May 30, 2011

What a Memorial Day? It was raining earlier, now I can hear thunders.

And now its raining heavily, as I am typing, its raining even heavier. Alright who wants to grill outside, anyone?? anyone???? This is by far the worst Memorial weekend weather I know. Yesterday the weather was so bad in Chicago that they canceled 500 flights. it winter storm or the summer storm...

Posted by at 9:48 AM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2011

The day, Sunday of a long weekend.

I woke up, got fresh, had breakfast, sat in front of the computer, then to the gym.

Its not sunny today like yesterday, makes me wanna have momo, but you are not here here with me to do so. Otherwise, I would. Oh well, feels good to burn some calories. Thinking what should I do today.

One of my friends called, talked about shopping, hanging out etc etc. I went to JCPenney, thinking to buy some stuff, but didn't find anything interesting though. I guess good, I saved money hehe...

As I entered Target, I heard my phone ring. I spent less than 10 minutes and headed home. Talking to you, made me forget I am alone. I like hearing what you did during the day. Distance wise so far, but thanks for the technology, which has made things so much easier. Less than a week to go.

I don't seem to understand the question in Critical Reasoning part. I understand the passage but the questions are meant to confuse you. However, Data Sufficiency part confused me at first. Once I did 1 or 2, it cleared my confusion.

Posted by at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2011

I started the day early, went to farmers market.

Afterwards, to the gym, shower, lunch and out for shopping. Today, I went to Kohls in Penn Ave where I have not been before. As I pulled into the lot, I saw Herberger's. I thought may be, will drop in after Kohls. This Kohls is much bigger than those I have been before. I found a lot of stuff, but only bought a top and a pair of skinny jeans. I got a good deal,I was happy. As I got out, I saw, it seemed like, it was going to storm. I went to Herberger's for few minutes, got a top and came out.

As I put into the highway, it started raining. I was worried it might storm, then hail. The road seemed like, it was getting longer, but felt relief when I got home. I was expecting you would call me, that's one of the reason, I wanted to be home quickly. Since you didn't call, I tried three times to get through and finally you picked up. When I heard your laugh, it felt like, you were laughing at me. I don't know where I am going. At the end, I was sad, coz didn't get to talk to you.

After having some fruits, talked to Namu, then Yukti. Also talked to Sushil and Rencha,. It felt good to hear her story. I am happy for everyone.

Different chapter
As I look out my window, there are people grilling, talking, eating, drinking etc. I missed my days like that before as this is the second Memorial weekend, I am spending alone. In a way, I feel okay, at the same time, I feel sad for myself. Anyway, two more days to go, I need to study some tonight. Sometimes I fear, am I going to alone...

Phone started ringing, when I heard your voice, I was happy. One more week, feels longer than ever....

Posted by at 7:48 PM | Comments (0)

May 27, 2011

A long memorial weekend but I have no plan. In a way, its okay I guess.

Three weeks ago, I said bye to you, it was hard to see you go. Now one more week and you will be here. I am excited but until I see you, every day, hour, minute and second is going to be feel long.

Today is the first day of the long weekend, I have no plan. I wanted to sleep till little late and I did. I then had breakfast, took shower and headed out. While I was trying out clothes in Macy's, I was thinking about you. Then the same moment my phone rang, I looked at the caller ID, and I knew it was you.

I didn't want to say bye yet, but how long could I have stayed on the phone while shopping in Macy's. And I knew you were tired and wanted you to get some rest. Knowing a little bit, how you feel, makes me feel good a little.

Posted by at 7:02 PM | Comments (0)

May 25, 2011

Morning was busy and the afternoon made me miss you.

I couldn't tell what was going on, then I thought may be I am missing you. I looked at those pictures, but didn't help me. Finally I called you, was worried may be you will not pick up, but you did. Hearing your voice on the other end felt good. I had to tell you that 'cha gayau miss jula, eh juya phone yanau'.

11th day from today, you will be back, and I can't wait to see you. Hopefully I will get to see you the same evening, otherwise, I will be really sad.

Posted by at 7:48 PM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2011

The Days without you, half way through but,it seems like, its getting even harder.

Since the day, I found out you will be leaving for an entire month, I started thinking. At that time, I didn't know how hard it was going to be. The moment I gave you that last hug, said bye and dropped few drops of tears, I realized how hard its going to be. It was by far, one of the hardest things for me. After coming home, the entire weekend, I had no desire for anything until I heard your voice. No food tasted good either.

But, I got over it and I have been trying to keep myself busy by hanging out with friends. It has worked too. But, its much harder than I thought it would be. Sometimes I miss you so much, I look at the memories we made together and .....Half way through, soon I will start counting days and will get even harder. Even though, I do not want to, I will be doing so.

Today, getting to talk to you for few minutes felt good. Hopefully tomorrow I can talk to you longer. And as you said, you won't be able to write or call until Thursday. If I don't get to call you tomorrow, hopefully we can talk on Thursday. It hasn't been fun without you. But, the little surprises in mail with those messages in the Post Cards have made me feel good. Sometimes feels like you are right here yeah you are right here in my heart, but the only problem is, I can't touch you.

