a heart with a twist of lemon

last winter the punk rock van had some trouble with the cold. this winter the van whistles. i just noticed it today. as the van topped 30mph it starting whistling, a very obnoxious whistling. at first i thought it was some weird electronic music on 89.3 the current, but when i turned the radio off, the pitch kept going. it harmonizes well with the squeak the steering wheel makes when it's cold.

when i hit the freeway the pitch got higher. then it starting alternating between the two pitches. the punk rock van sounded like it had a siren. off to find some trouble. but i think the only trouble is with the van. it's old enough to get a driver's license. maybe it's on it's deathbed, or maybe it's just throwing a fit since i didn't throw him a super sweet 16 birthday party like the ones on mtv. stupid spoiled kids. making punk rock van all jealous.

Posted by david! at 10:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

for Christmas, my sister and i bought our little bro two games for the wii gaming console. he opened them and was super excited. the joke was on him though because he didn't get a wii for Christmas.

well he got his wii yesterday and it is sweet. combined with the families new 46" HDtv and bose surround sound, it's really quite the entertainment system. the whole wii remote looked ridiculous when i first saw it. it still looks ridiculous when you watch people play it. but it really is ridiculously amazing. usually it takes a while to adapt to new remotes, but the wii came so naturally. because it is kind of what you'd do with your hands even when moving around didn't affect gameplay at all.

it's a wonder why nintendo didn't develop this sooner, since they had the primitive technology available since the original NES.

Posted by david! at 10:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

my head hears lots of voices. i have to write down what those voices are saying. it's the nature of my job. there are clients that have a smart voice, which is very unlike my goof ball voice. so it's a challenge, but that's why it's fun. there are other clients where i get to write like a child. then there are clients where i write like a woman. then there are times where i need to write like an executive. then there are clients that still are developing a voice. so many voices.

but there's more than just the written voice. there is also the spoken voice. and apparently when i talk, people categorize my voice as that of a stoner. because whenever someone needs to lay down a scratch track that requires some laid back stoner, they call on me. i guess i just talk slowly. dude.

Posted by david! at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

people ask for money on the streets of downtown minneapolis. you get used to it. some people just ignore them, but i don't. i stop to listen. and sometimes i give them money. i figure i at least give them the courtesy of not pretending they just don't exist. today a man approached me, and i stopped as always, but i don't think he truly thought through what he was going to say,

"excuse me sir. i just got out of jail. could you spare $2 for a bus fare?"

he started off well. "excuse me sir," demonstrated that he was respectful and kind. it's hard to ignore kindness. but then he turned around and said he just got out of jail. not sure this was helping his cause. it sent the business suit guy next to me hurrying across the street even though the orange hand was lit up. the fresh out of jail guy, wasn't scary, and he was honest. so i thought about giving him the bus fare.

but i didn't have any. some kid on a "fundraiser" got me to buy two bags of popcorn from him for $5 the previous night. he had a church business card, so i figured he was legit. or at least putting some good planning into it. kind of like the guy i gave a couple dollars to so he could get into a shelter cause he had some credentials, a st joseph's photo id card. it was then i remembered i got more cash today to buy a lunch. so i figured, it was meant to be that he get some of those dollars.

"here you go dude, hope this helps."

Posted by david! at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

my brain works best at night. when most people would be walking zombies.

Posted by david! at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

my sister was near the top of her class in high school. she got a full ride to ithaca college in upstate for new york for being SO smart. she is a sophmore there with enough credits to be a senior. and she has a solid 4.0 GPA. yet she is the dumbest smart sister i know.

earlier this evening, my sister drove the white 4 door oldsmobile, which she calls the white dragon, to the restaurant where she works to pick up a paycheck. now my sister believes it to be too much of a hassle to lock the car doors, because it would be too much work to unlock them upon returning. plus she doesn't believe anyone would want to steal this old car. after visiting a while with her friend, who also works at the restaurant, she returns to find the white dragon missing.

she panics. and calls the police to report the white dragon stolen. meanwhile her friend calls my parents to explain the situation. my dad goes to pick up my sister and brings her home. the white dragon and everything in it, is lost. perhaps for good.

the middle of the night rolls around, and we receive a phone call from the police. they found the white dragon! only a couple blocks away from the "crime" scene, innocently parked on the street. upon hearing this, something clicks inside my sister's brain, "oh my gosh!" she says, "i forgot that i parked in the lot, went into the restaurant, went back out and moved my car to the street, then went back into the restaurant!"

yes. that's right ladies and gents. the white dragon was not stolen, my sister just forgot where she parked and reported the car stolen. the police were putting tax dollars to work hunting down where my sister parked her car. needless to say, they were not happy.

this whole thing sounds like a blonde joke.

Posted by david! at 12:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)