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August 27, 2006

death from a salesman

there are a lot of sweaty people that ride buses. perhaps they get nervous when they ride the bus. or maybe they are uncomfortable around others. but this slick rick salesman character makes sweat look like part of his attire. sweating onto his blue button up shirt and growing quite the moustache he gets on the bus and sits down. you think it is just another sweater until he opened his mouth. from that moment on it would not stay shut. he rambled on and on. what made it worse was the sound of his voice, it kind of sounded like william h macy only a little more sleazeball salesman like. so while his intentions were good, the other riders sitting near him looked uneasy.

a man with a seeing eye dog got on the bus. the dog was a golden retriever. that happens to be my favorite breed of dogs, but i did not vocalize it like the salesman, "ohhhh that's a pretty dog." the man with the dog played along, "yep." salesman continued on, "is it a boy or a girl," and "what is her name," and "where did you get her from?" he kept drilling the guy about his dog just to make conversation. the forced conversation went on until the man with the seeing eye dog got off at his exit.

but this did not stop the salesman. he looked across the aisle and started talking to a woman in her early 20s wearing a pizza hut uniform, "i love dogs." she too played around, "yeah, dogs are pretty awesome." the salesman contiuned with a barrage of conversation until the pizza hut employee had reached her stop.

now the salesman turned to a larger woman dressed to impress, wearing a fur around her neck, fake pearls and long black gloves. "why are you dressed so fancy?" said the salesman. "i was gonna go buy myself a fancy dinner so i wanted to look nice, but then i realized i didn't have the money to afford a dinner at this restraunt, so now i am going to sit at home and make my own dinner and put on my pajamas." it seemed as though the salesman had met his match in rambling. he fired back, "sometimes those are the best dinners, wearing pajamas is fun." the woman exited and he shouted one last goodbye to her.

the salesman looked around and realized he was running out of people. luckily my stop was next, so i got off, went home and took some tylenol.

August 20, 2006

the red scare

outright invasion. a new order has been established. the brown squirrel family has been chased from its nest. i saw them being evicted just this morning after church. scurrying quickly down the tree and across the street. and it was all because of a squirrel half its size. the tiny red squirrel viciously bullied the brown squirrel family out of tree town.

my first encounter with red squirrels was probably 10 years ago now. i was up at my grandparents. my grandpa spotted the red squirrel up in a tree and remarked on his dislike for the critters, 'they eat bird eggs.' he went inside and came out with a small pea shooter handgun, pointed up to the tree and fired. the little red squirrel crashed to the ground. grandpa threw it in the barrel where grandma put the dirty diapers from my younger cousins, 'let's leave grandma a suprise,' he said. grandma and grandpa like to play tricks and poke fun. just the other day my grandma was telling me how i must get all my looks and smarts from grandpa since she still has hers.

but we are talking squirrels. and i have a solution to the brown squirrel family. they simply need to go to the u of m campus and enlist the services of rocky. he has no fear, and would rid the tree of red squirrel before winter. preventing a cold war.

August 17, 2006

just for fun

go to google and image search 'faux hawk'

check the 5th image. i had 2 seperate sources tip me off to this development. how do i further climb the google charts?

August 9, 2006

level up

my internship at campbell mithun will be ending this friday. but my time there will continue. i signed all the paperwork yesterday and next monday my title will change from copywriting intern to junior copywriter. so once again i have a huge grin on my face.

it is nice how things just keep falling into place so well. kind of like tetris. but once things stop falling into place you get huge empty spaces so you can't complete the bar. then you get closer to the ceiling and it goes "baaaa" and the game is over. and tetris is one of those games you can never beat. it just keeps going on. so hopefully we will keep moving on. but i usually stumble around level 15. that was back in my hay day. level 9 could probably kill me these days.

good thing i have a job where mind tangents are encouraged.

August 4, 2006

happy go lucky 13

check the video for the mini golf tournament the other interns and i put on at work. located on the 26th floor it is the highest course in minneapolis. everyone in the agency was invited to take part in the 13 holes of mini golf mayhem. just crazy fun business as usual.


link to video

we raised over $350 for the united way. a smashing success.

August 2, 2006

full circle

as a wee lad of 5, i had aspirations of becoming a race car driver. this fact is well documented in my journal we had to keep in kindergarten. it was my first blog, only there were no computers and al gore had yet to invent the internet so i used crayons.

every morning we would have to make an entry in our journal based upon how we feel or some sort of assignment the teacher would give. the assignments were easy, kind of like what is your favorite color. i chose black, so i would draw spiders, night skies and goth kids. some of my favorite things to draw were monsters, stick people and eyeballs. my eyeball obsession even became a mother's day gift in the form of a plate. it made sense to me, eyeballs are round and plates are round.

i can remember the red racecar i drew. it wasn't a stock car, it was the kind with wings. my early art renderings resembled picasso as i put multiple perspectives into one view. the main body of the car was drawn from a birds eye view with a vibrant red. the tires however were flipped on their side so that you could see how round they were. just like eyeballs. and of course they were goth kid black. the car even had a driver fully equipped with a helmet.

i no longer want to be a race car driver. but i am working in a place where i have a sketch book. a book where i still draw monsters, stick people and gibberish. it is also a place where advance screening movie tickets are given out like fliers on college campuses. so tonight i will be seeing taladaga nights. and somehow, i feel as though it was meant to be.