February 28, 2008
Free Agent Alert

Per the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Rams have released veteran receiver Isaac Bruce. Any interest from the Vikes? Probably not.

Don Banks has a story that has Tavaris Jackson taking notice. Banks covered the Minnesota Vikings for the Minneapolis Star Tribune (1996-99) and the St. Paul Pioneer Press (1999-2000), so he has his connections. Banks says that the Vikes have offered a third-round selection for Sam Rosenfels, the Houston Texans backup. Ooooh, back to '92 when we had either Rich Gannon or Sean Salisbury. I'm all atwitter. He wasn't even mentioned on the NFL Networks recent coverage of the top FA QB's.

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How's about getting rid of one Pro Bowl fullback (Tony Richardson) for another? The San Diego Chargers have released Pro Bowl fullback Lorenzo Neal. Nah, let's keep browsing. I'm heading over to the bread section. You scope out the deli. We'll meet back here in 10 minutes.

Find anything? Me either. But I did hear these two ladies talking about Bears receiver Bernard Berrian. They were squeezing the tomatoes and one of them said they heard Berrian is expected to be over-paid by either the Vikings or the Titans as of midnight tonight. I guess one of these idiots is about to shell out over $12 million for this dude. Can you believe them apples?

This just in, Reds 6, Twins 1. When does football season start?

So what did you learn over in deli, anyway? Say what? They are saying besides Cincinnati S Madieu Williams, the Vikes might target Oakland QB Josh McCown, Cincinnati DE Justin Smith and Philadelphia FB Thomas Tapeh? Are they serving some bad cole slaw back there or something? Go back and ask if you heard correctly.

Excuse me, do you carry that in a sage color? You see, we might have a new QB named Sage.....excuse me? The Vikings and Texans have ended talks about Sage Rosenfels in exchange for a third-round pick? Whew! My hair color does not work with sage. Just would not have been right. What's that? J.P. who now? Come again? The Vikings are now turning their attention to J.P. Losman of the Buffalo Bill? The same J.P. Losman who was twice benched last season? For the love of, excuse me...where's the liquor section?

Can I borrow your phone for a long-distance call to Boston, please. Yes, hello Mr. Belichick? Can we talk shop? I have two gently used camcorders that would fit inside a lapel pin and all we're asking for is to talk to...

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...and we'll even throw in a nice deli tray. Otherwise, the game attendance in the Metrodome next season will be a bit like this...(key sound of crickets chirping)

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Oh gosh, thanks Mr. Belichick! Thanks! Yes, my son will be right over to sweep up your house. I've been training him since he was two.

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Yes Mr. Belichick, we did T.P. the house of Mr. Jerry Jones per your instructions. Now then, what was the number of Mr. Moss again. Hello? Hello? Operator, I think we've been disconnected.

I saw this cartoon over on the magazine aisle. Man, this Zygi guy is going to blow his stack over that cold-hearted penguin one of these days!

Yawn, time for a break. Hey! Here is another Zygi-Chilly comic! Yah! (Click on comic to create larger pop-up)

I'm going to mosey over to the dairy section. Hey, bud! What was the name of that long-toothed WR the Vikes had last year. A former Cheesehead if I recall correctly. Robert Ferguson, yeah, that's the dude. Do we still have him on the team or what? Uh-huh, I see. So let me get this straight, it appeared at one point that a deal with Ferguson would get done, eh? That ol' Fergie expressed a desire to remain in Minnesota after the season. Well, I could take him or leave him. So it looks as if a deal coudn't get done and Fergie will explore the market? What do those Frenchies say? Yeah, "c'est la vie!"

Yep, just got off the phone with my close, personal friend Mike Mayock of the NFL network. Seems Mike liked my story on the Vikes targeting Limas Sweed and opted to rank him numero uno WR draft prospect. Do I know my stuff or what?

Time for bed. I can find out where we screwed up in the morning. Or maybe I'll raise one eye-brow in mild astonishment.


Posted by briankeithmaas@msn.com at February 28, 2008 7:04 PM