death from a salesman
there are a lot of sweaty people that ride buses. perhaps they get nervous when they ride the bus. or maybe they are uncomfortable around others. but this slick rick salesman character makes sweat look like part of his attire. sweating onto his blue button up shirt and growing quite the moustache he gets on the bus and sits down. you think it is just another sweater until he opened his mouth. from that moment on it would not stay shut. he rambled on and on. what made it worse was the sound of his voice, it kind of sounded like william h macy only a little more sleazeball salesman like. so while his intentions were good, the other riders sitting near him looked uneasy.
a man with a seeing eye dog got on the bus. the dog was a golden retriever. that happens to be my favorite breed of dogs, but i did not vocalize it like the salesman, "ohhhh that's a pretty dog." the man with the dog played along, "yep." salesman continued on, "is it a boy or a girl," and "what is her name," and "where did you get her from?" he kept drilling the guy about his dog just to make conversation. the forced conversation went on until the man with the seeing eye dog got off at his exit.
but this did not stop the salesman. he looked across the aisle and started talking to a woman in her early 20s wearing a pizza hut uniform, "i love dogs." she too played around, "yeah, dogs are pretty awesome." the salesman contiuned with a barrage of conversation until the pizza hut employee had reached her stop.
now the salesman turned to a larger woman dressed to impress, wearing a fur around her neck, fake pearls and long black gloves. "why are you dressed so fancy?" said the salesman. "i was gonna go buy myself a fancy dinner so i wanted to look nice, but then i realized i didn't have the money to afford a dinner at this restraunt, so now i am going to sit at home and make my own dinner and put on my pajamas." it seemed as though the salesman had met his match in rambling. he fired back, "sometimes those are the best dinners, wearing pajamas is fun." the woman exited and he shouted one last goodbye to her.
the salesman looked around and realized he was running out of people. luckily my stop was next, so i got off, went home and took some tylenol.