Before ending this entry, I want to say, I miss you a lot. I do not feel the same without you. Missing you more and more everyday.

Posted by at 8:16 PM | Comments (0)

May 22, 2011

A weekend in Rochester with friends, after a long time.

Going with friends, hanging out, eating, drinking, joking, made the weekend go fast. You were in my mind, but being with frens, made things much easier. Today, I was expecting your call, and it did. It was so nice to hear your voice, made me miss you more, but its good. Two weeks gone and two more to go, can't wait to see you. I am sure you feel the same.

Posted by at 11:25 PM | Comments (0)

May 17, 2011

It felt like a long day at work, may be because its been so many days, I talked to you.

Gayau Jya yaye masti mawogu, chha lumana, tasbir soya, tara ookeyn magaaa, gabaley chanta khanigu kha, luma:n-luma:n gabaleyn gableyn mikhaa: khobi hey wo e .

Cha naapa khha:n jaka lhaye do saan, jigu nuga: yaunsay chonigu, tara cha gana gana. Cha:n jita lumanka chongu do ju e dhakaa, bhala:saa kayaa chonaa, Chhim Yoma

I can't remember the last time we talked so freely. But, this is getting harder. I hope the 2+ weeks will pass soon.

Posted by at 9:17 PM | Comments (0)

May 15, 2011

It indeed was a good weekend dad's fren and his family.

Dinner at home on Friday, State Capitol to MOA Sea on Saturday and Como Park Conservatory to Temple on Sunday, then again snack at dinner time. Then after wards, movie and jokes.

For a moment I forgot I am alone. Although I missed you a lot.

Posted by at 11:03 PM | Comments (2)

May 12, 2011

As I get into my place, I thought may be you would call, thats when my phone rang.

When I saw 'unknown' on the Caller ID, I couldn't make it ring more than twice, I picked up right away. And I heard you on the other end, so nice to hear your voice. Mwaahh...

Today I finally opened the GMAT book and when you find out, you will be happy.

Posted by at 10:05 PM | Comments (0)

May 11, 2011

So the day went okay although didn't get a good sleep and I am tired.

The presentation went okay and that's what some of the coworkers told me. One of them told me, they found a new Technical Writer and that's me, I thought it was funny.

The day was busy at work, waited for your emails or call, nothing came. But, I wrote to you two emails thought may be you would be expecting my reply. However, sometimes day feels longer, since I do not see your text message all day. But, I think the remaining 3+ weeks will go, while I keep missing everything.

Well, I was earlier in Oracle and Dice sites. Both sites are absolutely horrible. Both sites, wouldn't exactly tell you what you missed. If you type a city name with (.) in it, it would complain. Why can't it give a user friendly error message, that would save the time and frustration. But, who is going to point this out to them.

All right, I am off to bed, too tired to type anything..

Posted by at 8:23 PM | Comments (4)

May 10, 2011

A crazy day today, whatever I am working on, I couldn't complete it.

Then at 2.04pm, I found out I need to do a presentation during the meeting tomorrow. I haven't done any prep for it.

Guess what the topic 'IVVC', the project. I wanted to present on this topic, even thought its hard, but I wanted to do because, it would help me understand myself, how much I understand or how much I can explain to a new person.

The only bad part is, at the last moment I found out. Other than the Technical Writer, other have no clue about this. All I know is, no one wants to work on it. And when people ask question, I want to be able to answer it.

Not much is coming to my head how to present. Had it been about the interest in learning new language or music, I would ACE it hehe......

Worked with my one time best friend to fix my resume, it was good. Then talked to Rencha about hows she feeling and how I am feeling.

I just went over the algorithm on my head, and I think I will do fine.

Posted by at 10:47 PM | Comments (4)

May 9, 2011

First Monday, without you here, was thinking day would feel long without your text messages.

As I logged into email, seeing your email made me smile, along with messages from my frens, felt good. I read everyone's messages and then left yours at last. I wanted to give enough time to read it. :)

Little nervous due to weight gain, but I think I will be fine.

I saw two missed calls and there were two voice messages, I thought second one has to be you. And it was you, it was nice to hear your voice darling. So, as I logged into Skype, you came online, you were waiting for me. It was nice to talk to you. Expressed to you as always how I was feeling. And started talking talking talking as I always because you make me.

There I was, wanting to know how your days have been going, what you did etc etc. I won't say never because that would be a wrong word. So, to make it clear, I should say, you seldomly tell me things. It makes me wonder why you do that, and at times I feel sad, may be you still do not want to involve me in anything. Then again I hope, but again it remains a hope and wish unfortunately. I don't know what I have to do or what will change this. Until that happens, I keep wishing, hoping for the best. Isn't that what I have been doing for almost two years now? It gets tiring sometimes.

Posted by at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)

May 8, 2011

I happen to feel sad easily and sometimes break down everytime I see dot dot....

