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February 28, 2006

beating a dead HOC (with a stick)

it is late. we lost in typical fashion. we held them for most of the game, but there were lapses where the other team would put a crooked number on the scoreboard in two minute spans. i need sleep.

time to hit the showers. then fall to bed.

HOCs record 0-4-0

February 20, 2006

HOC hunt

the HOCs continued building a team this week as we had 5 or 6 new faces. it was the same story though, as the HOCs got rocked. the opposition was the strongest we have seen yet. i won't go into much detail because highlights always suck when your team loses. i never watch sportscenter when the twins or twolves lose. it is only reliving bad memories.

didn't you hate it when that stupid dog in duck hunt would laugh as you missed, so then you would retaliate by pressing the gun hard up against the tv screen and smoke the remaining birds. then that stupid laughing dog would have to go fetch them all. and you would be rewarded with that appeasing nintendo beat "du na na la na na."

endagered species record: 0-3-0

February 17, 2006

there is still some fight in her

the thermostat says -13 degrees, while the wind gives it a -33 degree edge. at 15 years old the punk rock van is closing in on becoming a modern classic. it was tested tonight. the biting cold wind freezes the moisture in your eyes and makes nylon winter jackets sound and feel like crinkling paper. breathing becomes difficult and your face quickly turns rosy. as a little kid waiting at the busstop, i always remembered enjoying the cold air. it made for good pretend cigarette smoke with a stick carefully chosen from the ground. that same chilly breath quickly fogged the punk rock vans windshield as i prepared to see if she was alive. i turned off the non essentials before putting the key into place. one turn and the van gave a pathetic whimper. i gave her a moment to think and recoup before giving her another shot. a second turn of the key and the punk rock van redeemed herself from the previous failure. she roared with little hesitation. the punk rock van and i sat proudly as we both took some time to warm up. another misfire and we would have had to give roommate tom a ride using his much younger truck. the punk rock van was gonna have none of that. she has years of fight left. when the temperature breaks even at a more bearable 0 degrees, i will treat her to some more gasoline.

February 16, 2006

abandoned backpack

if my backpack were my child, i would be a horrible father. i pierce it with buttons and saftey pins. i force it to carry my books and belongings. and as soon as i get home i throw it on the floor and ignore it until the following day. then i name him backpack. simple like the punk rock van minus the fancy adjectives.

one chilly evening, backpack and i took a ride in a friend's car. i left backpack in the car as i went to sing some songs and enjoy some fellowship. backpack and i sat in seperate seats on the car ride home. in my rush to get from the car to my apartment in the quickest time to avoid the bitter chill, tragedy struck. i had forgotten backpack in the backseat. similar to kevin's mom on home alone, it eventually hit me and my heart pounded. well, perhaps that is an exaggeration, but i still alerted my friend.

this story ends well. the following night my friend escorted backpack home. backpack gave my back a warm embrace. we returned to my room, and i threw backpack on the floor. but not before leaning in close to backpack and gently saying, "that'll do backpack, that'll do."

February 14, 2006

the classics

last year i provided a valentine for those who did not get one, or for those who wanted another one. i am providing this service once again. below is a painting i made when i was a lil sophmore in college. it still works well because i still have a faux hawk. save this one, it's a classic.

February 13, 2006

surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrge & pat

you have waited all week for this moment.

the HOC game update.

once again the HOCs started out strong, scoring the first goal to take the early lead. unfortunatly the opposing team scored the next 5 goals in the first half. a lil halftime pep talk inspired a solid second half where we held them to only one more goal. the HOCs were not able to capitalize with any goals, but our pressure was a marked improvement. so don't count the HOCs out of the playoffs yet. we are like the vikings when they sucked early and then brad johnson came to save the day and they...oh bad example. they didn't make it. ummm go HOCs.

in typical HOC fashion we aquired some extra players to help us field a team tonight. the HOCs must be very approachable as this happens every week. only difference is that these free agents have decided to stick it out with the HOCs for the remainder of the season. they are some quality pickups for the HOCs. there names are pat and surge. much like the extinct pop drink, which mobs of teenagers would climb muddy mountains in the rain to claim their prized fully loaded citrus soda.

Image hosting by Photobucket
check out the dedication: www.savesurge.org

if you would also like to play with the famed HOCs soccer team, let me know. expect great things in the weeks to come.
HOCs record: 0-2-0

February 7, 2006

the jesse katsopolis rule

as if the super bowl were not enough sporting bliss, the HOCs open up their soccer season the day following. last season the HOCs just missed the playoffs and this time around there is hope that it will be the HOCs year. the road to the playoffs will be more difficult this year. the coed league filled up like a sumo at a buffett so we had to enter the open league. on to the nights game.

the other team consisted of all guys while we are about half & half. our girls are real good though, so we took an early 1-0 lead. but most of the HOCs hibernated since the fall ultimate season so stamina was lacking. the other team had an abundance of staminia, as they were built like marathon runners. they took advantage of our exhaustion and took a 3-1 lead into halftime.

in intramural indoor soccer, rule #8 is what i have entitled the jesse katsopolis (have mercy) rule. if a team takes a 7 goal lead in the 2nd half the game ends. the mercy rule. as we continued tripping over ourselves and sucking wind we gave way to a barrage of goals. the game ended with rule #8 taking effect. don't throw in the towel yet though, because our team will only improve as we build our stamina. have merrrrcy.

HOCs record: 0-1-0

February 3, 2006

so how's the weather?

so it was a little late but winter is starting to take the paper bag off its ugly face. perhaps to take a little peek at life and grab a breath of fresh air. it was a little heavy on the wind. the snow power is still lacking. very weak winter. very lame. -5 points for your tardiness. or maybe -5 points for showing up. i am betting that winter will wimp out and hide again though. winter will somberly pull the paper grocery bag over its head. the sun will melt the snow into the ground and reclaim its dominance. minnesota weather is weird. personifying minnesota winter may be a little more weird.