Long lost twins, Jon Lovitz and Fran Foley were reunited this past week when Foley revised the summary of his early work history to amend inaccuracies. "I did nothing to misrepresent what I've done,'' he said. Foley was then whisked away by Lovitz, the original Lyin' Man of Saturday Night Live fame, and taken to a meeting of Pathological Liars Anonymous.

I was able to catch up with Lovitz at Pathological Liars Anonymous headquarters for a few words on Foley.

Hello, my name is Jon Lovitz, and I'm a member of Pathological Liars Anonymous. In fact.. I'm the president of the organization! And being a huge Minnesota Vikings fan, I came to rescue my brother Fran Foley.

Fran didn't always lie. No, when he was a kid, he told the truth. But then one day, he got caught stealing money out of our mother's purse. He lied. He told her it was homework - that our teacher told him to do it. And she got fired! Yeah, that's what happened!

After that, lying was easy for Fran and me. Fran lied about his age and joined the army. He was thirteen at the time. Yeah.. he went to Vietnam, and he was injured catching a mortar shell in his teeth. And they made him a three-star general! And then he got a job in journalism, writing for the National Enquire.. er, Geographic! Yeah.. He was making twenty thousand a ye.. month! In fact, he won the Pulitzer Prize that year! Yeah, that's the ticket.

And then our cousin died - Joe Louis - and Fran took it hard. Maybe too hard - he tried to kill himself. Yeahh.. he did kill himself! Sure! He was medically dead for a week and a half! It was an old friend that brought him out of it - Mother Teresa! Yeah, right.. And she told Fran and I about Pathological Liars Anonymous.

But we were broke, and in need of money you see....so we invented the computer and sold it to our, er, fri...neighbor Bill Gates. Yeah, that's the ticket. And Gates gave us three...thirty mill...billion dollars. Man, we were eating hambur...steak every night!

Oh, you'd be surprised how many famous people belong to Pathological Liars Anonymous. In fact.. at one of the meetings Fran met his wife - Angelina Jolie! Yes, he's a changed man now, and all because of Pathological Liars Anonymous.

Why, Fran - he even gave Einstein his start in science after meeting Al at Pathological Liars Anonymous. Yeah. Every day! Yeah.. that's the ticket! Yeah, you betcha!

So, I say to Vikings fans everywhere! Forgive my brother's little white lies! He will bring you five....ten Super Bowls! In fact, Hulk Hogan is going to be the team's new weight coach. Yeah, that's the ticket. Top that Jack! See you later!

VU Podcast Fifty-One

The most recent Viking Underground Podcast is now available. It is a very short pre-draft podcast summarizing the results of the first ever blogger mock draft.

"The Case for Moving Up" by Vikes Geek

With one week remaining before the 2006 NFL entry draft, the Minnesota Vikings face a quandary. The dilemma facing the Vikings is whether they should attempt to move up in the draft, stand pat, or do something else. And given that the dilemma is the Vikings’ most ponderous in recent draft history, it is no surprise that the solution is somewhat elusive.

Barring a complete collapse in the Vikings’ draft room, the Vikings should land a bona fide NFL-caliber starter should they elect to retain their seventeenth overall pick. But finding an NFL-caliber starter is not all that the Vikings need in this year’s draft. The team also needs to find an immediate starter at linebacker—and one who can play middle linebacker immediately—and/or a quarterback who will mature quickly in the NFL.

The Vikings purportedly are looking at several players as first-round options—presumably considering different players for different selection slot scenarios. The players most often cited as among the Vikings’ first-round targets, assuming that Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart are off the board when the Vikings select, are linebackers A.J. Hawk, Chad Greenway, and Ernie Sims, and quarterbacks Vince Young and Jay Cutler.

Based on the needs of teams ahead of the Vikings, Hawk and Young likely will be gone when the Vikings draft at seventeen, and Cutler and Greenway probably also will be gone. Of the sixteen teams selecting before Minnesota, seven have enough of a need at quarterback now or in the very near future to select a quarterback with their first-round pick and six have enough of an immediate or near-term need at linebacker to select a linebacker in the first round of this year’s draft.

Interestingly, none of the seven teams ahead of Minnesota in the draft with a pressing need for a quarterback have a pressing need at linebacker and none of the six teams ahead of Minnesota in the draft with a pressing need for a linebacker have a pressing need at quarterback. Assuming that the teams ahead of Minnesota who need a quarterback or linebacker prioritize the available talent in the same order as do the Vikings, the players that the Vikings value most highly almost certainly will be gone when the Vikings select at seventeen. That would mean that the Vikings would be left to draft the best available player rather than for need should they stand pat. And that would mean another off-season during which the Vikings failed adequately to address their most long-standing, dire need.

To move up in the draft, however, the Vikings need to find a trading partner. Several such partners appear ready to dance with the Vikings, but to have a legitimate shot at drafting one of their prime targets the Vikings probably will need to move into the top six of the draft. The two most likely trading partners in that range appear to be San Francisco, which holds the number six pick, and New York, which holds the number four pick.

San Francisco needs quality and numbers more than it needs an expensive top-of-the-order pick. With the number six pick in the draft, the 49ers could choose from among several very good players, but none alone will suffice to turn around a team so in need of an infusion of talent. A later first-round pick and one or two later-round picks would be more valuable.

The Jets are closer to the playoffs than the 49ers and could make the case that one very good player will make the difference for them in 2006. But, assuming that Leinart and Williams are not available and that the Jets are not interested in either Young or Cutler, the Jets are in a position to trade down several spots—even to the seventeenth spot—to address what has become a priority for them, defensive end. With players such as Kamerion Wimbley, Manny Lawson, and Mathias Kiwanuka likely to be on the board at seventeen, the Jets could trade with Minnesota, get the player that they most need, and pick up yet another mid-major quarterback in the second or third round to break in over the next few years.

Assuming no other changes in the top three of the draft, swapping first-round picks with the Jets likely would provide the Vikings the opportunity to select from all of their main targets. Reggie Bush, Leinart, and Young once looked to be the top three picks in the draft, but recent interlopers Hawk, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Vernon Davis, and Mario Williams have muddied the waters. The recent shuffle atop the draft board, however, only strengthens the Vikings’ probability of selecting one of their targeted players should they hold the fourth or sixth pick in the draft. The only questions remaining for the Vikings are whether their potential trading partners have the same view of the big board as suggested here and whether trading up is worth the cost. The first question will remain unanswered until draft day. The second, however, will be addressed here well before the draft.

Up Next: The Price of Exchange—The Value of a Pick and Why Standing Pat Might Make More Sense for the Vikings than Landing the Player the Team Most Needs Now.