Amy's O
This weekend, I watched Julie Davis' film, Amy's O. I wasn't expecting a feminist treatsie on the male-female power struggle in contemporary relationships, but I was pleasantly surprised at the film's execution. I was then required to write a cultural analysis of the movie for my composition class, so I will post this paper.
The "O" in Power
Americans are fueled by a desire for power, and in American society, power is mainly derived from sex, sexuality, beauty, and money. Women refuse sex to maintain the perception of power, while men seek it out to feel powerful over women. Heterosexual men have more power than heterosexual women who in turn have more power than homosexual men and women. Women undergo dangerous cosmetic surgery procedures in order to better fit America’s societal standard of beauty because they feel they will gain more respect and power in other aspects of life. The more money a person has, the more they can do and buy, and nothing emulates power like a multi-million dollar private jet. In the film Amy’s O, Amy Mandel reflects the subconscious power struggle of individuals in American society through her relationships with Matthew Starr, men in opposition of her, a catholic priest, and herself.
In American history, men have always been more powerful than women. Husbands would work and make money to provide for the family, and wives would stay home, dependent and submissive. In contemporary American society, women also leave the home to work. Women no longer have monetary dependence on men, and some women even make more than their male counterparts. This eradicates monetary power from a relationship. Amy and Matthew are both successful in the business world. Matthew implies that Amy is more successful than him by commenting on her owning a house whereas he only rents an apartment. However, both partners are monetarily successful, so money is not the prevalent power struggle in this relationship.
From Amy’s perspective, the underlying struggle is one for sexual power. She spends a significant amount of time primping in front of the mirror to make her self sexually desirable, but then denies herself sexual pleasure even after almost having an orgasm in public due to an erotic fantasy. She feels that once she has sex with Matthew, he will gain the power in the relationship. Amy even states, “The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no� (Amy’s O). Assuming self-esteem is directly linked to the perception of power, Amy is maintaining her power by denying Matthew sexual pleasure, even though she wants it herself. In American society, teenage girls are taught that denial of sexual pleasure makes men desire them more and men will lose interest as soon as girls have sex with them.
At the beginning of the movie, Amy is confident in her appearance. She doesn’t think she is fat, otherwise she wouldn’t eat marshmallow filled cakes all the time. However, after she and Matthew have oral sexual intercourse, she starts doubting her beauty and self-worth. She admits to a priest that she is scared Matthew will lose interest in her now that he has achieved his sexual conquest. She reverts to her insecurity that Matthew doesn’t want a relationship with her but only put in the effort because he wanted sex. Another time, she worries he hasn’t called her because he saw her butt. Immediately after a sexual experience with Matthew, she loses all self-confidence and reverts back to primal worries that appearance is the deciding factor of relationships.
This concern with physical appearance is prevalent in American society, where ninety-five pound women with large breasts and perfect skin are the epitome of beauty.
It is clear in Amy’s O that many men do not approve of Amy’s book. One man verbally attacks her in a lingerie store, another man tries to shoot her during a speech, and her own father claims if he wasn’t her father, he would try shoot her for telling women they don’t need men. In American society, heterosexual women only have more social power than homosexuals of both genders. Therefore, when men feel their power is threatened by a woman, they react by calling her a lesbian to reduce her status in society. Someone thinking Amy is a homosexual is an attack on her personal power, which is the most offensive insult. This is exemplified when Jerry Hegemen, a talk-show host, accuses Amy of being a lesbian. Amy quickly replies, “I don’t think I’m a lesbian because when I fantasize, I fantasize about sucking [a penis]� (Amy’s O). One can assume Amy was extremely offended by Jerry’s accusation because she broke other less important social norms (publicly speaking about sexual activities is generally not accepted in American society) in order to defend her heterosexuality.
Amy’s relationship with the priest reflects another yearning for power. She goes to confession to get reassurance and support of her book, life, and actions; the approval of another leads to self-confidence, which directly affects one’s perception of their own power. However, at the beginning of their relationship, Amy becomes aware of another power available in this relationship: sexual power. Amy has pornographic fantasies about “the thought of seducing a celibate man away from his allegiance to God� (Amy’s O). Amy is pleasured by the though of being able to draw a man away from God, mostly
because it means she has more powerful appeal than God. However, as her relationship with Matthew progresses, the dynamics of Amy’s relationship with the priest changes for the worse. Amy abandons her quest for sexual power over the priest as she now has a more direct struggle for sexual power with Matthew. More importantly, the priest’s growing jealousy towards Amy’s relationship with Matthew denies her the one thing she wanted most: reassurance. As their meetings in the church confessional progress, Amy’s brow changes from relaxed to tense, and she smiles less; both changes in expression suggest frustration and disappointment. The growing negativity becomes too much for Amy to handle when the priest states, “You have a unique talent for having bad taste in men� (Amy’s O). She tells him that their sessions have become too negative, meaning she is no longer getting the support she needs. Consequently, her self-esteem is waning, which means she feels less powerful. Americans are uncomfortable when they feel powerless, so Amy, like any typical American, did the only thing she could to salvage what little power was left for her in the relationship: she said no and ended the relationship on her terms. Since she made the aggressive action instead of being the passive recipient, she felt more empowered by the experience than the priest did.
At the end of the film Amy gives a speech. She states she’s “had a physical orgasm, but not a mental one, where you let someone inside and you really see yourself� (Amy’s O). Amy realizes sexual power does not only encompass the physical act of sex, but that one also has the power to decide whether or not to let someone else into their lives in a physical and emotional sense. Sex and love is not only about who has the power of attraction or conquest; it is also just as much about who is powerful enough to
let go of some less significant personal powers. Amy claims it takes a powerful person to admit he or she needs more in life; she says compromise is the greatest form of power one can have. Amy begins her speech by announcing she lied to those who read her book because she was young and didn’t understand love. Amy’s transition from a naive power-hungry American to one who realizes power takes many forms represents a metamorphosis many Americans have achieved but many more have not. Power and pleasure can work together; pleasure does not always have to be sacrificed for an acquisition of power, and compromise leads to the formation of a stronger person.