August 26, 2005
Cheesehead Craig Speaks
Note: Mr. Cheer or Die is on vacation through September 7. Writing today is guest author Cheesehead Craig of the Oracle of Cheese and one of the Four Hoarsemen on the podcasts.
Cheesehead Craig's Top 10 Reasons the Vikes Wonít Win the Division (Let alone the Super Bowl!)
From the home office in Green Bay, WI hereís our Top 10 list of the day:
10. The Vikings have a history of choking more than Latrell Spreewell
9. Over half of the starters on defense are learning a new system and that equates to problems on defense no matter how many stars you supposedly have.
8. Darren Sharper is secretly a Packer spy and will sabotage the defense.
7. The OL is too injury prone and is going to be a weak spot for this team. Daunte cannot throw those pretty, deep balls if he has to run for his life.
6. The stupid inflatable Viking ship will deflate at the start of a game and trap the team under it, causing a embarrassment of Whizzinator proportions from which the team will never recover.
5. God hates the Vikings.
4. There is a conspiracy in the NFL against the Vikes right? I mean the Giants intercepting the Viking headset communications in the playoffs, the refs that are ALWAYS biased against the Vikes during the games, the NFL already has a contingency plan to keep the Vikings from winning a SB.
3. Vikings trusting their running game to a guy named Ciatrik? Isnít that the drug that helps Bob Dole and his Erectile Dysfunction?
2. Mike Tice makes Jerry Glanville look like Bill Belichick.
And the number one reason the Vikes wonít win the division:
Posted by maasx003 at August 26, 2005 6:40 AM
The Packers are just a better team.
God hates the Vikings.....I always just thought that God hated Viking fans.....at least that is what my Church leaders tell me every fall when I stop going to Sunday meetings for 16 weeks. Again, Ill save my anti-Packer rants until the end of September when a 1-3 record and a terrible Brett Farve will speak for themselves.....
Good to hear from ya Craig,
Good to hear from you too Geoff. Brian brought this on himself. He said we could write about anything we wanted to. All in good fun.
Excuse me while I wipe the milk away that was just ejected from my nostrils. Packers are just a better team? You should bring your act to late night television Craig...they're always looking for good comedy writers. ;)
I am actually quite impressed with Craig. I did not know people in Wisconsin could read or write. That ruined one misconception for me. But being a Vikings and having to go through the last couple of seasons, I would agree with Craig that God Does Indeed Hate The Vikings. But this thought always comforts me at night. It could be worst, I could have a sucky team AND Live Wisconsin.
This is great! I have complete confindence the Vikes will win the North. Why? Because after his "Brewers will finish with a better record than the Twins" prediction, the Twins went on to win 9 out of 11 and get back into the WC hunt while the mighty Brewhaha's can't seem to handle that rarified air of.500 and keep stumbling backwards.
Season isn't over yet stiff...
"The Packers are just a better team."
The same Packers that have scored 3 points on their last 17 possessions? (And those 3 points came on a drive where they started on their opponents 5-yard line and went backwards.)
The same Packers that looked this evening like they would have gotten rolled by Northwestern University, never mind National Football League teams?
Yeah, we're pretty scared. Although, by all the media accounts, Favre's performance tonight was the greatest 9/21, 2 INT performance in the history of the National Football League.