February 25, 2008

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

I'm at the not-so-generous end of my love / hate Diablo Cody spectrum today. I'm not sure that I can say anything about her winning an Oscar for Juno that won't get me yelled at, so.... I'll wuss out and post this video instead.

This is definitely harsher than I needed it to be, but it's still funny. I'll try to find something nice to say about her later to even it out.

Posted by me at 11:27 PM

June 12, 2007

Free Summer Music

Am I missing any?

Thursday, June 14
Adam Levy (Tunes at Noon)
Nadas 5-9 p.m. (Alive After Five, Peavey Plaza)
The Honeydogs & The Melismatics (Music in Mears)

Friday, June 15
Andra Suchy (Tunes at Noon)
Hopefuls and The Pines 5-9 p.m. (Alive After Five, Peavey Plaza)

Saturday, June 16
STONE ARCH FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS - Star Trib Stage
11:15 - Aviette
12:15 - Stook!
1:15 - Bookreader
2:15 - Bill Mike Band
3:30 - Kubla Khan
5:00 - The Alarmists

STONE ARCH FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS - City Pages Stage
11:15 - Bob & Lynn Dixon
12:15 - Jonathan Delehanty
1:15 - Eliza Blue
2:15 - Brad Senne from Beight
3:15 - Martin Devaney
4:15 - Mayda
5:15 - Jeremy Messersmith

Sunday, June 17
STONE ARCH FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS - Star Tribune Stage
10:15 - Jeff Wenberg
11:15 - The Abdomen
12:30 - Catchpenny
2:00 - The Sweet Latrines
3:00 - Romantica
4:00 - The Sweet Colleens
5:00 - The Mood Swings

Sunday, June 17
STONE ARCH FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS - City Pages Stage
11:15 - Bellatrex
12:15 - Charley Dush
1:15 -Andra Suchy
2:15 - Spaghetti Western String Co.
3:15 - Jeff D. Johnson
4:15 - Justin Roth
5:15 - High On Stress

Monday, June 18th
James & Mary Everest (Tunes at Noon)

Tuesday, June 19th
Summit Avenue (Tunes at Noon)

Wednesday, June 20th
Tim Mahoney (Tunes at Noon)

Thursday, June 21st
Dana Thompson (Tunes at Noon)
The New Congress (Mill City Live)
Dan Isreal and the Cultivators (Music in Mears)

Friday, June 22nd
White Light Riot (Tunes at Noon)

Monday, June 25th
Charlie Parr (Tunes at Noon)

Tuesday, June 26th
Brass Kings (Tunes at Noon)

Wednesday, June 27th
Molly Maher (Tunes at Noon)

Thursday, June 28th
Alison Scott (Tunes at Noon)
Old Yeller (Music in Mears)

Friday, June 29-July 4
Taste of Minnesota

Thursday, July 5th
Molly Maher and Her Disbelievers (Mill City Live)

Saturday, July 7th (07/07/07)
777 Event - 7 venues, each with 7 bands

Thursday, July 12
Chris Koza & The Absent Arch (Music in Mears)

Friday, July 13th
Aquatennial Block Party, 5-11:30pm
Macy’s Day of Music, noon – noon (Little Man, Hopefuls, Jelloslave, Chris Koza, Charlie Parr, etc.)

Sunday, July 15th
Ruby Isle, Vicious Vicious, Dance Band, Omaur Bliss, Moon Maan, 3-10pm (Bastille Day @ Barbette)

Monday, July 16th
Black Blondie / All That Heaven Allows (Loring Park)

Thursday, July 19
Charlie Parr & My Two Torns (Music in Mears)
White Light Riot (Mill City Live)

Monday, July 23rd
Plastic Constellations / There’s Always Tomorrow (Loring Park)

Thursday, July 26th
Alison Scott & Summit Avenue / Fletch (Music in Mears)

Monday, July 30th
The Knotwells / The Tarnished Angels (Loring Park)

Thursday, August 2nd
Jason Shannon & Mary Bue / The Great Outdoors (Music in Mears)
JoAnna James (Mill City Live)

