Bitter Dregs: Archives

Archives

TOS Rewind #54: "The Enterprise Incident"
TOS Rewind #53: "Spock's Brain"
TOS Rewind #52: "Assignment: Earth"
TOS Rewind #51: "Bread and Circuses"
TOS Rewind #50: "The Ultimate Computer"
TOS Rewind #49: "The Omega Glory"
TOS Rewind #48: "By Any Other Name"
TOS Rewind #47: "Patterns of Force"
TOS Rewind #46: "Return to Tomorrow"
TOS Rewind #45: "A Private Little War"
Your Call Cannot Be Completed As Dialed
TOS Rewind #44: "The Immunity Syndrome"
"What we require now is a feat of linguistic legerdemain and a degree of intrepidity."
"Don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice."
"But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue."
"You have insulted forces beyond your comprehension."
"A great impression of simplicity can only be achieved by great agony of body and spirit."
TOS Rewind #43: "A Piece of the Action"
"Oooooooh, let me anoint your beak with scented oils."
Crushed Entry
"You step on the bug and the f*cking internet is never invented."
"I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work."
TOS Rewind #42: "The Gamesters of Triskelion"
"A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish."
"I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka! "
TOS Rewind #41: "The Trouble With Tribbles"
"Full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality."
"We're reform school gals looking for love in all the wrong places."
"You think grown-ups have it all figured out?"
"Do you poke smot?"
"Maybe you'd like an arsenic on the rocks."
"If you say the f-word, nothing actually happens."
"God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt."
TOS Rewind #40: "Wolf in the Fold"
"And chamber maids were once such a liberal breed."
"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."
"You are secretly funny."
TOS Rewind #39: "Obsession"
"I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."
"I have no plans to eat anyone."
"You know what the Ph.D. stands for, don't you? Piled higher and deeper. "
"I wanna grow my money, Tink, not spend it on cheese gouging!"
"Embers is not the forum to discuss legalities!"
TOS Rewind #38: "The Deadly Years"
"It's as clear as a buttonhook in the well water!"
Launch Pad
"We deserve better villains."
TOS Rewind #38: "Friday's Child"
"A bakery is virtually impossible to run without drug money."
"You look like a radioactive tampon."
"You're trying to be smart, and that's lame!"
TOS Rewind #36 and #37: "Metamorphosis" and "Journey to Babel"
The Dregs of Christmas
"Look, the Giant Chicken's Boba Fett!"
"There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch."
"Being me... has its privileges."
TOS Rewind #35: "I, Mudd"
"You don't seem to be evil, you seem to be more of a grouch."
Goodbye, Mr. Barnes
"I don't need a doctor, dammit, I AM a doctor!"
Up on the hill, they think I'm okay. Or so they say.
"I don't like the way Teddy Roosevelt is looking at me."
TOS Rewind #34: "Catspaw"
"Questions are a burden to others. Answers are prison for oneself."
"My grandmother lives in a condominium."
BG Podcast
"I love showtunes, they really tell the story of the human condition."
TOS Rewind #33: "The Doomsday Machine"
"Does this game go on forever or does it have an end?"
"I'm not a quack. I'm a mad scientist. There's a difference."
"Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights."
TOS Rewind #32: "The Apple"
"You're English dear, fake it."
"Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
TOS Rewind #31: "Mirror, Mirror"
"Someone get that dirty old man out of this operating theater."
"I hate pudding and I don't use... toilet paper."
"Woo! All right! We're being invaded!"
"Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?"
"There is only one kind of dance: the Robot."
TOS Rewind #30: Sci Fi in Movies DorkCast
"We could all be chasing our tails over some half-assed planetarium show."
TOS Rewind #29: "Who Mourns for Adonais" and "The Changeling"
"I don't mind being the smartest man in the world, I just wish it wasn't this one."
"Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?"
"Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede."
"I'll just put it here with the rest of the fire."
"I am now leaving France. This is a bad idea."
"Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"
"Man, that's *real* coffee!"
TOS Rewind #28: "Amok Time"
"I would say that I'm just drifting. Here in the pool."
TOS Rewind #?: "Star Trek"
"Scientifically engineered and all that crap."
"Flaming Death is a huge hit!"
"Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... What's his name? Lee!"
TOS Rewind #27: "Operation -- Annihilate!"
Andy does a great website for Dave Stafford, Architect Extraordinaire!
"We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
Dude...
"It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter."
TOS Rewind #26: "The City on the Edge of Forever"
"Drinking doesn't cause hangovers; stopping drinking causes hangovers."
