SEE FOR DOUBLE YOU!!! (yaaaay!)
We have a band. Did you guys know that there's a band? Or, more importantly, did you guys know you're IN the band? This was decided on a fateful Friday afternoon (today), at Espresso 22, during an official meeting of the Let's Go to Espresso 22 After Work and Talk for Awhile and then Laugh Incessantly about a Crazy Fantastic Hypothetical Situation in which We Put Our Co-Workers into a BAND club (aka Meher, Emily S., and me).
Everyone has a specific part in the band (duuuh). Our schtick is that we think we're the most radical, tubular band around, even though we actually are ass. The band (called "See For Double You"--every time we say it, everyone says it in unison and then points at someone in the audience) performs every hour on the hour in the turret in C4W.
Meher: Singer. Sings with her eyes closed, carries a wireless mic, walks through the lab picking out unlucky victims which she forces to sit in one of the awkward, large colored chairs with desks attached so she can serenade them.
Emily S.: Oboe player. Struggles to get any notes out of the impossible to play double-reeded instrument. Sits cross-legged and slouchy in one of the aforementioned deskchairs.
Yi: Bass player (Orchestral, not guitar). Has to jump every time a note is played in order to reach the upper strings.
Peter: Official band snapper. Wears sunglasses, stands at stage right, and snaps along with the "music."
Jenna: Back-up/Main Dancer. The only dancer. 100% interpretive dancing in flowy skirts, often holding branches with leaves to swish around. Dances with her eyes closed, completely oblivious to any music. And barefoot, of course.
Maggie: Keyboard player. And not a real keyboard, just one with 10 or so keys, and two functions: trumpet and snare/cymbal. Snare/cymbal function is ALWAYS on. Batteries die halfway through every show and must be replaced.
Miranda: Band's Image Consultant. Keeps fannypack of scrunchies on her person at all times.
Sharkey: Keytar player. Instrument is kept unplugged, so it's kind of an airguitar/keytar situation. Sports a rat-tail and neckbeard.
Emily Lind: Band Manager. Most important duty, besides standing on a chair and announcing to the griping lab users that a show is about to start, is buying stage props. Most recent purchase: those flower pots containing flowers that wear sunglasses and move along to clapping/loud noises.
Keely: Didgeridoo player. Got the instrument confused with a Swiss Alp Horn, so she wears liederhosen.
Gabe: Lyricist. Specializes in spoken word, and interrupts Meher's singing every so often to share a few lines. Carries bongoes but never plays them.
Grant: Bouncer. Threatens complaining lab users with hyperbolic, ironic, metaphorical similes. And a stungun.
Wendy: Soccer-whistle player. Costume includes shin guards.
Brittany: Official Merchandise vendor. We currently sell See For Double You! fanny packs ($20), See For Double You! notepads ($8), and See For Double You! monogrammed hand towels (quite a steal at $30).