Note: Thanks to Tarheel and Purple Rugger for questioning the following entry I posted earlier today. A person had sent me the snippet from the STrib chatline under the "minnesota vikings"chat from today (6/30). It made me so mad I did not bother to verify it.

After researching fully, as I should have to begin with, it is my conclusion that someone has "embellished" the original posting on from KFFL.com. I'll also update the post above to reflect this.

Thanks again all! This is what bloggin is all about. Flushing out the truth (Except for April Fools Day!). Here's the earlier entry:

Training camp has yet to open and the first gauntlet has been thrown. And from Tampa no less.

Buccaneers.com reports Tampa Bay Buccaneers LB Derrick Brooks would like to see the team's defense create more scoring opportunities this season. "In years past, we have had a lot of turnovers and defensive scores," said Brooks. "Last year that part of our game was missing. We got our hands on a lot of balls. We caused a lot of fumbles that we didn't recover. The turnovers, we didn't turn them into touchdowns. Thank God we are playing Minnesota in week one...Culpepper is always good for 2-3 fumbles against our defense. We should be able to start strong in the first game against a soft Viking team....yeah, that's right, I said soft. You can print that. I'm not too worried about any player on that team retaliating. We've been their Daddy for a long time".

Let me guess what is going through your collective heads right about now.

"What the f**k!"

"What is this as*hole smoking!?!?"

"Has the Florida heat fried Brooks noggin'?

My esteemed Mr. Brooks, scholar of epic proportions, shall we review "past history" together? We'll go all the way back to 1995, when you entered the league and immediately dropped the IQ level 50-points.

2004 Season: Gosh, we didn't play you stiffs.
2003 Season: Again, we didn't have to see the ugliest uniforms in the NFL.
2002 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 38-24
2001 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 41-14; Vikes won at the Dome 20-16
2000 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 41-13; Vikes won at the Dome 30-23
1999 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 24-17; Vikes won at the Dome 21-14
1998 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 27-24; Vikes won at the Dome 31-7
1997 Season: Vikes won at Tampa 10-6; Vikes lost at the Dome 28-14
1996 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 24-13; Vikes won at the Dome 21-10
1995 Season: Vikes lost at Tampa 20-17 in OT; Vikes won at the Dome 31-17

That gives Tampa a 8-7 advantage since you arrived Brooks. Not exactly, being "our Daddy." And your squad is a sparkling 1-6 at the Dome. Where you will be 9/11. Where you will humbled. Buried. A non-factor.

You see Mr. Brooks, here is how it will play down. At some point early in the game a play will be called specifically for you. It will start out with Matt Birk pushing you outside where Mr. James Kleinsasser will bloody the nose on your face. As Kleinsasser bowls your sorry ass over you will then be left one-on-one with 6'-4", 264 lbs. of pure muscle steaming towards you. Let's play Jeopardy! I'll take Great Moments in QB History for a $1000, Alex.

A: A linebacker is left crying for his momma on the field of the MetroDome.
Q: What is a Culpepper Cream?

Correct!

I'll take Great Comeback Lines for $1000, Alex.

It's the Daily Double.

Bet it all Alex

A: "Who's Your Daddy?"
Q: What is a Culpepper Rejoinder?

Correct!

Posted by maasx003 at June 30, 2005 10:01 AM