Monday, August 6th
Metronomy / Written on the Wind (Loring Park)

Thursday, August 9th
Aviette Music & The Glad Version / The Princess Bride (Music in Mears)

Monday, August 13th
Robert Skoro / Imitation of Life (Loring Park)

Thursday, August 16th
JoAnna James & Jeremy Messersmith / Dead Poet’s Society (Music in Mears)
Salsa del Soul (Mill City Live)

Monday, August 20th
Andy Palacio and the Garifuna Collective / Magnificent Obsession (Loring Park)

Thursday, August 23rd
Dance Band & Magic Castles / Girls Just Want to Have Fun (Music in Mears)

Thursday, August 30th
The Flaming Oh's & The Alarmists / Young Frankenstein (Music in Mears)

Thursday, Sept. 6th
The Alarmists (Mill City Live)

Thursday, Sept. 20th
Kip Blackshire (Mill City Live)

Posted by me at 7:36 PM

May 22, 2007

What the Hell?

On the recommendation of Satan, I checked out the documentary Hell House from the library this week. This film documents the planning, audition, construction, and presentation of an all-sin-leads-to-hell (especially homosexuality, Harry Potter, the morning after pill, the internet, and raves) themed haunted house. If this film had a theme, it might be irony--Hell House actors would rather play the parts of the sinners or demons than of Jesus or the angels.

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Jeremy spoke in class today. Then Satan dragged him off to hell.

The director does a good job presenting the subjects without judgement. But, as with Jesus Camp, what the viewer takes away from the film probably depends a lot on what they bring to it. I'm not sure what I found worse, that the kids in the "School Violence Scene" use real guns loaded with blanks to "kill" their fellow classmates, or that in the "occult scene" they have the Star of David painted on the wall instead of a pentagram.

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Oops. At least they didn't accidentally use white candles again this year.

If you rent the DVD, be sure to check out the "Hell House award ceremony" in the extras where you will get to hear the "Suicide Scene" winner, Liz, say "Well, I couldn't have done it without my rapers, so thank you Brent and David. And I just want to say it was really an honor to do this part. At first I was real uncomfortable with it, you know when I heard that I was gonna have to be raped and I was like, ok, what is that gonna be like, but it ended up being a lot of fun."

Posted by me at 9:04 PM

April 25, 2007

Holy Crap! Jesus Christ! Oh my God!!!

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Eleanor Ringel Gillespie of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution should have written: "...an ecstatic monster movie, as terrifying as it is funny..." about Jesus Camp. Watching the camp leaders pray in tongues that the AV equipment should work properly and not be taken over by the devil was funny, hearing Ted Haggard preach against homosexuality saying, "I think I know what you did last night. If you send me a thousand dollars, I won't tell your wife," knowing he was later forced out of the church for having a sexual relationship with a male prostitute was hilarious, but the rest was quite disturbing. I'm not usually one to begrudge someone their religion, but raising your children to believe they are prophets and not trust anyone outside of the church seems almost abusive.

Posted by me at 6:07 AM

March 18, 2007

The Host

Eleanor Ringel Gillespie of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution writes of The Host: "...an ecstatic monster movie, as terrifying as it is funny...."

host.jpg

While it is technically true the the movie contained equal amounts of humor and terror, I now find Ms. Gillespie's review to be a little disingenuous as I found this movie to be quite dull and only slightly amusing. My recommendation would be to skip it.

Posted by me at 8:36 PM

February 1, 2007

Pan's Labyrinth

It's true. It's good.
Pan's Labyrinth

There's less fantasy and more Spanish Civil War to the movie than the ads would lead you to believe, but it's still excellent. It reminded me a lot of Guillermo Del Toro's other Spanish Civil War film, Devil's Backbone.

The Rosedale AMC on the other hand gets mixed reviews. Besides the illogical decision to put the ticket booth outside and not connect the theatre to the mall (brrrrrrrrrrr), the theatre itself was Ok. The screen was HUGE. I sat in the middle of the theatre and I found myself needing to look down to read the subtitles. Next time I'll sit towards the back.

