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Feels really bad, does feel like a looser too at the same time

Plans those were planned didn't go the right way, but went the other way around. Things changed after the hit even more. Once again, had to give so much trouble, feels really bad deep inside, feels like a looser,want to apologize too. But if only it could change, apology is not going to make any change because I will always remain that one looser and the looser feeling will not go away just because of apology.

Being responsible is hard. I like the fact that responsible person but its just too hard sometimes. Have to make sure to do things always right, so that one won't disappoint others. It puts you through so much stress, emotionally and mentally not so much physically. Hiding feelings, kinda expressing as anger but the truth is,can't express to anyone and the best is here to express. No matter who reads, does not matter.That heavy, heavy feeling........Trying to prove more how much of a looser you are. But the truth is, not a looser but smart, this moment though may not be correct to use the word smart.

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