the house with his thoughts as her request for a divorce rings in his ears.

Lewis spends the night alone. He sits in his chair reflecting on why his wife all of a sudden wants a divorce. Before she left him, she made the argument that their relationship had not been authentic in quite sometime because he refuses to be true to himself. To make matters worse, Lewis is visited by three ghosts of his past: his great grandfather who was a slave, his grandfather who was lynched because he tried to vote, and by his father who, to Lewis, was never be proud of his son no matter how much he achieved academically.

The play brought up some important themes to my mind: One’s “authentic�? identity, lack of connection to one’s history and race politics. Lewis struggles with identifying as a Black man, not because he hasn’t ever experienced racism or discrimination, but because he thinks that Blackness, in general, means being “ghetto�? or uneducated. He doesn’t seem to be very proud of his roots at all, in fact, he has done his best to distance himself from fitting into stereotypical “Black�? roles. I identified with Lewis’ plight to some extent, because I understand why his character would try to cling to anything but a “traditional�? race role. I know that I sometimes think that if I distance myself from “cultural things�? then I am distancing myself from the discrimination and racism that comes along with those actions – even thought that’s not at all true.

Lewis also discussed the lack of connection he has to his personal history and how conflicted he is about it. He talked through some issues that he had with negative aspects in his family’s history such as alcoholism, drug abuse, slavery and poverty. He seemed to conclude that the only history he knew were the bad things. So, in absence of the knowledge of positive events in his history being passed down, he felt as if there were none that where important enough to be passed down. As Lewis’ ancestors visited him throughout the night, they told him about their lives (in an abridged version) and shared with him several stories of racism and how they fought against oppression. Recently, I have learned so much about the importance of history and how it is essential to know about past event in order to better fight against oppression and social injustice. I have always taken history for granted before coming to college. In my high school, history was AP US History or AP European History, the latter being much more encompassing for world history, but still very White and not very inclusive. I sometimes envy African Americans or Black Americans for the access they have to their civil rights history, it seems like I don’t know what my history is. I realize that many African/Black Americans are unable to chart their lineage specifically due to slavery tearing families apart without record, but I almost feel as if I’m in the same situation. For some reason or another, my family’s history doesn’t go back that far – and for many of my racial connections I have to rely on my parents recollections as my ethnic facts.

Lewis also talked about race politics in terms of racism and the Million Man March. He said that he didn’t feel Black enough, he didn’t feel connected to the oppression and plight of his brother, and maybe that didn’t bother him, or did it? He was confused on why he was confused. He wanted to just live his life and not have to think about race, but he knew it was impossible. Maybe Lewis’ race wasn’t as important to him as it is to other people of color, but he knew he couldn’t escape the fact that he was a man of color in a room filled with his peers – who were professors and university administrators.

I found myself frustrated with Lewis’ inability to connect to his racial history and I kept thinking, why is he distancing himself? It does no one any good! I also found it hard to sympathize with his reasoning on why he didn’t join the Million Man March – how could he miss a once-in-a-lifetime experience? I realize that his character is now just beginning to unearth his buried feelings, and I was once there – so I guess I can empathize with him, and just write it off as social justice educators say, “everyone is in different places in their own journey.�?

Overall, I liked the play, but it didn’t go as deep as I wanted it to go, and I left feeling slightly disappointed. I thought it would be a serious heart-wrenching experience, but it was not - it seemed more pedantic and scripted rather than a passionate look at race. I was unable to stay engaged, so much so, that I started get restless about 45 minutes into the play (it was an hour and a half, with no intermission!). However, I am glad I went because at times, I found myself thoroughly interested in Lewis’ dialogue with his ancestors, and I think that their scripted conversations pushed me explore some other branches in my own social justice tree.

Introduction / Self Portrait

2008-01-29T07:55:50Z

I...
-am a junior majoring in print journalism, minoring in social justice and gwss
-live on-campus (Dinkytown)
-am in love with my new digital camera that I just got for Christmas. See a picture of it here.
-am 21, but still love most of the Disney Princess'...even though I know all the reasons why I shouldn't. My fav? Jasmine!
-love: reading fun, going to bed really late and sleeping in.
-strongly dislike: shaking people's hands when I am introduced to them.
-use the word facetious too much!
-love anything that comes in the color pink or black
-cut my hair to the shortest it's ever been over winter break
-could and probably will spend the rest of my life dedicated to learning all about social justice, and making the world more socially just
-love to be put in uncomfortable situations, that are safe...it's where I grow the most!
-used to be more optimistic, but ever since I turned 21 and realized that I haven't done shit with my life yet, I am more cynical
-am ethically conflicted with my major right now. Journalists aren't supposed to make news, they are supposed to report on it and be objective. Problem? I like to make the news, and I often do (not to my choosing), and I like the access I am given at "the table" as a participant rather than just reporting on those who sit at the table.
-Guilty pleasures: Bollywood, mayo and ketchup w/my fries, Rated G and PG movie, Disney and Harry Potter Scene-It
-collect: bangles, earrings, anything glittery, shiny or pink
-fear: not achieving my dreams and goals, losing someone I love, angry men,
-am wary of: big brother, politicans, administrators,
-can't wait to: be 30 and have everything figured out...? and be working in my career and love it!

The end of free speech as we know it?

2007-12-03T02:40:49Z

This academic entry isn't about bill 1959 or the end of free speech as we know it, it is merely my comment on some ethical concerns with the following story.

"Senate Bill 1959 to Criminalize Thoughts, Blogs, Books and Free Speech Across America"
- quote taken from story headline

A friend forwarded this "article" from NewsTarget.com. The author, Mike Adam, talks about a new Senate bill (1959), which would essentially be the “…end of Free Speech.�?

Ethical issues arose when I got to his linkage to a YouTube video of Naomi Wolf’s lecture on the “10 steps of fascism,�? and the endorsement that readers go click on the provided Amazon link to buy her book, both of which got a slight eyebrow raise from me, but I was absolutely surprised when I got to his blatant endorsement of Ron Paul for president.

When I first starting reading this “article,�? I assumed it was just that - a news article. Upon further investigation of NewsTarget, (I had never heard of them before), I came across a very important part of their discloser that was located at the very bottom of the homepage. It stated that “all content…is commentary or opinion…�?

Interestingly enough, I had just finished reading the New Media ethics section in our course packet and immediately thought that this story was questionable. Just by glancing at the page, I cannot see any disclosure that this article was opinion-based. I also see mostly health ads covering most of the free space surrounding the actual story. But, to be fair, in NewsTarget’s discloser (which is in fine print at the very bottom of the homepage) they state: “Truth Publishing International, LTD. has full ownership of and takes sole responsibility for all content. Truth Publishing sells no health or nutritional products and earns no money from health product manufacturers or promoters.�?

NewsTarget.com’s motto is “information that empowers ™,�? sure Adams is informing me on this new Senate bill, but I thought more disclosure could be used, and if NewsTarget isn’t getting any money for the ads, then why are they there in the first place? It’s tacky.

This story is essentially a blog...that isn't presented in that way. I thought the site was misleading and lacked some serious disclosure, for real. I also posted the above thoughts in my journalism Media Ethics (JOUR 3771) class' discussion, so hopefully other students weigh in with their thoughts.

-B