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I'm broke...

College has been the bane of my existence and the love of my life.

for the last 5 years i have been expected to know what i want to do. The only problem is, people expect there to be one answer. I, unfortunately, want to do everything. kahlo49_jpg.jpg
I have had 9 different majors since I started school, and although I loved each one at the beginning, I have had a major fear of commitment a little while in and stopped. I can't bear the idea of doing one thing for the rest of my life when there are so many wonderful and beautiful things out there to do. Here's a short list of some things I would like to do at some point for some time -

I'd sing to orphans. I'd sing to anyone who'd listen. shut-up-and-sing-8.jpg
I'd paint. I 'd make music videos just for fun. I'd design cost effective yet intellectually and socially stimulating elementary schools and rehabilitation centers. I'd council teenagers through their angst. I'd revolutionize sustainable building practices and recycling methods. I'd create completely vegan food that tastes so good no one will ever want to eat meat again. vegan.jpg
I'd design and build vegan restaurants everywhere, educate children on animal cruelty, and come down hard on factory farms everywhere. I'd travel the world and take photographs of joy and sadness, and post them on billboards, churches, highway signs, schools, television. I would raise children. I would exercise. I would sleep a lot.

I want to make a difference in the world. I'm not jaded yet, and I still think I could have a chance, if I didn't have to waste so much time taking mandatory 2 years of foreign language and a specific number of electives. I wish I could just take classes and then use that knowledge to get a job, any job that strikes my fancy. But I have to get the degree to get the job to make the money to pay for the classes. And that puts a large wrench in my plans.

I want people to see what's out there. I want high schoolers to know that they don't have to get in and out of school in 4 years. That they don't have to know what they want at 18. That school can be about actually learning, and that learning can be about exploring all the wonderful knowledge that exists in the world. I wish more people could enjoy their classes, take classes they want to take, learn what they want to learn. I wish I could. I've done a lot of that and now I'm so far in debt I don't know what my future looks like without scrimping every penny. I now have to restrict the number of classes I want to take so that I can afford to take the ones I need. It's a vicious, vicious cycle that puts a dark cloud over what should be the beautiful gift of education.

Honestly, if I were released from the constraints of school I'd stay in school the rest of my life.