I thought yesterday was a bright sunny day, today was even better. It was so warm, I opened the blinds in my living room, put a lawn chair, sat and enjoyed the sun while reading a book. I even fell asleep for 10-15 minutes, it was so relaxing. I wish we get more days like today.
The day was good, evening was better. Both of us being sick, made the weeks feel so long, and it felt like forever we hadn't hung out like this Friday and today. It was so relaxing, the kinda of relaxation, I can never have enough. We had good time, we are happy. At the end of the day, that's what matters the most.
It was like the Fridays we have been spending together. Dinner and after wards movie. And since we both have been sick, we haven't really spent time like that together, this felt good. I had some things I had to talk about, I did, it was a relief. I feel normal and happy again, being able to spend time with you and feel close to you.
I think I have reached to the point in my life, I feel isolated these days. I spent almost a decade hanging out with friends from different country which now seem to have negative affect. I do not however regret hanging out with those friends. On top of that, I tend to have very very minimal female friends.That adds up to negative affect thing I just mentioned above. We hung out, we celebrated different festivals, cooked, hung out and it was fun.
But, I right now, things have changed and every one but me is isolated. Its kinda like I have been boycott from the group, not because I did anything wrong, but things just have changed. I feel sad when realize what has happened. And then there is one, who does not want to.........
Why are some people so reserved? Definitely makes you think, makes you feel/realize that no matter how close you are, you are going to be still far apart because of the reserve quality.
And sometimes I think, what would I do or have done, if I didn't have my blog, there are times, I can't express the thoughts,feelings and that's when my blog helps. I don't know who reads it, but I write my mind out, because this is where I express my feelings without speaking the words but by using those very words and publish it by clicking on 'Save' button.
Thaun ya Jya Jho taskan hey nheypus chonka suru jula. Wookey yau kaaran, Jhigu Sa:jya jho nhyo, Nepali Programey, newa bhaye yau Lisa: nhyongu ney kha.
A week back, I got an email, the subject line was 'Invitation to Interview with Microsoft @....'. I was excited to see the email. I had to reply to the email after taking care of few things. I filled up the form, sent my updated resume and let them know time I am available for the interview. After everything, now I don't know how to prepare because I don't know what they are expecting. Hoping to do the interview well, then will see what happens but it definitely will be a good experience interviewing with Microsoft.
I didn't see it coming at all, but it did and this is where I am right now. I can't explain how I felt that moment, all I know is I was angry and shaking, which seldom happens to me. I started the car like wind, put the radio volume super high and drove off. Five mile drive, was like wind to me. On a road of 40m/hr, I found myself going on 60m/hr and I braked before it was too late. I couldn't stop properly on a red light but I made it. It was crazy, luckily I didn't get pulled over, that would have been worse.
I pulled into the garage, I stopped the engine, but the radio was running. I called my sis and I couldn't say much when she asked 'chu jula?'. One Friday evening which turned out to be sadly very unexpected and bad.
After hearing the voice mail, I was little upset, thinking what did I do? Well, its obvious to wonder what did I do, when you haven't done anything bad to that/those individual/s. And you haven't really done anything to harm. But everything was talked out and I felt relief that things are no more 'clear like mud'.
This morning, I reached work, the first thing I saw was,an email in my inbox which surprised me. I read it and thought for a moment and replied to it. This is life, things happen, we do what we can to overcome those, all we have to do is, to stay positive and hope for the best.
Monday October 18th, 2010
Entire week, I had something hurting, or not getting good sleep. Finally the was finally over. Friday night I had few friends over, it was fun. I felt okay Saturday all day and Sunday. Sunday evening, I went to Rainbow foods again to get some fish, that's when I felt like I was getting cold.
Over the night, I was okay and then it was Monday morning and time to go to work. As the morning progressed, I started feeling like getting cold, my eyes didn't want to stay open anymore. By10am, my eyes looked like I was sick with bad cold. My head started feeling heavy. So, I decided to come home.
After eating some food, I slept for the next 3 straight hours. I don't ever remember sleeping when I get sick but yesterday definitely was different. Around 3pm, went to Lutherside VW to have them take a look my car, as it was making after the tire rotation. The service manager drove the car, after hearing the noise, he told its due to tires being in the back for a long time.
The noise either will go away or might stay, but nothing to worry. It can't be the ' ', ugh I can't remember what he said now. But he did say, if the noise gets worse, bring it in, otherwise don't worry. I came home, ate something and lied down, watched a little tv and went to bed at 8pm.
Tuesday October 19th, 2010
Thought staying home, sleeping and resting would make me feel better today. But I was wrong, at 6.30am, when I woke up, I was feeling worse then yesterday. I had coughed during the night and I could feel the pain in my ribs, I didn't think I could go to work so wrote 'out sick' email.
This would be the first time I have ever taken sick leave two days in a row. I don't feel good still, hopefully will be able to get to work tomorrow. Left side nostril feels like little burning, eyes want sleep but can't fall asleep, feels like getting headache too. And now I am hungry and I don't know what to eat.
I somehow convinced friends we could meet Friday night at my place. They got here at 8pm, had snacks and the chit chat went till 9.30pm. I then started making chatamari and again more talking while having dinner. It felt good to have some friends over after very long time. At 11pm, they left.
