Constantly keeps coming on my head, I need to do something and get over this. Life is so unpredictable, I am feeling isolated and that could be the reason for it. Could it or could it not be?
It not that, I never think/thought about it, but at least the past few days,its been often in my mind. Am I worthless?Am I worthless?Am I worthless?What am I doing?I am not sure of it anymore.Where has my life pointed to?Again,not sure anymore.
Of course, things happen for a reason and I am getting lost, confused,not sure of anything anymore.I need to step up,overcome my fears, hurdles,stand somewhere. I am getting scared, I am losing that 'me'.Sometimes I feel like I am reaching nowhere. And I do know that I need to help myself but,I've not been able to. Everything just seems to be so......What do I do?
I was sleeping nicely, all of a sudden I woke up and I found myself scared and very lonely.
I do not recall feeling like that. Of course, at times you see dream, scary dreams and you get up in the middle of night, find yourself alone and awake.
But it somehow was different last night. I was bit scared to close my eyes. After wards, millions of thought started to come to my mind. The decision, the friendship, every thing you can possibly think of. I finally fell asleep after may be about half hour 45 minutes. But, when I woke up, it felt like another dream how I had felt. But the truth was, it wasn't a dream but had really happened. I had actually felt that way.
I felt so lonely, I remembered I also missed a friend very long time. Now, the circumstances has changed, of course this is life and things keep changing. But, makes you feel sad at times. And I woke up feeling ......
Regardless, we spent a lot of time together and that was the best part. The weekend was great, we did different stuff together which was awesome.
Friday night movie and dinner and movie, Saturday hang out and then dinner, walk. After wards, Sunday farmers market, but you seriously made me worry about you, when you were not feeling well. But I am glad, I could be there for you. And of course, your sudden desire to eat momo at my place, made me feel good.
Of course then Monday came, we cooked dinner together, it was another good time together. Now we have to wait to Saturday late or Sunday early. I think this will give us time to get our stuff done. Its only Wednesday, including today almost 4 more days. Thinking about the number of days, I feel so many days left, but again when I think about seeing you, spending time together, makes me feel happy.
Vous parlez bien français.
Juste un petit peu. J'adore apprendre.
I wanted to do something on this special day. I thought about cooking something he likes. So, decided, I should cook momo, get an ice-cream cake, and stay home, eat, talk, spend time together.
Everything went as planned during the day time. Around 4ish, the weather looked bad, I was worried and at a point started to think, oh boy, this is not good. But, the thunderstorm, tornado, whatever got passed our area and by 6.30pm, it was all nice out. Around 7.15pm,he got here.
It started looking bad outside as it got late. It started raining very hard, and lasted at least over an hour. The temperature cooled down, and got nicer. Anyways, we had momo for dinner then at midnight we had the ice-cream. After wards, watched TV, talked, joked as usual, it was nice. Good time together....
After thinking zillion times I added and after thinking zillion more times, I sent a message and today I am glad I did. I can't believe its been a year now. This time of the year, it was all exciting to read and reply to those emails and messages. Thinking about it, I can smile about it coz it feels good.
Friday, after work, I decided to do some shopping for clothes and some more kitchen stuff. When I got back, it was almost 9.30pm, and I watched a bit of TV and then headed to bed.
I had to come up with something to do on Saturday, not that I don't have stuff to do but, I get lazy sometimes you know. Saturday, after shower, did laundry, ironed clothes, had my meals. In the evening, went to run/walk in treadmill. It was pretty good. After wards just went out to the Park to drop a friend, came home, ate, watched little bit TV and there it was late and went to bed.
Sunday however, talked to my sister early morning, then I got a call from him. I heard what I wasn't expecting but I decided to do stuff alone so that I wont feel lonely. I went for a run/walk, got fresh and then headed to Sams Club. Got some food came home, cooked while watching World Cup Final. At 4 listened to 'Jhigu Sa:'. After wards was the best part of the weekend. I went to see him, we went to the Park for walk, talked, joked, sat in the bench as usual, relaxing and fun. And that was the best part of my weekend. I love it, I just love it.
Thought it was a bad day, what I just heard made me really feel it was not a bad day but one of the worst days of my life. When I heard it, It hurt, and yes it hurt really bad, but I gotta stay strong and do what I gotta do.
I can't explain, how good it was, moments we spent together is precious and priceless. Hanging out with you is so amazing as I always say. Riding Go-Kart, sliding down the hill in the slide, standing in line on a hot humid afternoon, taking pictures making all sort of face, getting all sweaty, complaining about heat and everything were fun. And you were right, now when I look at those pictures, it brings smile on my face, and of course looking at you 'look so cute and sweet', sometimes feels like want to grab you out from the picture.
Hiking in that area full of devil mosquitoes, going on a boat ride, everything was good. But the only thing I missed is, there was no bench to sit like in Red Wing hehe. Regardless, eating, drinking, talking, hanging out, joking everything was nice. After wards, watching movie getting cozy with you was of course the best part, the feeling I can't explain.
Once again this is why 'togetherness' is one of the best things one could ask for...
June 30th,2010 Twins Vs Detroit
Our first time in Ball Park 'Target Field' and also was the first time watching game together in a field. Twins won the game so it was worth getting tanner in the sun.
After the game was over, we spent entire afternoon in Downtown MSP, walking, talking, eating, joking and everything else. After walking for hours, we went and sat somewhere,where we took pictures, talked etc. After wards went home, made some salads, ate, and watched a movie, and had a 'special' dessert, the kind only we can make.
So, overall mid of the week was great, after all the moving, aches and pain of going up and down in the elevator with boxes and all stuff, it was so worth taking half a day off from work to go watch the game and of course the day was beautiful. My dark skin got darker but I won't complain after all the good times.
This is one of the examples of the togetherness....