the red scare
outright invasion. a new order has been established. the brown squirrel family has been chased from its nest. i saw them being evicted just this morning after church. scurrying quickly down the tree and across the street. and it was all because of a squirrel half its size. the tiny red squirrel viciously bullied the brown squirrel family out of tree town.
my first encounter with red squirrels was probably 10 years ago now. i was up at my grandparents. my grandpa spotted the red squirrel up in a tree and remarked on his dislike for the critters, 'they eat bird eggs.' he went inside and came out with a small pea shooter handgun, pointed up to the tree and fired. the little red squirrel crashed to the ground. grandpa threw it in the barrel where grandma put the dirty diapers from my younger cousins, 'let's leave grandma a suprise,' he said. grandma and grandpa like to play tricks and poke fun. just the other day my grandma was telling me how i must get all my looks and smarts from grandpa since she still has hers.
but we are talking squirrels. and i have a solution to the brown squirrel family. they simply need to go to the u of m campus and enlist the services of rocky. he has no fear, and would rid the tree of red squirrel before winter. preventing a cold war.