So my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and the numbers are starting to look really scary. Even when I was a kid, I never wished I was older than I was. I always knew that one day I would look back and wish I had appreciated being young while I had the chance. Besides, wanting to be older seemed so clichéd, so I purposely tried to be different. But none of that changes the fact that next month I'll be 38. That number looks so, well, middle-aged.
Even memes are making me feel old today. I was reading this one on Chatiryworld and saw this question:
14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
It reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a couple of friends who are under 25. They insisted that they didn't really need cash for anything. They use debit cards, I guess. Personally, I'm against using debit cards. In my mind, they are a great deal for the merchant but not such a good deal for the paying consumer. If I'm going to pay with something other than cash, I'd rather just use a credit card. With a credit card, you not only get more protections if the card is lost or stolen, you generally get until the bill comes before you actually have to pay for whatever you've bought (longer if you are willing to pay the monthly interest charged for carrying a balance). I just don't get what the attraction of a debit card is when you could use a credit card instead, and that makes me feel like I'm part of an older generation that just doesn't "get" these things.
Also, there was something about the tone of their voice when they spoke about cash -- similar to the tone of voice used by people that age when talking about, say, cassette tapes or bus tokens. "O wise one, what is this cash thing you speak of?"
But back to the meme. I was okay with this question:
17. What is on your desktop background?
Answer: A wonderful drawing by children's writer and illustrator Wanda Gág of a snow-covered house on a street, swiped from the Minnesota Historical Society's Visual Resources Database
But then I saw this one:
18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Uh, the factory default, I guess. It has never occurred to me to try to personalize it. Probably because I don't spend that much time using it compared to my computer. For example, I don't understand the attraction of the text messaging that is ubiquitous among most people under 30. It seems like such a pain to use the number pad to type in a message when you could just phone the person up. And while I understand why you'd want to customize the sound your phone makes when it rings (to tell it apart from everyone else's phone, at the very least!), I also don't understand why people actually spend money to buy ring tones. If I want to listen to my favorite song, I'd rather listen to it on my stereo or my iPod (see! I'm no Luddite), where it actually sounds good. Besides, 99% of the time you are trying to shut the damn phone up as soon as you can, because it is inevitably causing a distraction or disruption wherever you happen to be at that moment, so you don't get to hear more than a few seconds of the music.
As long as I'm on the subject, I'll confess a few other technology-related trends I don't "get": instant messaging, MySpace, and Second Life.
Obviously, it's a generational thing, and more and more often, I'm finding myself on the "wrong" side of the proverbial gap. It's a scary thing. Thankfully, some things don't change so quickly. Here are a couple of questions from the same meme that even an old-fashioned gal like me can enjoy answering,
19. What was the last movie you watched?
Answer: Ive been on a major movie binge the last couple of weeks. Yesterday I saw Stranger than Fiction, much better than I expected, and over the weekend I saw Stomp the Yard, which I found a bit disappointing. I also saw Volver (thumbs way up) and watched Quinceañera (sweet) on video.
20. What was the last book you read?
Answer: Just finished reading Master and Commander, the first book in Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey-Maturin series. I enjoyed it, but would have like it better if it included a glossary of all the nautical terms.
Back in May, the New York Times published the results of a survey of prominent writers, critic, editors, etc., in which they were asked their opinion on the best work of American fiction of the past 25 years. The winner was Toni Morrison's Beloved. What was interesting to me, however, was the list of runners up and the twenty or so additional titles that were cited as having received multiple votes. They had one glaring thing in common: With the exception of the winner, Beloved, I haven't read a single one of them.
I've done a lot of reading in the past quarter of a century -- far above the average American, I'd suspect. I'm used to thinking of myself as fairly intellectual, but the truth is when it comes to reading, I rarely choose anything too demanding. I don't read a lot of trashy novels, but neither do I challenge myself with the highly literary titles, at least not when it is for my own leisure reading. The fact that I've read Beloved was the result of one of my occasional attempts to apply myself to something "more serious." I remember enjoying the book -- I certainly found the story moving and the writing beautiful, but I also remember feeling rather impatient with it as well. To be honest, I wasn't always sure I understood it.
When I am reading what I consider to be a really good book, I am not actually aware that I am reading. I no longer see the page in front of my eyes, nor am I conscious of the physical act of turning the pages. It's almost like watching a movie in my head. If the reading is too demanding, I can't achieve that alpha state-like experience, and I sometimes give up on it. So now you know the truth: despite my intellectual aspirations, I'm a lazy reader -- a literary lightweight.
At this point you might be wondering what books I would have put on that list. My next confession is that I don't remember most of the books I've read well enough to say. It's not that I don't remember anything I've read in the past 25 years, but the overall percentage is pretty small. I tend to devour books and quickly forget minor details like the title, the author, and the plot. It's embarrassing to admit that, but there is one benefit: When I have a hankering to read, I can almost always find something already on my bookshelf. It's almost like new!