sorry seems to be
I've gotten depressed. I've gotten lonely.
My life is shrinking.
In high school I had about twenty good people that I connect with on a deep level for a little bit every school day. The rest of my time was spent with my family.
Freshman year I had a good group of about ten people that I could connect with for a long time every weekend. I spent the rest of the week roaming between groups of different, "lesser" friends, but good people, or spent a lot of time alone.
Sophomore year I had a good group of about five people that I could connect deeply with on weekends. I spent the rest of the week almost entirely within myself. I had very few connections outside this group. During the week, my quantity of interaction was based almost entirely on luck.
This year I have two good people that I can connect with a little bit every day, but I'm not often completely fulfilled by these relationships. Outside this, I have very few people I can really call "friends."
In these first three areas, I was able to always count my best friend in my social circle. This past year I have not. I am left a little more empty now than I always could have been then.