he was most likely strung out on something as he sort of wobbled across the street on his bicycle. he ignored the do not walk signal, and biked right in front of a cop car, then he almost crashed into me.

the police officer rolled down his window and yelled at him, "hey there! watch where you're going!"

he kept wobbling down the sidewalk and yelled back, "i'm going to the library!"

tonight was the next round. only 16 teams remained and it was single elimination. not good for our team since we always start slow. halfway through the game we were up by 30 pins. but then things started going downhill. we ended up losing by 40 pins. perhaps the worst part of that is that i bowled my worst game of the season, 40 pins below average. the other worst part might have been some dude's plumbers crack on the other team, which was probably the cause of my poor showing.

despite the loss. team FDR did way better this year than i was expecting. it's too bad it had to end like that though. it's kind of how it always ends for the minnesota sports teams i look up to. here's to next year. and on a side note, go twins!

so when all these childish people go to lunch together, childish things happen, like pranks. revolving doors have a surprisingly endless supply of prankabilities. just like they have an endless supply of doors.

one of my coworkers walked into the revolving door, and i shoved the next coworker into the same revolving door section. it's very crowded sharing a revolving door and very awkward. one time i saw a homeless man almost punch a business man for getting into the same revolving door section with him.

anyways, i was so busy laughing at these two cramped in front of me as i entered the next section of the revolving door, that i didn't notice my coworker behind put his foot against the door in the opposite direction like a brake. the door stopped, and my face kept moving, right into my fist that was pushing the door. i punched myself in the eye. the pranker became the prankee. and it hurt. but it was still funny.

my apologies to mrs wilfarht. i was just trying to help make his research paper a little funnier. because those sorts of things get pretty boring.

i saw a snickers billboard from a distance but i couldn't read it. i was coming up to an intersection, turning left. i didn't see any cars coming towards me, so i continued turning left, while looking up and to the right to get a good read at the billboard. then poof! a car appeared out of nowhere and i had to slam on the brakes while swerving right. i barely missed kissing the other car's driver door with my front bumper. that billboard almost created some problems for me.

but that's what a lot of advertising is about. making problems. you can't wear a blanket and type on your laptop? you need a snuggie. research shows that you don't even know about some problems you have until advertising brings them up.

at the same time, some advertising helps solve problems. maybe you don't know what you want to eat? i'm sure advertising could give you some ideas.

good advertising solves problems. bad advertising makes problems. i try to do the solving. and it's a lot of fun.

if i would have crashed into that guy, he might of gotten out his car and yelled, "what were you thinking?!?!" i would have said "slay dragons with sir snacksalot" because that's what the billboard said. then i would have gone to the gas station and bought him a snickers bar. and hopefully advertising would solve the problem it just caused me.

UPDATE: turns out the headline on this billboard is actually from a tv spot: http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/7282/

until then, go vote the cyclops spot for the freakiest ad of february.

my second thought was, "oh, nevermind, that's a car alarm."

and my third and most awakening thought was, "ummm...that's my car alarm!"

i jumped into action. adrenaline kicked in. my brain started racing. keys to turn off the alarm, check. phone in case i need to call the police, check. boots, check. i didn't bring any weapons with me, except my guns, as in, my arms. so i was hoping there wouldn't be a knife fight, because i forgot mine in the kitchen.

my car is parked in a garage. the door was shut. if someone was breaking into my car, they were sneaky. i opened the garage door, and didn't hear any scurrying. so i closed it, to trap them inside, in case there was anyone to trap. then i peered through the garage window. not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

so i went back into the house, and tried to slow my heartbeat down. i couldn't fall back asleep for another 30 minutes or so. if someone was still in the garage, i figured, they earned it. go ahead and steal my car. that's what insurance is for, right?

anyways, i told roommate tom in the morning. when i woke up to my proper alarm. and he told me to wake him up next time. he'd be willing to help throw down if necessary. or at least call for help if i got stabbed in the knife fight.