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It was good weekend, despite my cold, and your assignments and research.

I am happy when I get to spend time with you. Having you by my side helps, even you being in the study room studying helps. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the fact I can't deny.

Today while we were preparing to cook, things were running in my mind. I looked at you, and thought about it. Those thoughts were making me feel sad deep down and again those words were breaking my heart as well. I was thinking why did you say so or why do you think so? You were facing other side, which helped because you didn't see me look at you multiple times, thinking what if. With those heart breaking thoughts, I wanted to burst out in tears. But again knowing that you are right in front of me, less than 2 ft away, being able to touch you, feel you, hug you, express my feelings ,made me stop from thinking further on it.

During the day, that thought kept coming to my mind, what if, what if, what if. Once again, my heart breaks, I can't even imagine, what/how would my life be if....And I stop myself right there. Those moments, when I see you, I hide my tears behind my eyes, and you have no clue what's going on in my mind. I look at your cheerful face with precious dimples but I keep thinking about it. Then again I am able to stop myself and focus on 'you' my love and 'us' and the 'moment' we are together.

Not sure where and how it started, but this is what life is about....

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