I am happy for dot dot...but I feel really sad deep down. Without realizing, tears start to fall so easily. I don't get emotional easily but this.......The questions, answers, the discussion everything comes down to sadness.....

I have no motivation nor have a desire to do anything. As I look out from the patio door, it looks kinda sunny outside. The view I am getting is absolutely beautiful but I don't even want to step outside for a bit.

I have never pictured my life this way, and so much of so much changed in ...............

The weekend is over, here I am listening to Nima Rumba, relieving my sadness, pain, trying to cheer myself up and trying to motivate myself to do something.

I had momo for dinner, I can't believe 'momo' didn't taste good. This has never happened to me before. I am tired of this now...

Posted by at 5:02 PM | Comments (1)

May 7, 2011

Meeting a friend after 5 years was a lot of fun.

Drove to Savage, got lost finding the house in the area. But overall, it felt so good to meet up with the whole family. And their little adorable kids.

As soon as I reached and sat on the couch, Nola came to me, I picked her up and she slept on my lap right away. It was so sweet, thats when Tarikua said, you must be special, because she doesn't sleep on anyone's lap when she does not know. It was nice though.

We talked about so much stuff, life, school, work, kids, family, friends, health, weight gaiin etc etc....One good Saturday afternoon with an old friend from school whom I have not met for 5 years. Hope to see you soon and enjoy the moments.

Posted by at 4:55 PM | Comments (0)

May 6, 2011

I can't wait it to be 11.45am however, I am anxious at the same time. Thats how I was feeling before it was 11.45am.

Before 11.45am
In the next couple of hours, you will be pass the security gate and distance will grow. Sometimes it seems like its easier to leave but harder to come say bye.

I didn't feel like this when I left for home, and I knew you would be gone too when I am back. I felt miserable when I got back not having you here. But, soon it was over after weeks, counting days everyday.

It was hard to see you go from that gate but I know its for good. The way I feel is something I never thought I will but I do. And there is nothing I can do about it. I am watching my favorite NBC news and don't wanna do anything except feel sad. Hopefully the month will pass quickly, this is going to be harder than I thought it would be.

Posted by at 5:49 PM | Comments (0)

May 5, 2011

Before going to bed, I was thinking again. I saw you in my dream, we were going through some work stuff too.

As I was coming to work, suddenly, I found myself emotional with tears falling down my cheeks.


Posted by at 10:10 AM | Comments (0)

May 4, 2011

The feelings, the uncontrollable moments and again feelings attached with it.

As I was working and sitting at my desk at work, things were going in my mind. Friday is coming closer, the more I think, I feel like going breathless at times.

No matter how strong I am, I can't hide the fact that I am feeling weak this point, thinking about you being gone for a month. I know its for good but, still I can't control how I feel sometimes.

Posted by at 8:08 PM | Comments (0)

May 3, 2011

Friday is coming closer and I am slowly feeling the affect of it.

Soon you will be gone for a whole month and just to touch you, see you in person, will have to wait wait and wait.

Posted by at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

May 2, 2011

Differences between varchar and nvarchar in SQL Server

I was reading the news that is when I ran into this article. I didn't know the difference till this morning but I know now. I should know but unfortunately I didn't.

It's a string of text characters that can be as large as the page size for the database table holding the column in question. The size for a table page is 8,196 bytes, and no one row in a table can be more than 8,060 characters. This in turn limits the maximum size of a VARCHAR to 8,000 bytes.

The "N" in NVARCHAR means uNicode. Its nothing more than a VARCHAR that supports two-byte characters. The most common use for this sort of thing is to store character data that is a mixture of English and non-English symbols.

Posted by at 8:54 PM | Comments (0)

May 1, 2011

The last weekend before you headed to Europe.

On Friday, I wanted to see you even more because you had been stressed out with school, your upcoming trip, gifts and everything. Friday evening Seminar went fine. After wards, I liked hanging out in the coffee shop while playing game. Then having Stella together, eating that spicy fresh shrimp spring roll, my mouth is watering and the movie at the end.

We spent half a day together but doesn't feel enough. The graduation party in the evening was fun, however you were in my mind for the most part. Expecting you would write to me and you did. A fun evening with friends, laughing making jokes.

I couldn't wait to see you, and finally it was 3pm and you were there. We spent the rest of the day together. First shopping for the gifts and after wards relaxing on the couch, getting cozy together while watching the movie, spending the special moment together.

Dinner wasn't great but I guess was happy, you were with me, after wards that stupid funny movie. And soon the weekend was over, you were home and was I. I wish, we had more time to spend the next 4 days too. I hope to see you Wednesday and Thursday evening at least to have dinner together and hopefully get to see you Friday before you leave.

Awww another whole month, its going to be a long month, weekends will kill me, evenings will run after me and the entire day without talking to me will make the days feel longer than ever. I hope I will get to do some fun stuff, that will help me.

Posted by at 11:20 PM | Comments (0)