Semblance of a Whole

Much Ado About Sex Ed

Apparently, the Planned Parenthood-sponsored web page Teenwire has some parents pretty worked up. For example, Michele, at A Small Victory laments that there are web sites that see fit to respond to teens' questions on some very explicit sexual matters, including activities that many people wouldn't contemplate participating in themselves, let alone their teenaged children.

While I share Michele's and others' shock and chagrin that teens are even asking these questions, I think it's a mistake vent our collective spleens at Teenwire or Planned Parenthood. The question I have for the folks (not necessarily Michele, but certainly many of the people who commented on her posting) who are righteously condemning sites like this is, do you think that the concept of a web site where teens feel free to ask questions about sex and their bodies and get straightforward, factual answers is a good one?* If so, what should the response be when the questions go beyond the comfort zone of "can I get pregnant from kissing someone?" and "will I go blind from masturbating?" Should the site tell the teens who submit those questions that they are naughty boys and girls for asking? Should they simply ignore those questions? It's hard for me to imagine a response, other than the factual ones given on Teenwire, that wouldn't result in a loss of the trust that allows teens to feel comfortable asking for the information that could potentially protect their health or even their lives. Because the fact is, many (if not most) teens are not comfortable asking their parents (or anyone who actually knows them) these questions.

I may not like all the questions that are asked, but I think the benefits outweigh the negatives here. Some people feel that seeing these types of questions answered in a matter of fact way will give teens the impression that having sex at age 13 and/or participating in all the related activities in question is perfectly okay, normal, etc., and will undermine any attempts to teach teens the importance of abstinance. I am willing to entertain this possibility. It's possible that one side-effect of sex ed sites like Teenwire is a kind of desensitization. However, the fact that the questions are appearing on the site in the first place is evidence to me that the damage has already been done. Young people are exposed to most of this stuff on prime time television these days, not to mention the movies, music, and other mass media. I don't think the fact that Planned Parenthood is willing to answer the inevitable questions is making things any worse.

*If your answer to this question is no, then I guess I can understand why you'd like to see Teenwire disappear, but I pity your children. You may be thinking, "well I grew up without Teenwire, and I managed to do just fine," but you didn't grow up now. You grew up in a time when it was actually possible reach puberty without knowing what a blow job is and in blissful ignorance of Janet Jackson's nipple ring.