For my democratic friends...
>>
>>Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
>>
>>1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
>>you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need
>>our prayers for your recovery.
>>
>>2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
>>highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
>>Iraq.
>>
>>3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money
>>but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain
>>of illness.
>>
>>4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving
>>their jobs to India.
>>
>>5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
>>multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
>>mankind without regulation.
>>
>>6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
>>Hillary Clinton.
>>
>>7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
>>in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
>>
>>8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday
>>run for governor of California as a Republican.
>>
>>9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
>>
>>10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime
>>allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
>>
>>11. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the
>>public at heart.
>>
>>12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
>>health care to all Americans is socialism.
>>
>>13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science,
>>but creationism should be taught in schools.
>>
>>14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
>>Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
>>with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
>>diversion.
>>
>>15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
>>impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war
>>in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
>>
>>16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
>>Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
>>Internet.
>>
>>17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,
>>but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
>>
>>18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John
>>Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the
>>right to adopt.
>>
>>19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
>>interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
>>
>>20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but
>>trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
>>harmony.
>>
>>If you don't send this to at least 10 people, we're likely to be
>>stuck with Bush for 4 more years. Friends don't let friends vote
>>Republican.
>>
>
>
>Kathleen A. Gallo
>Associate Professor
>Departments of Physiology & Biochemistry
>Michigan State University
>4180 BPS
>East Lansing, MI 48824
>gallok@msu.edu
>517-355-6475 x1159