once again we find our young hero, riding on bus route 16 downtown bound. in the past he has encountered plenty of interesting people. like the weakest link guy. this was a guy who would play out an episode of the weakest link, using at least 5 different voices. he would ask questions in one voice, and give the answers in another voice. every so often he would say "bank!" because he had to save all that money his multiple personalities had saved up.
but no, on this saturday evening our hero walked onto a bus with 3 young college girls and an intoxicated african american up near the front of the bus and a tough african american lady seated in the middle of the bus. i took my seat between these two groups.
now this intoxicated fellow felt it right to keep blabbering derogatory remarks towards all of the females on the bus, until eventually the tough lady in the back spoke up: "you know, you need to just shut up because no one is paying you any attention."
this intoxicated charachter dropped his jaw in aww. "i don't know how you was raised," he said, "but you are a hard woman, and i need me a nice soft woman."
they continued trading remarks, until eventually a bearded man with tight black jeans and a winter parka stepped onto the bus. this is where things got interesting. the only intoxicated member on the bus (at least to my knowledge), kept talking and going off as if he were king of the bus and could do as he pleased, giving large speeches, although not always coherent.
the bearded man spoke up: "you know, you need to do yourself and everyone on this bus a favor and just shush it for a while."
once again awestruck that someone would question his druken intelligence he shot back: "are you f@*kin talking to me?!? who the F@*k do you think you are?"
the bearded man replied, "well i know i am not a potty mouth." this bickering continued until eventually the bearded man suggested "we need to both get off at the next stop and settle this." so the bearded man pulled to cord to signal "stop requested."
and at the next stop, both of these outspoken men got off the bus, despite the protest of the busdriver who was trying to keep the peace. the bus stayed put at this stop while both these men got ready for battle. it was quite apparent that the intoxicated man was a good foot taller than the bearded man, so his reach had to be farther. he began his drunken boxing, much to the amusement of the bearded man. he laughed as he would knock his punches to the side, resulting in baseball what we would call a strike. the bearded man took one swing, only his strike was like that in bowling and it resulted with the intoxicated man on the ground.
the bearded man came back onto the bus, and was received warmly by the riders. including the tough lady: "man, good job man. he deserved that. he was talking smack the whole ride." the bus continued the route, and everyone returned to their lives.
and if our weakest link rider was on the 16 on this occasion like he had been before, he would have obviously said, "you are the weakest link. goodbye!"