"She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels"
"Yeah I was just explaining to my partner here how much I've always wanted to see Lincoln, Nebraska."
"And what does an assistant phone basher do exactly?"
"It's small, but particularly dirty."
TOS Rewind #25: "The Alternative Factor"
"I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous."
"It's not nice to fool with the dark overlords!"
"Sunday is not the new Saturday night."
"He sees policemen in his soup."
"You don't have to pass an IQ test to be in the Senate."
Fighting Musicians
"I read, I smoke, I admire."
TOS Rewind #24: "Errand of Mercy"
"This is just like television, only you can see much further."
"He can't defend himself - he's got no head."
"Candy doesn't grow on trees, you know!"
"As far as I'm concerned he's the future president of nowhere."
"I look like the Hamburglar."
TOS Rewind #24: "The Devil in the Dark"
"But that's 59 in Bunny Years."
"Next time we'll have a foolproof coffin."
"Dude, you are a warrior poet."
"We could gather nuts!"
"It's not a crime to be an a**hole, but it's very counter-productive."
TOS Rewind #23: "This Side of Paradise"
"Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary."
"Well, it's time for Mr. Dee-dee Doo-doo to say good night."
"We don't 'ka-frickin-boom' here."
"Sir, I fear we are being used!"
TOS Rewind #22: "A Taste of Armageddon"
"You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you."
"I'm sorry; I meant, 'Drop dead, *comrade*.'"
"Surely our massive conglomerate parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee."
"Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy."
"America isn't ready for the real me."
TOS Rewind #21: "Space Seed"
"Pancakes are love."
"You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once."
TOS Rewind #20: "The Return of the Archons"
"The grown-ups have to go to work today."
"It's all ball bearings nowadays."
"Everything's new! New is better!"
TOS Rewind #19: "Court Martial"
"There are no holidays in the fight against evil."
"Sorry, I smoked weed with the president and I totally forgot what I was going to say."
"You steal The Bible, you go to Hell."
TOS Rewind #18: "Tomorrow is Yesterday"
"I don't have a Liverpool accent."
"Jeff used to play the trombone in high school."
My brother says it all.
"So what's wrong with the blueberry pie?"
Copenhagen and Home
Kristiansand
Stavanger
Bergen
Geiranger
Trondheim
The North Cape
Tromso
Arctic Circle
Flam
Edinburgh
Newcastle
Harwich and London
We've arrived.
"It's like the Titanic but with bears!"
"My career is on a toboggan run of failure at the moment."
"I have re-mastered the art of handling hecklers."
TOS Rewind #17: "Arena"
"I told you to stop beatin' them drums!"
"Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!"
"All those wonderful orthopedic devices."
"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"
"This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I've ever seen."
"I don't have time for flatulence and orgasms!"
"How about a shave?"
"It's the scientists!"
"Nobody stabs my bus!"
"Why is yogurt night so hard?"
"Look! I'm a Labrador!"
TOS Rewind #16: "The Squire of Gothos"
"How can a train be lost? It's on rails."
From another format war...
"This is a very, very, very nice suit."
TOS Rewind #15: "The Galileo Seven"
"Some people fear the Lord, I fear women."
Star Trek: The Nostalgic Picture
"Premium-wise and billing-wise, we are eighteen percent ahead of last year, October-wise."
"I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think."
"Welcome to the magical world of ponies!"
TOS Rewind #14: Shore Leave
"Does your mother know what you do for a living?"
"I hate posses."
"Everytime I pass a library I get an anxiety attack."
TOS Rewind #13: "Balance of Terror"
"Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ."
"I've always felt out futures lay outside the world of academic achievement."
"Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig."
"Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly laser blasts instead of deadly slide shows! "
"I want that chubby Communist girl off my show!"
TOS Rewind #12: "The Conscience of the King"
"Kids are cool and all, but getting there seems like a big cosmic joke."
"Finally Chef Gusteau has found his rightful place in history alongside another equally famous chef... Monsieur Boy-ar-dee."
"Thirty-second materialistic sound bites that insult our intelligence? Ooooooh, give me more of those!"
"You Americans are dumb. You admire Lafayette and Maurice Chevalier. They're the dumbest of all Frenchmen."
TOS Rewind #11: "The Menagerie"
"Have you ever slept in a castle with a moat before? "
"Is that a lama... with a hammer?"
"Are you God's black friend?"
"Steely Dan can gargle my balls."
"What is a DVD player? Is it for pornography? "
TOS Podcast 2
TOS Rewind #10: "The Corbomite Maneuver"
"It's very comfortable just to drift here."
