Looking Forward: The Principles of Attraction

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As the semester comes to a close one lesson I can't seem to forget was our discussion of the principles of attraction, Similarity, Proximity, and Reciprocity. The debate surrounding how those principles affect our relationship choices is one I will ponder long and hard in the future. Why you ask? Because like most humans my relationships, romantic or otherwise, are the most central things in my life, and will continue to be of great if not greater importance in my future.
Though I fully expect my opinions on which principles have the greatest effect to change in the future, I shall outline how I feel now at the moment. In class we learned that similarity in terms of education level, values, interests etc. plays a very large role in who we like. I agree with this, especially on the values level, but also have had experience with the opposites attract theory, and do not think similar interests are essential. Reciprocity struck me as obvious, why waste your time with someone that does not return your interest? But what I found most interesting was the principle of proximity. Never before had I considered how my romantic relationships and major friendships had come from those seated near me in class or simply involved in multiple activities with me etc. As I move forward from this class and college itself I hope to test my current opinions and weigh them against my experiences to see how great of an effect these principles actually have. Five years from now I expect to be surprised at how they have effected my most lasting relationships.


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I agree with you, the principles of attraction are a fascinating topic, mainly because it's really neat to see how they influence relationships in my own life. This topic will definitely stay with me for the next 5 years.

I agree with you that proximity is an interesting factor of attraction. I had never stopped to think about the role of proximity in relationships but now that I think about the number of couples that meet at college or work, it makes sense that we are attracted to people that are near to us.

I also found it rather surprising how I can go through most of, if not all of, my friends and find that they live in close proximity to me or were involved in the same activities as I was in. Even now looking at my best friends in college many of them live in the same dorm as me, if not the same hall as me. Something to think about is whether or not proximity will become less and less important as technology increases due to the fact that it can connect people over long distances.

Interesting to think about how the importance of each characteristic might change over time... I think proximity is really essential in childhood and likely becomes less so with age (although still important). Certainly dating websites have also not used proximity as a key component.

I completely agree with your comment on proximity. I find it amusing how in high school, a lot of inter-group dating would happen. In each group of friends, there always seemed to be at least one couple that would date and then move on to a different person in that group, inevitably causing "high school drama." I'm glad we've moved on! As we continue in college I find this effect to be less visible however, it may be caused by the larger amount of students and greater variability in group relations.

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This page contains a single entry by reppx011 published on April 29, 2012 11:58 PM.

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