Tried out the new class, not that satisfactory but I burned some calories which is good. Here I am typing words, not sure what I where its going and whats going to be written. The only thing I have in mind is nothing going right.Life is going downhill, may be life is coming to an end.
When I was in the class last night, I knew my back might hurt this morning. So, at 7am, my alarm went off. I had no sense that my fingers are not my phone to snooze my phone alarm. I heard my alarm at 7.15am again and this time, I realized, my back is hurting and I do not want to get up.
So, I woke up at 7.20am, got my stuff ready for gym and went for shower. Got ready, got out at 8am from home.
I came in, I was told about the Reg run last night.Thats when I realized I might have forgot to made a modification to a build file. I just checked in, fingers crossed,I am confident,that will solve the problem.And yes, I don't want to hear anyone talk today, I am wearing the earplugs.
Sometimes feels like, life has no meaning, sometimes feels like hope is dying and sometimes speechless how its going,.....
To be continued......
It breaks my heart but not sure why it is the way it is. Today I am not able to express how I feel. I slept good, said bye to you and came to work. I wish I was able to stay in bed longer though. Feelings are never easy to express in moments like this. I don't want to talk to anyone.
My mind is in a state, I never thought, it will be.Last night made me realize a lot of something, something I thought may be not true. Now I know me, my feelings and my tears do not mean anything, sadly it simply has no meaning.
Every time, the thought comes to my mind, I find the tears falling off my cheek.
I don't easily get emotional, but in this case, I can't seem to be able to control.
First time taking a Full Body Workout after a long time. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but it sure was good. Thanks to my long time, very best friend.
The thought keeps coming, no matter what I do. I slowly find the tears falling off my cheeks. I need a new life.
The morning breakfast with you was great .
After wards, attending the wedding ceremony meeting friends was nice too. It definitely was fun. Wearing my peep toe from GUESS , oh that painful shoes.But what mattered most, was the fun we had. The photo shoots, the chit chats, the jokes, everything made it so great.
http://www.blauparts.com/vw/vw_oil_leaks/vw_passat_oil_leaks.shtml . I love my Passat no matter what.
A week back, I got a burning smell in my car, I took it to Luther side VW and got the diagnostic done for $112.20. So, now the maintenance tag I got was for $1100. I was like what??
So, since then I have been doing search, trying to talk to different people to get quotes. It hasn't helped much but I need to get the work done soon.
Valve Gasket, Cam Tensioner along with Coolant Flange
Because what I have been doing, seems like not helping me. I don't know I feel like, did I do a good thing by joining, I can't decide.
Anyways,after the Gym, I went to the Sams club and I came home. On the way back, I felt like, I can do anything in life. Suddenly felt like, things will be fine, I will find a good opportunity and everything will go just fine. I hope the way, I feel is right.
I couldn't wait for the day to be over so I could come home, work out and relax. I got back, went to gym, ran walked. It was actually a good workout.
Anyhow, after workout, the relaxing hot bath/shower felt good. The days have been hectic and stressful. I guess when you are alone, it does not help. May be I don't know what I am talking about. This is life...
I find myself, waiting for Friday and weekend these days, almost every week. I know I get to see you during these times. I keep hoping, for it to come soon. The best part about my week is Friday and getting to see you, spend time with you, as always. I can never seem to be satisfied for some reason.
Lately, there hasn't been anything exciting in life other than you and us spending time together, doing whatever we can to enjoy the moments together. There are still three more days to go and I am already counting days. May be, this is part of the 1/4 life crisis. May be, may be not, who knows...
I thought I can make it to work and I got ready and left. After the morning, meeting, I didn't feel any better. I just wanted to be in bed. It wasn't even 10am when I left work. I came home, changed and slept on the couch for hours. I got a headache from sleeping in the afternoon which I am not surprised. However, I didn't feel cold or cough, but as soon as AC started running, my nostrils started to feel like burning a little bit.
Here I am writing this entry, I want to sleep but I can't. I have so much things to do, I can't even not think about it.
To be continued....
Even though we went to bed past 3am. all the girls woke up so early. So, some of the girls left after coffee and some of us after having breakfast. It was a good time together with girls definitely. I would do it again. At around 10am, myself and Anshu left Woodbury. I dropped her and headed home.
After reaching home, we went to the Farmers Market together. I was so sleepy walking around, but I had you to lean against. The morning Fish Taco was good. And after coming home, we finally finished 'Inception' which we hadn't finished since last December. After the movie, you took a short nap while I was thinking what to eat. Then we had lunch/dinner at 5pm. As always, I looked at the clock multiple times, thinking you will leave in few. And my wish remains same as always. But, being with you, is one of the best feelings, I can never explain 'my precious'.
The weather wasn't pleasant, as it had been raining since the night before. Its good that we decided to not go to the Park. So, the party turned out pretty fun. We had lunch, we chit cat, some make-up sessions. Then dinner, after that glass of Margarita, while playing game, then dance. Then late at 1am, to the club.
Club however, reminds me of that moment, we all got scared. We reached outside the club, which is supposed to a club. It looked more like a Ghost house to us, scary looking area. We all had bad feeling, and we all turned around and headed home instead. It was so late, we decided to have some snack and talk instead. It was a fun day with girls.
I had been wanting to eat something good. Perhaps when I thought about it, it was Sushi, no oil, but yet would satisfy my mind and heart with the Sake and the spicy Wasabi. So, Friday night, after the dinner, we came home, watched 'Rendition' together. I have watched this movie before I wanted to watch together since you haven't. But, overall so good.
The morning breakfast made, which I was in rush rush was good. You are such a sweetheart my good looking, That's why I want you. the way I want you.
