some people often confuse me for a viking
today i had the pleasure of spending some time with two members of the minnesota vikings. some things have to be kept secret for business reasons. so i can't really say which players and what it's for, but you'll see ads around town soon enough.
the first player is a very big man. very big. i told everyone that i wanted to arm wrestle him. then i told them i might have a better shot in a foot race. they all doubted me. they said i could probably only beat him in squeezing through small spaces. once he walked out, i noticed despite his large size, he had tiny muscle legs. he probably could beat me in a foot race...dang! i tried on his 4XL shirt and i told him that it fits me well since we have the same build. he was a big friendly guy, so he laughed it up.
the second player was smaller in comparison, but still big since he plays football. duh. he's a faster member of their team so i know that i would never beat him in a foot race. someone from our crew told me, hey, you beat him in the height contest. finally i could go home victorious.
they were both very nice guys, and it was a fun day. i think i'm an honorary viking now since i'm scandinavian and i won the height contest. this all plays into how i want to be buried when i die. a traditional viking burial at sea, after doctors remove all my useful organs.