Divorce? It may not be as bad as you think.

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I have always thought that divorce can have a very negative impact on children and cause emotional problems throughout their lives. I know people who grew up with divorced parents and were very angry and bitter about it. On the other hand, I also know people who are completely okay with having divorced parents. However, after reading the section of the textbook where it talks about the effects of divorce on children, I realized that, contrary to what I had previously thought, most children don't end up with long-term emotional damage from their parents' divorce.


Most people would think that the more the parents fought before the divorce, the more emotional problems would be present in their children. However, as stated in the textbook, less conflict leads to more emotional problems in the children than more fighting. This especially surprised me because I think it would upset children more than if the parents fought less. I think this might be because for children with parents who didn't argue very often, the divorce might be much more shocking than if the parents fought all the time. According to an article by the University of New Hampshire (found at this link: http://extension.unh.edu/family/documents/divorce.pdf), other factors such as the child's age and gender may also influence how the divorce impacts them.

Learning more about the impact divorce can have on children left me wondering whether or not other aspects of the child's life, such as the number of children in the family, can influence the emotional impact the divorce has on them.


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This is a very interesting topic because a lot of people do believe that divorce leads to a negative impact on children. Usually one would think that the more problems throughout the divorce would lead to some kind of psychological problem on the child but that does not seem to be the case. It is amazing how a child can bounce back from experiences and not develop any long lasting problems.

I also agree that it is an interesting blog and topic to discuss. People tend to believe that because of divorce children can develop psychological or emotion problems. I think it is also important to point out that this probably isn't a cause and effect situation. Although there may be some correlation between divorce and emotional/psychological problems with the children there could be other confounding factors.

The problem with divorce and the effects on children is that there are so many variables that influence the children. It depends on the relationship with each parent, why there was a divorce, age, etc. The same emotional trauma can be experienced when losing anyone close to the child.

I know the common perception of divorce is linked with negative connotation. Yes this is hard decision to make as it may cause children emotional damage, could be reason for continious depressions and so on. But there is something much worse than that and this is the situation when they are forces living in an unhealthy family atmosphere.

This is a complex question. It depends on the situation and how parents treat their children after divorce. I have many classmates who behave negatively after their parents divorced. However if their parents still keep good friendly relationship and treat their children well, maybe divorce is not a bad thing.

That also surprises me that children whose parents fought less actually suffered more in the long-term. Your idea for a possible explanation makes sense though. For instance when a close friend betrays us, it's more hurtful than when someone we don't know very well betrays us just because we trust them and don't expect them to treat us poorly. When children already see their parents fighting, they are probably able to mentally prepare themselves a little bit in advance because they may suspect that a divorce is coming. It also might be nice for them to not have to be around fighting once their parents divorce even if they wish it hadn't happened.

While the findings in the textbook are very interesting and have some truth to them, I believe that the impact a divorce has on a child completely depends on the child and their specific situation. My parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten, and my sister and I turned out fine. I think it has a lot to do with how the parents handle the situation after the divorce, and the kind of relationship they keep with their children and each other.

I think that divorce is an extremely sensitive subject and it is hard to generalize about the children of divorced parents. I agree that the age when the parents' divorced and the child's personality probably have huge effects on the child's long-term emotional problems. I didn't find it extremely shocking to read that children whose parents fought less before a divorce had more emotional problems. When parents openly fight, I think it is probably easier for the child to realize that the relationship is unhealthy. If a child thinks that her parents have a healthy relationship and suddenly divorce, they are probably more likely to have relationship problems.

Interesting point regarding fighting and I like your explanation which I think is very plausible. My parents are together so I do not have personal experience on the matter but I could see how it could have very negative impacts on children. I also find it interesting that in the western world, divorce is so much more prevalent than in places which still practice arranged marriages.

Your blog really hits home for me. I have a brother and sister and my parents got divorced when I was in 7th grade. My parents never had conflict, not in front of us at least. When they told us about their divorce, my brother, sister, and I all handled it differently. I think there are a lot of factors to emotions or long term effect in divorce -some occurring right at the time of divorce or later on in life. However, I feel, from experience in my family and my other friends, that it does have some effect still later on in life.

This is a very interesting way to look upon divorce. I had never really thought about fighting parents vs. non-fighting parents and the results. I just assumed that divorce in general had a negative connotation. However, the point you raise does make sense and now that I reflect on friends whose parents did and did not fight, they both did turn out differently.

The fact that less conflict leads to more emotional problems in the children made me feel astonished, but I think your explanation is pretty plausible. In addition, a few friends of mine were raised by single moms/dads; they are willing to share their experience during the period that their parents got conflict to each other and then decided to divorce. Actually neither of them said they got depressed, and even some of them support the divorce decision to a large extent.

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