It was so strong, that I got scared thinking, 'Am I going to get out from this car today?' So, I took the turn on Winnetka, dropped into the library. I drove back, the smell just disappeared as if, it was never there. I decided to call the dealer and setup appointment for Friday afternoon.
I went the dealer, after the diagnostic cost found out the maintenance price tag is so $1,100. After having a hectic week, I wanted the week to end nicely. But Friday didn't start very well. So, after the appointment, I came home, did my work and everything else. I was looking forward to the evening however. All week I had been waiting.
Getting back to how I am feeling, I just want this week to be over. There is nothing I am looking forward to however, oh there is the most important one, i.e 'you'.
To be continued.............
So, I was talking one of my friend after really long time, discussing some personal stuff
he had just gone through. The same time, I was talking to another friend, so I was asked 'what have you been doing summer wise?" My answer was nothing really. I haven't started biking, nor have done anything summery. Yeah hung out with my friends
few weeks backs in Rochester does that count? May be, may be not, depends how you take it I guess.
There is a lot I want to, I can't write everything here. But, at least something I want to do is, I want to go somewhere out of here. Different city, different environment, hang out, walk, do whatever I feel like. But you need a companion for that. Unfortunately, I am alone and at times, I just ........
Few minutes ago, mom dad called to discuss something. While talking mom said as always, you need to think about this. Time is coming, need to start thinking about it. I told her, if I could do it alone, I will do right now, but I can't. Sometimes I don't know what to say or do when I get asked that question. Sometimes I feel like the piece of cheese, sandwiched between the two slices of bread.
I actually don't know what I am going to write about at this point. Once my fingers start to type on the keyboard, will find out.This is just what I have to do sometimes.
Today, is the second day of work week. The day started out fine, but when I saw some stuff in someone's workspace, that annoyed me. I don't easily get annoyed at work, that one did. I felt like, I actually was annoyed that I didn't know how I felt. And I did explain the person what the person shouldn't be doing. Done deal you would think right but that story is not over yet.
I then find out something else, that obviously again annoyed me more. And of course that another person asking me question when, where etc etc...Annoying after annoying. So, I received an IM in gmail from a friend. After few minutes, the conversation was over.
I had just come back to my office and I saw two emails, just few minutes apart. I couldn't wait to call my friend. Obviously she was annoyed, frustrated by stuff and I was too but with a totally different reason. What a day???
Here I am studying, taking a few minutes break and letting my fingers type whatever they want to. I better get back to my book, before I spend too much time here. hehe....
And at last wanted to say something, I am not sure why I am getting garbage comments these days. I am starting to need good readers and who want to read and comment on my stuff. I need feedback too....
I was planning spending the weekend together. As you were getting sicker, I didn't see that happening. Although I thought, may be we will but I wasn't sure. On Saturday, me and one of my friends met in mall, to shop for gifts. After spending almost 6 hours in the Mall walking walking walking, we decided to stop and head home.
On the way, out, I went to my friends to pick my stuff, had tea, Nimki, chit chat and headed home. On the way, I returned the pillows. Before I drove out from the lot, I made a call again. Finally, you picked up my call. Apparently, your phone never rang the previously two times.
So, thats when our real weekend started. Saturday finished and Sunday went so fast too. But, even after spending so much time together, it was still not enough. I was looking at the clock and worrying, you will leave in few but you had to. Sometimes I wish......
I need some good thoughts before my entries get boring.
And I know spending the whole day Sunday together made it feel like wait was over. Since you are sick, it seems like I am not sure if you are here or still that far away. Hopefully you will feel better soon, so we can spend some time together.
On a different note, sometimes I feel like, no matter what I do, things will never change. It scares me and I start thinking what if......
Get well soon, can't see you sick. You take my breathe away...
You were not alone for the beginning , then I was moving. But then we both were alone. But it is one of the best summer so far for me. Despite your busy-ness with school work, we did so much things together. We didn't go on a trip which we should this year hopefully.
Compared to last year, its different this year. You know why its different. Although I wish......Well, I was hoping to do more things this year, make it a better summer together. Now that I know class is running till September, I wonder sadly. Its already mid of June, two more months to go, I want to do so much together, but I am not sure if anything will happen.
For me, its going to be same old routine, work, home, gym, then home and same old same old boring stuff. But, I do hope and wish, we will make it a good summer together, doing whatever we can and make the best out of it.
I loved every bit of it. The day you left, I didn't know how the month was going to pass, It was much harder than I thought it would be. Is over now, you are here and I am happy.
While having lunch, the conversation we were having, the experience you were sharing, I enjoyed every thing about it. I feel so good, when I get to hear your stories, there is a different type of fun. I don't know what the right word to use here.
Spending the day together was good. On top of that talking, walking in Minnetonka downtown, taking 'some' pictures, holding hands, eating ice cream, people watching, making random comments, every thing made the day even better. Missing you for a whole month was one of the hardest things. This is the second time this year but this time much harder than last time.
The moment I found out, I will be coming to pick you up, I was happy, nervous, everything. I did so much things during the day. When the time was coming closer, I was getting even more nervous, I wanted to see you so much, wanted to give you a big hug and so much kisses.
So, around 6.15pm, I headed to Herbergers thinking, I will drop into that store and it will be perfect timing to pick you up. But to my surprise, found out, your flight is delayed. I waited waited again waited, finally I got your message. Oh that moment, I couldn't wait to see you. As I reached airport, traffic in those lanes, I didn't want to wait anymore not even few seconds. The very moment I saw you, I couldn't wait to hug you. It was one of the best feelings to be able to hug you after so much wait.