The study of human psychology has greatly impacted my life at times. One particular instance involved one of my uncles at a family gathering. I think most people can relate to having an uncle or two in their family that designate themselves as the "funny uncle", and usually you'll find them tickling and joking their way through the house on holidays. But making jokes at the expense of others sometimes runs the risk of offending. One particular time that my knowledge of psychology helped me was a time that my uncle was poking fun at my then-new diet (of only plants). He was giving me trouble about it around the family dinner table. Eventually he asked me why I didn't feel bad for murdering all those plants. When I started to explain that trees don't suffer the same way that dogs, pigs, cats, cows, and chickens do, and that eating them actually kills more plants than just eating plants because of how much we have to feed them, he instantly interrupted me. He enjoyed mocking me, but never opened himself for an actual answer. Earlier in my life, I might have been very angry with him. But after what I've learned about human psychology, I took a more complete look at him, his history and his current situation, and I remembered that he was in the middle of a terrible, ugly divorce likely to be very depressed. I decided to not make a scene, as I have flaws of my own and would appreciate being treated kindly if I was in a similar situation, and over time I've come to realize that this was a much better decision for me in the long run. The nicer I am to my family, the more they like having me around and cooking food for me. Remembering that everyone has a complex psychological story helps me pick the right battles and avoid the wrong ones. Things can escalate quickly, and may lead to unwanted and unhelpful fights.
Pick Your Battles
No TrackBacks
TrackBack URL: http://blog.lib.umn.edu/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/187874
You bring up an interesting topic that I think almost all of us can relate to. While certain things may seem funny at the time, you never know how your impacting the people that you are saying them too. Also, when it comes down to it, like you mentioned, the things that your poking fun at or trying to mock someone for, could really be the result of your self esteem and the problems that you are facing in your own life. Overall, good post and something interesting to talk about which I hadn't thought of but will now think of when I experience these situations myself.
This is something that is important for everyone to learn from; it can be easy to be insulted from someones comments, but it is important to take a step back and look at where they are coming from. Although it doesn't make their behavior appropriate, it can go a long way in repairing or maintaining a healthy relationship.
I like how this incorporated a personal anecdote of your life as well as important lessons we learned from this class. That was very mature of you to keep more to yourself instead of arguing back. I know that I myself am a very sarcastic and sometimes manacle person, but I would say sometimes that is just personality versus what is going on in my life making me this way. However, personalities can change with depression and other stressful factors as life goes on. Overall, interesting blog.
What specific concepts from class do you feel that this situation connected to?
I felt like this situation was less connected to any one specific concept, and more just resulting from learning about lots of specific concepts that together created in my mind a way to remember that the behavior of my uncle is motivated and shaped by a complex cocktail of history and events that have happened to him in the past.
Very interesting story and photo! I think you made the right choice in avoiding a scene with your uncle. I think we can all relate to something similar in our own lives. I'm glad that you were able to learn from this experience.
Interesting story! I have had similar experiences with those "funny uncles" so i can definitely relate to your story. Also, it is more often than not the best choice to not escalate a situation when it is not necessary. In this instance it was definitely the right choice to remain calm at a family gathering. Good thing we have learned from psychology 1001.