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June 26, 2006

wipe the drool off your face you droolface

babies drool. puppies drool. these happenings are cute. so when i drool it must be cute. good thing because i drool for many reasons. drooling means that you really like something. it should be taken as a compliment, not something to gawk at in disgust.

rejoice through drooling. my new favorite thing to eat is chicken ceaser wraps, and i salivate even while thinking about them. another staple in my drooling habits is kristen kreuk, even though she has kind of upset me in the most recent season of smallville. the dentist is where i really cant help but let it all out. the napkin bib is key for when they jab your lower jaw full of novacaine. mr thirsty and the sucky thinger help with the saliva overflow and lack of feeling.

my favorite time to drool is while i am sleeping. kind of like that movie, only more drooling and less sandra bullock. drooling means you are really tired so even your jaw decides to just pass out, and all the saliva seizes the moment to escape onto the unsuspecting pillow below. then you wake up and the side of your face looks like dried milk. but since you are still tired you don't care and you turn the pillow over to the dry side. this way both sides of the pillow are watered equally. like moving a sprinkler around a dry lawn.

it is getting late, i must go water my pillow. awww so cute.

June 23, 2006

no cigar

amanda and i spent the first week of our internship working on a storyboard for a :30 public service announcement against domestic violence. we submited 2 entries and the results are in: we did not win. we weren't even runner-up, but we are additional runner-ups. pretty decent for 2 kids who have never worked together and never created a tv storyboard. but what we do have is an environment full of people lobbing up ideas for us to spike down.

you can check out our storyboard as well as the winner's here. Our board was sliced in two so it will be awkward to read but you can piece them together. or check out this super huge copy that is easier to read.

so cheers, to almost winning!
(sort of)

June 17, 2006

a return to the glory days

this just in. the punk rock van can honk again! no longer do i have to say "honk! honk!" when i push the horn button, although i will still do so out of habbit. in my entire 4 year relationship with the PRV it has never said a thing. then out of the blue this morning the PRV gave a glorious honk. i want to honk the PRV all the time now. it reminds me of Weezy on Toy Story. the poor little penguin couldn't squeak and when he spoke he sounded like an asthmatic smoker. then one day Weezy got a new squeaker and he busted out into song. so i decided the PRV should bust into song, but no one note songs came to mind. be afraid fellow cars, because now the PRV has a bark to match its bite.

June 14, 2006

storm the field

since when did student half price night become $6 for "premium" games? the extra $3 may have prevented me from using cash but visa still got me into the game. the twins destroyed the bosox tonight and even hit another grand slam for the second game in a row. but all of that can be seen on sportscenter. i am here to provide a story that is exclusive (as far as i know) to a heart with a twist of lemon.

in the bottom innings, two brave souls left their seats in the stands and jumped onto the field. they began sprinting all across the field as 4 portly security guards closed in on them. it was a lost cause for the security guards as they ran like kids picked last in gym class.

the crowd was in an uproar. one of the runners circled around like a decapitated chicken simply trying to avoid the guards while the second runner did not let his time on the field go to waste. first he ran out to center field and high fived Torii Hunter, he followed that up by running to the infield and receiving a high 5 from Jason Bartlett and for the grand finale he made a head first slide into home plate. the crowd jumped to their feet giving this runner 2 an huge ovation. as the runner stood up and brushed off the dirt he was tackled by the bosox batboy. the 2 runners were escorted out and then wayne and garth yelled "game on!"

June 10, 2006

maximize and terrorize

saturdays are always good for cartoons. today my television is serving up a healthy portion of beast wars transformers season 1 on DVD. as a child i remembered this show as having the most amazing computer generated graphics. nowadays it may have lost some of its visual splendor, but the action is still a force to be reckoned with. robots that transform into animals and fight each other, predacons against the maximals, it is all quite wonderful. cartoons are good for the brain, it upholds the childhood imagination. also, if you hate cartoons, you go insane like the rogue cartoon villian in who framed roger rabbit? and if that happens you will share the same fate of melting in an acidic green liquid. so moral of the story is cartoons should be viewed at least once a week, preferably on a saturday.

June 5, 2006

to the batcave!

i bought some old people shirts this past weekend. the kind with buttons and collars. because today was my first day at a post-college job. we interns were given a swanky belt buckle as part of the grand introduction to campbell mithun. i must be cautious in what i disclose from now on, as apparently my blog has become newsource number one to potential interns. not to mention i am now sworn to much secrecy as i will be exposed to highly classified top secret documents. think james bond, only in jeans. we also have secret agent bathrooms fully equiped with motion sensor everything. i was escorted to my workspace, which is huge. my new cubicle is quite bare so i will have to spruce it up some. i went to target and found the first addition to my new batcave. now you know i mean serious business.

holy awesome job batman!