It's a freakin' soap opera over at Winter Park these days. And it is the off-season! It's suppose to be quiet. The place is suppose to be boarded up with signs that say Headed south, back in May hanging on the front door.

We're suppose to be watching basketball (the Gophers...not the 'Wolves!) and there was also that other game called h-o-c-k-e-y or some such. Instead, we are hearing that Randy Moss is going to be traded one minute and the next we get a flat-out denial. What in the name of Valhalla is going on over there?

One would think that the idea for the Super Bowl Careerbuilder.com ad must have come after a visit to Winter Park. You know the ad, monkeys Xeroxing their butts then later, a group of monkeys set up someone for a whoopee cushion gag and laugh uncontrollably at the person after they sit on it. That's the stuff of Super Bowl ad legend. Not what should be going on at a NFL team headquarters. Certainly not at Winter Park.

So the BIG question is, why are there mixed signals regarding the question of whether the Vikings are ready to trade Moss? On Sunday, ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that Vikings owner Red McCombs has given management the green light to initiate negotiations. OK, Mort has been wrong before but somehow I think the story had legs. Remember way back in December 2001? Mort reported that McCombs was arranging to sack then-coach Dennis Green. Everyone dismissed that story as hogwash as well. But within a matter of days, McCombs was watching Green make his exit with a hefty severance package. Green decided to take the high-road and get out before he received a pink slip on his desk.

Back to Mort’s story on Moss. Monday, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reported that no such authorization to trade Moss has been given.

"I don't know why this thing keeps being brought up," V.P. of football operations Rob Brzezinski said. "It hasn't even been discussed at all."

Well, I'm no Sid Hartman (thank God!) but here's why it keeps coming up. One of those butt-Xeroxing-whoopee-cushion-tricksters within the Vikings organization wants to see Moss go. Said person is leaking spurious information to guys like Mortensen in the hopes that Moss ultimately will get his 'fro out of joint and request to be traded.

So if the Vikes aren't earnest about dealing Moss, I hope that someone like Mike Tice is in persistent contact with Moss and his agent Dante DiTrapano regarding their intentions. Otherwise, Number 84 will in due course say or do something in reaction to a report regarding a potential trade. And knowing Moss, he would do so in a way that would make it impossible for his relationship with the Vikings to continue.

As reports (and denials) disseminate regarding the question of whether the Vikings will field trade offers for receiver Randy Moss, my Raiders guy (Spike) tells me that the Raiders tried to pry Moss away from Minnesota during the season when he was limping around with a bad wheel.

Per Spike, the Raiders offered cornerback Philip Buchanon straight up for Moss. The Vikings declined. Spike was the Raiders HOF fan inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame with me in 1999. He has contact with the front office. Take it for what it's worth. Look for the Raiders to try again, especially since Buchanon has made clear his desire to get out of Oakland.

But it could be tough to trade Moss due to his current contract. Moss is listed to earn $7.25 million for 2005, $8.25 million in 2006, $9.75 million in 2007 and $11.25 million for 2008. So any team to whom the Vikings might trade him would have to be willing to take on a contract that, as a practical matter, will require a renegotiation (and likely a signing bonus of $20 million or more) by the end of the 2006 season.

Equally, any team interested in Moss will be smart enough to realize that the Vikings are getting to the point where they need to decide whether Moss merits such a huge piece of cap pie in 2006 and beyond. Clearing him off of the books would set up cap room that could be committed to other positions, specifically on the defensive side of the ball. Duh.

So, perhaps the most that the Vikes could hope for is an established starter with a cap-friendly contract and a first-round draft pick. For any team that truly wants Moss, putting together that kind of a package should be a no brainer. I can think of many teams that would be willing to structure such a deal.

In the end, the Vikes will not likely see anything vaguely close to the package of three ones, three twos, a three, and a six plus five players whom the Vikes sent to Dallas for an aging tailback with plenty of miles on his tires, plus two third-round draft picks and a ten. That resulted in three Super Bowl wins in four years for the Cowboys shortly thereafter. No, I really don’t think we can see that. Leave a comment if you disagree with me.

That is, unless some other team also has some monkeys running around the front office....

Reminder for Vikings Survivor

Reminder to vote in the Vikings Survivor series of polls that started last week.

Looks like Chris Hovan (currently leading with 68% of the vote) will be booted off the ship. If you haven't voted yet, get your vote in today!

Then come back Wednesday as I'll repost the poll with one less player and the process will start all over again! We'll be down to nine survivors and Hovan won't be among them. Who will be the second player booted?

Best Super Bowl Quote

"In this situation, other people like Brett Favre, they would have been called a warrior. For me, they said I was selfish. If I'm selfish, I'm selfish because I want to help my team win."

Terrell Owens in reference to playing despite surgery to repair a fractured right fibula and torn ligaments in the ankle.

Links and Tidbits

Ravens G.M. Ozzie Newsome says that he has had no discussions with the Vikings about a possible trade for WR Randy Moss.

Two friends of Vikings QB Daunte Culpepper were busted for marijuana possession while driving the Pro Bowler's SUV.

Kevin Higgins (who?) and Rich Olson (I said, who?) are the finalists for the quarterbacks coaching job in Minnesota.

Trade bait for Moss from the Redskins? Progress of LB LaVar Arrington in rehabbing a knee injury is going well.

I just started tracking the hits to my blog on Sunday. Imagine my surprise to see some hits from The Republic of Korea. I let my wife know that we should be on our toes because it looks like some Commies are watching us. Then I thought, perhaps it is some of our great local service men and women stationed overseas. Nothing better than being a Vikings fan and protect our country at the same time. At any rate, I'm glad to see that someone in Korea is reading this slop.

From the Sidelines

From my 7-part series on how to be married and stay alive, I bring you Male Language Patterns. Provide these to your wife so she can understand you.

"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS:
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS:
"It's dirty, difficult and thankless."

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS:
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS:
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS:
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS:
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS:
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

*"We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS:
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard, "REALLY MEANS:
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS:
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love, REALLY MEANS:
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me," REALLY MEANS:
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's really a good movie," REALLY MEANS:
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and good looking women."

"You know how bad my memory is," REALLY MEANS:
"I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop", the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

Posted by maasx003 at February 7, 2005 11:44 AM | TrackBack