my apologies to bambi
driving home from yet another night of bowling. one in which i bowled a 130 and a 146. not too shabby. so i'm driving home happy. exiting onto 100S off 394E i see a deer grazing in the grassy pond the offramp circles around. i slowed down in case she was having a bad day and was gonna try and end it in the punk rock van grill. you see, the punk rock van has some experience with deer.
it all happened a while back now. i was driving home post midnight from an old friends house near hinckley. cruising down 35, still before it splits into 35E and 35W. going somewhere around the speed limit of 65, 70? i can't remember. pretty fast. i was in the left lane and a few car lengths ahead was a small silver accord in the right lane.
a family of deer decided to appear from the shadows to cross the road. the accord acted like a ramp, smashing into the mother deer and sending it flying sky high. almost like you only thinks happens in the movies. it was like the deer grew wings and took flight.
i would probably be laughing if i weren't busy slamming on my brakes. that is what instinct told me to do, so i would avoid the rest of the deer family. but in hindsight i probably should have eased on the brakes. because trying to stop a speeding punk rock van is not easy. imagine trying to hold back a rhinosaurus. the rhino fights back, kicking from side to side. and that is what the punk rock van did. it swerved to the left, so i overcompensated by turning to the right, then recompensated by turning the left again. at which point the punk rock van was moving sideways down 35. it was amazing the PRV didnt flip over. it did slow down though as tires are not meant to roll that way. the grass in the ditch also helped me slow down. because the punk rock van also managed its way off the road.
i pulled the van out of the ditch. because that is no place for a punk rock van. and parked it on the shoulder of 35. i sat there for a moment. thanking God for not rolling the credits on my life yet. all while trying to slow down my heart beat. the whole thing was quite a thrill. i made sure the fellow in the accord was fine. he was good, a little shocked but still alive. i kicked the tires on my van. making sure they still had some air. and because kicking tires on cars just seems like the proper thing to do when checking out a car. i could smell the melted rubber as i bent over to pull out some grass which was wedged between the tires and the rims. they seemed good and i cautiously made my way home.
as for the deer i saw tonight. she looked at me. perhaps saw in my eyes what i went through before in avoiding her kind. and ran off away from the road. the flashback was nice though, especially since i had just been bowling at memory lanes.