The 1997 Season

Note: 1997 was the first season that I wrote down thoughts the entire year. Therefore, the 1997 season summary will come in multiple additions to my blog. Today's 1997 entry will be Week 5, Philadelphia thoughts.

Week Five: Philadelphia

My idea of the pessimistic arm-chair quarterback is an individual whose ideas on running a football team are dressed up with a glib, mechanistic pseudo-psychology based on the observed orders of precedence among barnyard animals and on Pavlov’s famous conditioned reflex experiments on dogs. This person fails to note that football players are neither dogs nor livestock.

Viking offensive coordinator Brian Billick, had correctly ignored these armchair know-it-alls, as he has ignored so many others who have blindly and foolishly blathered about the meaning of his important, and unlimited, game plan.

“Billickism” had not taken hold at once. During his tenure as Viking offensive coordinator, almost everyone, from snowplow driver to housewife, has had a scheme for setting the perceived Viking offensive woes right in one easy lesson. A surprising percentage manage to get their schemes voiced through sports radio talk shows.

The “Can Billick” philosophy had managed to gradually spread early in 1997. This call to fire Billick was particularly popular amongst the bandwagon pessimists everywhere who persuade themselves that their particular game plan is the indispensable one. Therefore, under the “natural order of the NFL,” they should be top dog.

With so many different, untested game plans available, such self-delusion was easy. These people had an underlying belief as armchair quarterbacks that their game plans would be preferred to Billick’s. Any other game plan, other than their own, is silly, visionary, and contrary to the team’s strengths.

Against the Philadelphia Eagles, the effort to can Billick took three steps back. Billick came in with the recipe for a masterful game plan: Take the best wide receiver tandem in the NFL today. Add the silky smooth speed of one Robert Smith. Heat to boiling with an over-abundance of exuberant Viking fans. Flavor with Viking ingenuity. A certain NFL defense in Tempe, Arizona, now is shaking in their cleats.

While one bird defense was trying to figure out how to stop the Viking offense on the field, and another bird defense watched on national television dreading the thought of attempting to do so the next Sunday, a particular referee, specifically Back Judge #135, was doing everything in his power to win the game for Philadelphia.

This particular inDUHvidual was involved in every controversial call of the game. Finally, mid-way through the third quarter, the Thunder Zone fans had had enough. To the right of the Viking team bench, the end-zone became literally covered with cups of available every color and size, some empty, some still full. It took a crew of eight people to clear the end-zone while play continued on the other end of the field.

My guest for the game and I took it upon ourselves to berate this sorry-excuse-for-an-official until game’s end. At one point this idiot smirked and gave us a thumbs-up, only increasing the amount of “Your mother is a …” type of response coming from the stands. I could only hope that the officiating crew was severely reprimanded for what was an embarrassing show on national television.

Many thanks to Ragnar and Vikadontis Rex for appearing during that Sunday’s tailgate party. We had another good turnout.