Posted by me at 2:16 PM

December 3, 2006

The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines

What a way to waste Bob Newhart.

Posted by me at 9:04 PM

Dick and Balls

Happy Birthday to me! Theme 31: Is it over yet?

This year's birthday involved a visit to the bowling alley where I unequivocally proved that dedicating your bowling balls to someone (in my case Dick Valentine) before you toss them down the lane improves your performance.

For example, observe frame one of game three:

All downhill from here

Kathy dedicated her ball to John Bon Jovi, while Marv, Dave and myself dedicated our balls to Dick Valentine. Scott didn't. Scott only scored a nine, while Kathy, myself, Dave, and Marv all got strikes.

We also discovered speed bowling, which is what you get when you buy the lane by the hour instead of by the game. Speed bowling occasionally results in unfortunate ball / gate collisions that proprietors of bowling alleys do not find amusing.

After bowling, I met Chris and Lisa at the 331 club. Lisa gave me Warhol lips for shushing.

Chrisified Warhol Lips

Speaking of shushing... TNT premieres the sequel to The Librarian tonight. The Librarian was ridiculously stupid, but worth watching if only to see Bob Newhart kill a man with his bare hands. Hopefully there will be plenty of Bob in this one too.

Posted by me at 6:47 PM

May 30, 2006

The Da Vinci Code

I didn't want to read The Da Vinci Code. I like to be one of those "if it's good enough for billions of people it's not good enough for me" kind of annoying snobs. But, my brother gave it to me for Christmas, so I read it. Much to my dismay I really liked it. So, with the movie coming out I was eager to redeem myself by being one of those "the book was better than the movie" annoying snobs. Bullseye. I was right. The film followed the book's plot pretty closely, with the exception of Langdon's flashbacks of having fallen in a well as a child (which apparently came from Angels and Demons, but really what purpose did it serve?) but for me, it wasn't as interesting without all the art history and long drawn out theories. Plus there was all this weird CGI stuff in there that just didn't seem to work.

On the otherhand I have nothing but good things to say about the Heights Theatre. Besides the Wurlitzer, the curtains that open and close over the screen, and it simply being a beautiful space--they also let you bring in ice cream from the Dairy Queen next door. Brilliant!

Posted by me at 9:37 PM

April 27, 2006

Thank You For Smoking

To celebrate Big Tobacco's win for "Best Villain" in the City Pages Best of the Twin Cities 2006 issue, my tobacco lobbyist friend (we'll call him Ttocs to preserve his anonymity and protect his mortgage) and I went to see Thank You For Smoking. I'm a pro-ban, non-smoker, but I found this movie incredibly funny. It really backed up what I've believed to be true all along: you can prove anything if you argue it correctly. Ttocs, needless to say, found it funnier. We made sure to bring a camera with and took a picture of him next to the giant "Thank You For Smoking" sign in the lobby.

thankyouforsmoking.jpg

Posted by me at 10:50 AM

February 19, 2006

Hello... My Name is Joe

cannibal2.gif

Another Cannibal Night has come and gone.

Menu:
sloppy JOE
CEASAR salad
GINGER ale
Gummy Soldiers on a stick
Dr. Pepper
Ladyfingers
Chip
Guacamole (made with avocados from the Avocado Jungle of Death)

and the pièce de résistance:
An anatomically correct brain made of rainbow layered Jello.
brain.jpg

Background music was compliments of Mr. Richard Hayman and his album "Voodoo!" It really set the mood for the evening, but I think it must have triggered some latent homicidal inclinations in Dave because he went mad and started strangling the guests.

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The night's feature presentation, Eating Raoul, was quite entertaining if not the cannibalistic extravaganza the Netflix synopsis made it out to be.

Posted by me at 9:41 PM

August 2, 2005

Fearless Freaks

This was a really good documentary. I especially liked seeing Wayne run off the stage and over the crowd in what looked like a giant inflatable hamster ball.

I wish Wayne was my neighbor.

Some of the live footage in the film was shot at the New Year's Eve show (Chicago with the White Stripes) I went to. I remember seeing the cameras and wondering what they were filming for. I wasn't close enough to the stage to get in any of the audience shots but it was fun to see anyway.