Then the real weekend started, movie at midnite, getting cozy with you,sleeping in very late on Saturday, late night dinner on Sunday, a little TV and a good night sleep. Sunday morning after breakfast, as usual coupon book on a Sunday paper. I was sad that I won't get to see you this weekend at all, but I did and happy.
I am about to head out to get some Fish, sudden plan to have Momo tonight. This means we spend more time together, I am excited, woohoo.
Tiredness, body ache caused by sleep deprivation. I want to go work out, but I am feeling so tired, just want to relax, however a whole body massage would be great.
And as I was going through my entries and comments, looks like no one has read my blog for the past two weeks. I hope its not getting boring for the readers out there.
Not because there is no work for the next two days, because I get to spend time with you, which gives me certain kind of relaxation and comfort, the type of relaxation and comfort, I can never have too much.
This past Friday and Saturday, I didn't get to see you, thought the week is going to be long. I was a bit sad and a bit angry too. But, today Sunday, when the phone rang and it was you, I was happy. We had dinner together, and you know.
The best part about weekend for me, is to see you, spend time with you, talking, reading paper, watching tv, cooking, going here and there. And when I don't get to do that, weekend doesn't feel like, its worth it. You have to be me to feel it though. But, after I saw you this evening, everything disappeared and I felt happy. You are sitting 2 feet away from me, watching TV, I am enjoying looking at you and writing this entry.
Finally one whole week of wait is over, a week which felt like forever. However, the last two days of the week was pretty hectic, which is why the week felt even longer than usual.
As I thinking about something, I felt like writing about this topic. I have spent almost all my time in MN with my Sinhalese friends. I had forgotten that I am not a Sri Lankan. I had started to feel awkward, hanging out with my own people. Its a fact, I don't mind being called Sri Lankan however. I like hanging out with the SL friends. I don't totally understand their language but I understand enough and can speak to some point. And since they speak enough English so makes it easier when I don't understand. However, I don't mind them speaking in Sinhalese all the time, because I am so used to of it. But, the past few months, things have changed, at times I do miss hanging with them.
Never thought I would be writing something like this, but I am. And here is one of the lines I say, "I am as Sri Lankan as you are". No blood relatives in Sri Lanka, but I feel like I am a Sri Lankan when I hang out with them.
Monday October 4th, 2010
This is my fourth EAS conference and the first time on the first day, stayed for dinner and Casino night. I was excited to be able to hang out there. I guess apart from not being in school this year, I also drove myself, which made things much easier and flexible. I didn't have to leave or arrive when the other person wanted to, so I was happy.
I reached in Sheraton at around 8.30am on Monday, it was perfect timing after all that traffic on 394 and 100. The morning session went alright, then lunch. Oh the best part about lunch was, they had enough food for me. There I was thinking, its going to be another lunch, where I might have to eat Salad or something stupid. Dinner menu was Caesar salad, Penne Pasta with roasted Red pepper and mushroom, Fettuccine Alfredo Pasta with Chicken. The Penne Pasta was so tasty and yummy looking. I didn't bother to look at the dessert however.
I thought the lunch was good, dinner wasn't bad either. Dinner menu was Seafood pasta salad with Shrimp and crab, some green salad, creamy mushroom soup, creamy potato soup. Dessert was some chocolate things, I didn't bother to go have, but Jill offered me one and I ate a chocolate from her plate. After wards Casino night, 'Lets ..Poker' was fun too.
Tuesday October 5th, 2010
I worked till 3pm and headed to Sheraton to attend the 4pm session. I reached early so attended the 'two way' session. It was alright, then was the CBC session. After wards, Joan and myself went to the bar, talked and hung out with Cybectec EAS people. It was fun talking, drinking, hanging out. Afterward was dinner, Joan and myself stayed on the same table and talked for a bit too. The dinner for me wasn't the great but I had some green salad, with Pasta salad and had some baked/roasted type potatoes. It wasn't bad and the had the carrot cake/pie something. It was good though.
At around 7pm, we both got out from the hotel and headed home. Around 7.30pm, I reached home and I was so super tired, so ready to go to bed. I finally made it to bed around 9pm, after talking to mom dad. I think this is the best EAS Conference for me. Mainly, because I drove myself and it was flexible, I got to leave whenever I wanted, hang out with whoever I wanted to.
Sunday, the day started pretty early for both of us. Farmers market, Sams club for some grocery, having lunch, hanging out. I was worried all day thinking you won't get time to study. There I kept asking, don't you have to study, and your response was nothing. But, spending time in that couch reading paper, watching tv, eating Paratha so late. We ate so late and I specially consumed so much calorie, no exercise but eating so much so late, hehe....Overall, the weekend was so good and want to spend more times like that together. But, I want to make sure, you get enough study done.
Too much thinking was making me really upset all week. But, Thursday night I decided, that is going to change. I decided on a new day and a new month, I should do something good and productive and stay happy, occupied. I woke up with fresh mind, I felt good, I mean good after few days.
The day was okay. We had Chatamari for dinner, and some wine with it. After dinner, we talked, I am glad we talked. Then we watched one of my favorite movies 'Nights in Rodanthe'.
Saturday breakfast at noon was tasty and so the lunch. And after getting back, I went to get some grocery. I feel so relief, and relaxed but little tired after everything but I am happy. Staying positive and hoping for the best as always.