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March 21, 2009

revolving door in your face!

i work with a lot of childish people. i include myself in that description. case in point, my last two posts were about vomit and farts.

so when all these childish people go to lunch together, childish things happen, like pranks. revolving doors have a surprisingly endless supply of prankabilities. just like they have an endless supply of doors.

one of my coworkers walked into the revolving door, and i shoved the next coworker into the same revolving door section. it's very crowded sharing a revolving door and very awkward. one time i saw a homeless man almost punch a business man for getting into the same revolving door section with him.

anyways, i was so busy laughing at these two cramped in front of me as i entered the next section of the revolving door, that i didn't notice my coworker behind put his foot against the door in the opposite direction like a brake. the door stopped, and my face kept moving, right into my fist that was pushing the door. i punched myself in the eye. the pranker became the prankee. and it hurt. but it was still funny.

March 18, 2009

farts are funny

last weekend my brother starting writing a research paper. when i saw it, he only had his header done. so i decided since he had 8 pages to go, that i should help him. i knew from the header that his teacher's name is mrs wilfarht. a little editing skills on my part and it became mrs wilfart. my brother didn't think that helped, so he changed it back to mrs wilfarht. i decided to give helping another shot, so i changed the name to mrs wilfarted. again, he didn't accept my help and he changed it back. i was done helping him.

my apologies to mrs wilfarht. i was just trying to help make his research paper a little funnier. because those sorts of things get pretty boring.

March 14, 2009

nothing says i love you like vomit

every time i go to my parent's house. our dog nacho gets super excited. he follows me everywhere and always sits on my lap.

he's also getting to be a pretty old dog. and he pukes more than his younger years. so if he pukes a lot, and sits on my lap a lot, it's inevitable that lap and puke would at some point meet. and they did tonight.

man's best friend. i held his ears back, cause i'm his best friend back. i know how much puking sucks.

March 8, 2009

mo problems

this morning, i almost crashed. not the i haven't slept so i need to crash kind of crash, but a car kind of crash. it's because i got distracted by advertising.

i saw a snickers billboard from a distance but i couldn't read it. i was coming up to an intersection, turning left. i didn't see any cars coming towards me, so i continued turning left, while looking up and to the right to get a good read at the billboard. then poof! a car appeared out of nowhere and i had to slam on the brakes while swerving right. i barely missed kissing the other car's driver door with my front bumper. that billboard almost created some problems for me.

but that's what a lot of advertising is about. making problems. you can't wear a blanket and type on your laptop? you need a snuggie. research shows that you don't even know about some problems you have until advertising brings them up.

at the same time, some advertising helps solve problems. maybe you don't know what you want to eat? i'm sure advertising could give you some ideas.

good advertising solves problems. bad advertising makes problems. i try to do the solving. and it's a lot of fun.

if i would have crashed into that guy, he might of gotten out his car and yelled, "what were you thinking?!?!" i would have said "slay dragons with sir snacksalot" because that's what the billboard said. then i would have gone to the gas station and bought him a snickers bar. and hopefully advertising would solve the problem it just caused me.

UPDATE: turns out the headline on this billboard is actually from a tv spot: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/7282/

March 2, 2009

freaky

hey blog, sorry i haven't been around. things are pretty busy right now. we'll hang out soon.
yours,
david!

until then, go vote the cyclops spot for the freakiest ad of february.