"I learned fried chicken at the school of hard knocks."
"The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award."
The TOS Podcast!
"We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!"
TOS Rewind #9: "Dagger of the Mind"
TOS Rewind #8: "Miri"
"This bodes some strange eruption to our state."
TOS Rewind #7: "What Are Little Girls Made Of"
"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU JIVE GEEK! "
TOS Rewind #6: "Mudd's Women"
"Aloha. Aloha, suckers."
TOS Rewind #5: "The Enemy Within"
Asleep at the Wheel (of WoW)
"Why don't you knock a hole in your head and let some brains in."
TOS Rewind #4: "The Naked Time"
"I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons."
TOS Rewind #3: "Charlie X"
TOS Rewind #2: "The Man Trap"
"You want to wake up with something strange?"
TOS Rewind #1: "Where No Man Has Gone Before"
"Must Take the Ship!"
"Why on earth would anyone want to go camping? "
"This is me turning off your morphine."
Showmanship Instead of Genius
"Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal."
"Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead."
"What the hell does he care, he's having fun."
"You brought your cat to a crime scene? "
"Why is that ninja smoking a cigarette?"
"My life suddenly seems long, measured in muffins."
"I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hotdogs to teenagers."
"My car just hit a water buffalo."
"I got suits I can't get parts for. "
"The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark! "
"Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball."
"Diane, never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish."
"But they were out of tomato paste, and by the time they got more in, my coupon had expired. And now I have venereal disease."
"This scene's supposed to be in a saloon but the censor cut it out."
"Christ, I miss the Cold War."
"I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success! "
Get on the Bus, Gus
"I am relieved to know that I am not a golem."
"I find everyone's pain amusing, except my own... I'm French!"
"Why is everybody gotta be so freakin' stupid these days?"
"Why is everybody gotta be so freakin' stupid these days?"
"Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad."
"It might do you good to eat a little dust once in awhile."
"For a man who was slow of tongue, he talked a lot."
"I feel like Arthur Dent in my PJ's."
"David, computers don't call people!"
"Heart on stick must die!"
"Well, that's good news - snakes on crack."
"Hearty fare breeds hearty people, haute cuisine breeds degenerates."
Don't Eat The Entertainment
"I can say what I want - I still got Nazi bullets in my ass."
Let's Listen To It!
"The details of your incompetence do not interest me."
"Is the jar of dirt going to help? "
"We all have our little faults. Mine's in California."
"Where'd you meet this Weenie King?"
"Why, honey, of course there's gonna be a war."
"Sorry miss, I was giving myself an oil-job."
"You are a sad strange little wagon, and you have my pity!"
"Get me. I'm givin' out wings."
"Somebody... down there... likes me!"
"One woe doth tread upon another's heels so fast they follow."
"That is an SUV; Humans ride in them because they are slowly losing their ability to walk."
"Here, take a slug out of the mug."
"Greed captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit."
"Whoa! This isn't woodshop class?"
"The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake."
"You don't give a monkey a latte!"
"Politics is the only thing more boring than blood samples."
"Would you... like to be upgraded?"
"Damnit, he put my stapler in jello again."
"It's time you've learned how to rule the universe."
"Scotch was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad."
"Dammit man, the Doobie Brothers broke up!"
"They say all native Californians come from Iowa."
"I am sorry, but sometimes my tongue wiggles in ways I cannot control."
"Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help."
"They're not breasts, they're just big chemical balls, okay?"
"We'd love to stay here and count our brain cells as they die one-by-one."
"How about the shape of that liquor cabinet?"
"You drove right over my heart, and you didn't even signal."
"Imagine me with no head - and don't say that's an improvement."
"You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinkin'."
"Pabst Blue Ribbon is what you'll drink tonight!"
"Look, Buster, don't you get overstimulated with me!"
"We are but poor, lost circus performers."
"Quiet, gentlemen. Reverend Rodent's gonna address you."
"Sushi. That's what my ex-wife called me - cold fish."
"You have the touch of a love-starved cobra."
"Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"
"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."
"God, how I hate the twentieth century."
"You have failed me for the last time, Admiral."
"...der Führer vas descended from a long line of English qveens."
"Man, Shelock Holmes does coke!"
"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded."
"You don't want to argue with anyone larger than your van."
"Daddy, I got cider in my ear."
"...a fool is a man who pays twice for the same thing."
"Don't take away my Telemundo!"
"Beulah, peel me a grape."
