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July 29, 2007

faster than a doped up tour de france rider

take a good long look. because you won't see much more of my new bike since it'll be moving so fast. that's why it's called the speedster. it has a 3 killer speeds: fast, faster and fastest. i bought it off craigslist, and the new tires cost more than i paid for the bike. the brakes are a little squeaky, but i'll never be using those anyways. when you reach speeds like the speedster does, you pass right through other objects. atoms can do that when they are moving fast enough. it's called science. and science involves math, which involves numbers. try this number on for size: 45 minutes. that's how long it took the speedster to pedal from st louis park to south minneapolis, leaving both lake calhoun and lake harriet in it's melted rubber dust. here's one last look, with the lovely nacho modeling nearby. watch out dog!

July 25, 2007

back in the good old days, like 10,000 b.c.

stephen colbert referenced the movie 10,000 b.c. on his show. it looked interesting, so i checked the trailer on the apple website. looks to be the type of movie i'd enjoy. the setup goes, "It was a time when man and beast were untamed and the mighty mammoth roamed the earth." they also talk about sabertooths and prehistoric predators. i'm starting to wish time travel was invented. or someone in the future who has invented time travel would come pick me up so i could go visit prehistoric times. back when you don't need to shower, and you trade the internet for throwing rocks and sharp sticks at animals. just look how good it was for fred flinstone. dinosaurs did all the work for him and he always got to go bowling. i don't know what more one could ask for. except maybe tarpits, oh wait, they have those too? ok, nevermind then.

July 22, 2007

50 big ones

1957, what a year. today my daddy-o celebrated his big five-o. that's half of one hundred for those who don't like doing math. and for almost half of those 50 years, he's shown me how to be a good person. i've learned more from him than i could ever list. so it's for that reason, i thank him for being a wonderful father.

July 13, 2007

bus, stop!

having a bus stop right outside my house makes me a little overconfident in my ability to rush out the door. so i've missed my bus 3/5 days this week. and with gas prices flirting towards $4, i need to stop this trend. despite my frequent tardiness, there is this guy at my stop who always asks, "has the 146 gone by yet?" knowing full well that i ride his bus, so if it had gone by, i probably wouldn't be standing there.

July 9, 2007

so that's what it is

achin' for some bacon

man vs wild is one of my favorite shows. partly because the dudes name is bear. it fits him, since he's willing to do anything to survive and show others how to do the same thing. he jumps in quicksand, swims in murky canyon water and sleeps in snow caves. today i saw him drink his own urine. that's pretty hardcore.

my survival skills are heavily dependent on convenience. i can't cook well. i especially can't build a fire and cook a turtle inside it's shell like bear. so i went to the grocery store, and instead of buying bacon you cook, i bought the stuff you microwave. and it's delicious. so bear can keep his cool name. i'd take eating microwave bacon over drinking my own pee any day.

July 5, 2007

back to the internets

i had to rough it the first few days in my new place of residence. there was no internet. i got three wireless signals, all password protected. what a tease.

even though i had internet at work. it just wasn't the same. it feels good to be reunited with internet. so now i can waste time again. like by writing blog posts.