Ok, so one was funny, but two must be a sign...both of these are more or less from today (I read Rhymes with Orange online, so it's about 2 weeks late):
Training is a very tricky thing. Just like kids, dogs are unique individuals with their own minds. One popular theory is that you give the command once. If the dog doesn't obey, then you work with the dog so that it understands the command you just gave--say "sit" as you are physically putting the dog into a sitting position.
Clicker training is the big thing right now. When the dog does what you want, you click and reward with a treat. Over time you stop giving the treat, and just click to indicate that's what you want. Does it work? I've never tried it myself, but there are legions of devotees to this method. Many of the training clubs in the Twin Cities endorse clicker training, and even offer classes for the humans to learn how to do it properly.