"Taxi! Follow that ape!"
"Imagine me with no head - and don't say that's an improvement."
"I'm tellin' ya, Animal, these Nazis ain't kosher."
"It'd be like a Chrismukah Bar Mitzvahkah!"
"I'm a little busy bringing down the network tonight, Bill."
"Blimey! That's one big woman."
"Only morons are nice on Christmas."
"Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!"
"Anti-communist? That, sir, is not your average profession."
"I was in 'Nam with a jerk like you."
"I wouldn't trust this overgrown pile of microchips any further than I can throw it."
"Who's the dummy writing this show?"
"Moods are for cattle and loveplay, not for fighting!"
"Let's go get sushi and not pay."
"Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo? "
"I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people."
"Mickey Mouse ain't got no race. He represents all men."
"In just a few hours you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot Schmoes."
"You're my favorite living mystery."
"He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?"
"Yeah, zis is an example of smartness here."
"Who the hell is this guy and why would I care if he has a merry Christmas?"
"Sparkling Muscatel, one of the finest wines of Idaho."
"If I had my choice between a three pound bass and a girl, I'd take the three pound bass."
"Eternity begins in 45 minutes."
"This is the puppet hospital and burns center. It's relatively new."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I'm crushing your head. Crush. Crush."
"It's the *pictures* that got small."
"Ve vant ze money, Lebowski."
"Dear Buddha, I would like a pony and a plastic rocket."
"Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind!"
"The vicious table-hopper is on the prowl, and the spotted back-biter may lurk behind a potted palm."
"I tell ya, the things that fall off of me... it's embarrassing!"
"She's there now with a cadre of vampires looking to party."
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."
"Only grown-up men are scared of women."
"To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes."
"Glad to meet you, kid, you're a real horse's ass."
"We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."
"They planted traditional college foliage: ivy, trees, hemp..."
"This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."
"In dealing with a girl or horse, one just lets nature take its course."
"Hey, what's this show about, anyway? I don't know - they say it's some big gorilla."
"You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy."
"Ah, Beethoven. He's my favorite playwright."
"I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for."
"Tuesday's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was a big success."
"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants."
"That's very Zen of you, you must smoke pot."
"...life is very much like coffee - the aroma is always better than the actuality."
Hello, I Must Be Going
"Rebuilding is for losers. Time to party."
"The French Love This Film Because They Can't Understand It"
"We're the only species who put our own kind in cages."
"Just... follow the money."
"Let them puppies loose!"
"At last, your family can be protected from the heartbreak of gorilla invasion."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Foiled by a cheap cinematic trick."
"Integrity is something you sell the public."
"I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
"I should hate to see our country endangered by my underwear."
"Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!"
"Your information train is jammed, man!"
"The fate of the world is in my hands? That's so... sad."
"We shall proceed with the pawprinting"
"Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it."
"Did Doogie Howser just steal my f*#@ing car? "
"I started at the top and have been working my way down ever since."
"The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt."
"We're the Veterinarians of the pets of the children of the children you never had."
"Your cat can flush?"
"Skeletor to King Randor... come in, you royal boob!"
"Chambraigne: It's shampoo for your hair, and your brain."
"Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!"
"Quaffable, but not transcendent."
"This show has more scenery than Yellowstone National Park!"
"Let us be crooked, but never common."
"Tipping is un-American."
"Don't quote Dickens in my apartment!"
"What you're needing more than a horse is a good dog."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a dead rhinoceros."
"Captain, please don't..."
"Lawyers love wigs."
"I want to see the whites of his lies."
"I've cut millions off of deals by eating baked beans with my HANDS."
"If you believed as much as you thought you believed you wouldn't be confused."
"Mr. Worf, do you know Gilbert and Sullivan?"
"This is worse than Kathie Lee Gifford singing cabaret!"
"Leave with me now or I'll run amok."
"I'm not a snitcher; I just tell it like it is."
"Running a casino is like robbing a bank with no cops around."
"Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern."
"Readin'...writin'... and radiation!"
"I'm terrified of realtors."
"Those little green guys they...they didn't pick us out by accident!"
"Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead."
"There's been a little complication with my complication."
"Are your men on the right pills?"
"Hollywood's a state of mind."
"I'm not really a shark slayer..."
"Behold, as a wild ass in the desert, go I forth to my work."
"Better on T.V. than on the streets."
"Up the riggings, you monkeys!"
"You're confusing flakiness with style!"
"God writes the script, sweetie. I just say the lines."
"Disguised as what? Mother Theresa and a leper?"
