The Onion, America's premier source of fake news, reports that historians are recommending that before policy makers implement radical changes to our society, they ought to "Check real quick first to see if human beings have ever done anything like it previously...see if it turned out to be a good idea or not."
"In the coming weeks and months, people will have to make some really important decisions about some really important issues," Columbia University historian Douglas R. Collins said during a press conference, speaking very slowly and clearly so the nation could follow his words. "And one thing we can do, before making a choice that has permanent consequences for our entire civilization, is check real quick first to see if human beings have ever done anything like it previously, and see if turned out to be a good idea or not."
"It's actually pretty simple: We just have to ask ourselves if people doing the same thing in the past caused something bad to happen," Collins continued. "Did the thing we're thinking of doing make people upset? Did it start a war? If it did, then we might want to think about not doing it."
In addition, Collins carefully explained that if a past decision proved to be favorable--if, for example, it led to increased employment, caused fewer deaths, or made lots of people feel good inside-- then the nation should consider following through with the same decision now."
Should we add this to Lilienfeld's list?