Poetry Slamming

At present I'm on the long bus ride to Chicago, probably somewhere in the midst of Wisconsin, zooming on towards morning. Sadly, this is probably the best night's sleep I will get for the rest of the week. But thanks to the magic of delayed posting, I can continue to entertain you all.

A long standing pre-ScavHunt tradition is to completely clog up official lines of communication by inundating the mailing list used by Judges and team captains with trash talk.

This year the FIST's enthusiastic trash talker SPH started mixing things up a bit by posting a limerick, and thus Tuesday's theme was established. Many limericks followed, of generally high creativity, extremely low taste, and variable adherence to the usual forms. My favorite post, a honest-to-goodness trash talk villanelle, comes from McFall, also of the FIST. Thankfully, unlike much of the poetry posted so far, it in insufficiently vulgar to prevent me from sharing it here.

By way of background, FIST, GASH, Snitchcock, and Palevskites all refer to teams (my own, the Graduate/Alumni ScavHunt team, and the dorm teams of Snell-Hitchcock and Max Palevsky halls).

Run, hide, and pray! The FIST comes fiercely smashing:
Preceded by its awesome furry guts,
Heroic clerics strike, shuriken flashing.

Inferior teams bewail the coming thrashing,
And wish their mothers weren't all such huge sluts.
Run, hide, and pray! The FIST comes fiercely smashing.

Defying monied whores and faithless GASHing,
Eschewing Snitchcock's blind and cliquish ruts,
Heroic clerics strike, shuriken flashing.

Palevskites, helpless first-years cruelly lashing
With studded whips that leave red oozing cuts:
Run, hide, and pray! The FIST comes fiercely smashing.

Explosions bloom like helicopters crashing
As the valiant FIST in wreaths of glory struts;
Heroic clerics strike, shuriken flashing.

Behold the way its sleepless eyes are flashing,
See with what strength its fearsome forebrain juts:
Run, hide, and pray! the FIST comes fiercely smashing;
Heroic clerics strike, shuriken flashing.

Not from a FIST author, but still pretty cool, is JPL's "Scav Sonnet 1, or Ode to Max Big Projects". Named are a few more teams (Big Projects being the Max team's, er, engineering division) and a couple of supposedly notorious judges:

There once were some scavvies, Big Projects no less
Who had a slight problem, I will now confess
Since the were Max, they had gumption and skill
But lacked only tools, no hammer, no drill.

But casting about they found some quite soon
Two feigning judgeship, but really buffoons
Jfunk Williams and his partner Will Dietz
Who cared not for scav but only mad beats

And looking but further, they saw a tooly MacPiercer
Whose zeal for good rhymes was a tiny bit fiercer**
And finally they found, the crown of their set
The grad student FISTy, the tooliest yet

Thus well equipped, their toolbox o’erflowing
They picked up their list and swiftly got going
With no strandbeest to make, they easily triumphed
Hmm. Nothing really rhymes with triumphed

**One last thing, afore I forget.
I didn’t steal your rhyme, I scavenged it.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Milligan published on May 6, 2008 11:35 PM.

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