"Feh! I used to design for GODS!"
"Then perhaps with the finger, you have bought wisdom."
"This is just like television, only you can see much further."
"Do those headhunters really collect heads, Professor?"
"Hans Bwix? Oh no!"
"Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks."
"It's going to be easy - like peeling a turtle."
"This isn't just an ordinary Trumpet! It's a Bong!"
"Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds."
"Never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint."
"Around here, we've got something more powerful than Drano."
"I'm a society burglar. I don't expect people to rush about shooting me!"
"When a man is wrestling a leopard in the middle of a pond, he's in no position to run."
"We're not in infinity; we're in the suburbs."
"I've had more fun watching slush melt."
"You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect."
"Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed."
"Well I can't take ANYTHING you say seriously with that stupid accent."
"This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."
"This is espresso - it's like Coffee-zilla."
"You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would, often."
"I'm a resident alien here from England - you know, the country that used to own you people."
"I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening."
"Sturgeon, he's a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick."
"Whatever happened to raping and pillaging?"
"I have some very definite pear-shaped ideas that I'd like to discuss with thee."
"Ben, superheroes that pray together stay together."
"If that battery's dead, it will have company!"
"Pray for mercy from Puss... in boots."
"Wings count as legs."
"Revenge may be wicked, but it's perfectly natural."
"My name is Talky Tina, and I'm going to kill you."
"I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed."
"A genius with access to unstable chemicals!"
"Learning from each other while we do our thing."
"Wives! They cause me more trouble than the Methodist church."
"If I can survive this movie, I can survive anything."
"Sure a dictatorship would be easier."
"The ratio of people to cake is too big."
"I don't use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom."
"The principal's supposed to hit me with a coupla caps of acid."
"I'm hip about time."
"HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!"
"If you can dodge wrenches, you can dodge balls."
"We're smart, we're witty, and we've got asses that rock!"
Jack Knowles sings the blues!
"How swift thy sword."
"For a dummy, you make a lot of sense."
But the doggone gal turned sour on me!
"The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
"I think the world has been run long enough by well-meaning professionals. We might give the amateurs a chance now."
"I'm sorry, but there'll be no ice cream for you tonight."
"'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. 'Interesting' shall suffice here."
"Her Majesty's very touchy about having her subjects strangled."
"There is a big, knappy hair in my sundae."
"We need to talk about your TPS reports."
"What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia."
"Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principle is?"
"I just *love* scanning for life forms!"
"Nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand."
"Pay no attention to him. The man spent 90 days on the high seas drinking grain alchohol from a goat bladder."
"One has to ask some very strange things in the job I have."
The DVD list...part two!
"Mein F�hrer! I can WALK!"
"I'm a Canadian. It's like an American, but without the gun."
"I'll spank you smartly with my spank ray."
Doc Dregs' DVD Lists Volume 1
"Who says famine has to be depressing?"
"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
"I'm going to feed your eyes to the birds, red-hair!"
"I've always thought a good lashing with a buggy whip would benefit you immensely."
"Everything's so clear to me now. I'm the King of the Cheese, and you're the Lemon Merchant."
"You refused to follow the ABCs of professional killing!"
"Come on you miserable fat-head, get that fat-ass truck outta my way!"
"Women can't be gay. Because if men were gay and women were gay they'd cancel each other out."
"I'm freezing my ball-bearings off!"
"Twelve days of Christmas! One day of Christmas is loathsome enough!"
"Mysterious visitor with unknown powers on our planet for supplies.... A six-pack of tuna?"
"I'm not really a wicked fairy. I'm just wicked."
"I wanted to meet the man who could write such a long paper with so few adjectives."
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't on the verge of doing snoopy dances."
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."
"It's all part and parcel of the whole genie gig: phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty living space."
"Time sure flies when you're changing species."
"They're always after me lucky charms"
"We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal!"
"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, sleepies. We must go, yeeees, we must go at once."
"You have nowhere to go. I am here to protect you."
"Don't make me use my stuff on ya, baby! "
"'Mephistopheles' is SUCH a mouthful in Manhattan."
"One thing I'll say for him, Jesus is cool. "
"Return of the Passion of the King Christ"
"Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy."
"We are sure that the familiar sounds of Verdi will come back to you tonight, and Mrs. Claypool's checks will probably come back in the morning."
"I never drink wine."
"Do I laugh now, or wait 'til it gets funny?"
"I'm on Shag Highway heading West."
"I call it... the hot dog tree, because... it's a hot dog tree."

Bitter Dregs

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