A Re-Education of the Organs:
A Re-Education of the Organs:
21 years go by and during the last few you’ve noticed this new weight
That punctuates your existence
Putting pressure on your sternum and crushing your tits flat
Into the slats of your rib cage.
These last few years you’ve learned to flinch at the touch of
Your own shadow and disguise your female markings with
Bars of plaid and buttons on the wrong side,
Cologne to cover the pheromones,
Letting body hair grow like moss
Each tendril exuding an aura that screams
Fuck off.
There’s a new weight now that’s buried under your stomach
Like a mold spreading roots into previously functioning organs,
It oozed into the crevices of your brain and you’re back to 3rd person narration,
Hiding in a tense that gives you space from a self you don’t remember.
Its all reruns and flashbacks now,
static on every station with neon flashing episodes egging the insides of your skull.
You get used to the smell.
Its all twisted limbs and 2am insanities, flopping fishlike on the mattress
In a lake of sweat and the excretion of very bad dreams.
Its taken time gone by for me to try and ensnare in language the
Circumstances and happenings
The “what went down� on that December night between us
Two persons, together on my twin bed lavender sheets.
Time gone by and still I struggle to articulate, define
To wrestle into intelligibility the events of one night.
Suffering does not tolerate forgetting
And the body has dark ways of making itself known.
The heart is not content to cry alone in its bucket of dark.
I’ve learned this fear that lurks behind my eyes.
It drops pebbles in the depths of my iris to transform every strong jaw into a razor blade,
Every handshake into pillaging fingers
Every kiss leaves the taste of cum
Since December
Since you.