Sadly the past few entries, have been depressing, even to write.
My head definitely feels like have a huge weight on top of my head. I can't seem to be able to get over it. I want to be nowhere, may be nowhere to be found. I want to just stay quiet, but again whether I stay quiet or not quiet, nothing seems to help me.
The fell asleep good last night but when I woke up at 2.30 or so, I started thinking again, over and over. I don't want to think but it keeps coming back. I saw bad dreams afterwards too, but that didn't bother me as much as the thought I have been having. And I debated few times before I took 169 this morning, the whole time I was on the road, I was thinking about the same thing.
Sometimes sadly, I wish I could go back to last year before..... or may be before that even. May be today, things would have been different. Different may be not the exact way, I wanted it to be, but still nothing like what I wanted or expected it to.
After talking to my friend, I felt a little better. Came home, doing laundry, may be I will feel better. Hopefully a new month tomorrow will bring some great things in life. Optimist as usual no matter what, hoping for the best.