Fearless Freaks @ IMDB

Posted by me at 10:15 PM

July 20, 2005

Star Wars: Revenge of the Cliche

I finally got around to finishing off Star Wars. Episode three made me want to vomit. Seriously. Fairly early in the movie my friend was inspired to lean over and ask if I had a barf bag:

Cliche moment #1 (no, you are, NO you are, no YOU are)
Anakin Skywalker: You are so... beautiful.
Senator Amidala: It's only because I'm so in love.
Anakin Skywalker: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.

If I had been drinking soda, it surely would have shot out my nose.

Cliche moment #2 (in which Padme dies of a broken heart)
Medical Droid: Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her.
Obi-Wan: She's dying?
Medical Droid: We don't know why. She has lost the will to live.

Then, just when you thought Lucas had run out of cliches:

Cliche #3 (Darth Vadar learning of Padme's death)
Darth Vadar: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (arms extended to the sky, of course)

Quote: Star Wars or Power Rangers?
"Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side! "
(Sadly the answer is Star Wars)

And there weren't nearly enough Wookies in this episode.

Posted by me at 12:07 PM

July 7, 2005

Pyrotechnic Tractors

Or how I spent my summer vacation in Amish country...

fireworks.jpg

Decorah, IA
Highlights: ogling red sparkle Kustom tuck-and-roll amp at record shop, pyrotechnic tractor at nearby Spillville fireworks, telling friend just before passing out from sleep-aid that her kitchen looked like a postcard I got from Amsterdam.
Lowlight: the movie War of the Worlds (not good)

La Crosse, WI
Highlight: Watching friend nearly piss himself laughing over squirrel "protect your nuts" t-shirt at Kohl's
Lowlight: the cherry malt at Culver's is nowhere near as good as the blackberry

Lanesboro, MN
Shocking / interesting facts: I rode a bike nine miles, didn't see any Amish people

Posted by me at 11:24 AM

April 5, 2005

Sin City

I was pleased to find that this fictional comic book location is actually Basin City. Sin City would have been just a little too cliche. I thought the movie was pretty good. It definitely looked and felt like a comic book. It's hard to go wrong with black and white. However, between this movie and Bride and Prejudice, I'm starting to not be able to overlook that Rory Gilmore (aka Alexis Bledel) isn't really a very good actress. I still love to watch the "Gilmore Girls" though. I can't help myself; it's just so cheesy.

sincity_compare1.jpg

Owning a cell phone hasn't killed me yet. This gives me hope. I have yet to buy my new computer. Yes, I am a technophobe.

23 days...

Posted by me at 12:09 PM

April 1, 2005

Crossed over to the darkside...

I'm several years behind, but I finally broke down Wednesday and bought a cell phone. I feel very weird about it, sort of grown up and ashamed. Hopefully it won't make me rude.

The good and the bad of last week:

Good--Finding Neverland, even though my friend Mary said that a couple of those Davis boys committed suicide later in life. The kid who played Peter was pretty good, which gives me hope for the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie.

Good--Springtime.

Good--Hip Art that's Square @ the Goldstein Gallery. My favorite album cover was "Mambo for Cats." I had no idea there were so many parodies of "Whipped Cream and Other Delights."

Good--Smoking ban. I went to Dusty's last night and there was no smoke to bother my allergies.

Bad--pollenating trees bother my allergies.

Bad--pizza from Manhatten Loft on the East Bank

Good/Bad--Closer for free at Coffman Union. The movie was good, but the film was slightly out of focus and the sound was funny. But it was free.

Good/Bad--"Girlfriend in a Coma" by the Smiths. But it was a bad week to have it stuck in my head. I blame the circus that claims to be the news.

Posted by me at 2:54 PM

October 18, 2004

Shining a Light on Team America

I just love reading reviews of movies at pluggedinonline.com. As you can imagine, they found no redeaming qualities in Team America. What do people who can't even type the word "h---" have to say about this new film by the makers of "South Park?" READ

Posted by me at 2:18 PM