Trivial Pursuits
The scariest thing that happens to me during a typical day is
that half second where the Ruffles bag teeters on the edge and looks like
it might get caught by the metal and not fall into the bin. Then
it does fall, and my world comes together. Its kind of emasculating
though, like they talk about in Fight Club, how modern technology
and mass production and white-collar jobs have de-mannized us. We don't
have to hunt or fight for anything anymore. But, I suppose its better
than dying at age 25 at the hands (paws?) of a hyena. Plus, they
didn't even have fireplaces back then. They actually had to watch
their fire the whole time! What a waste of time. How could you
get your Simpson's fix if you're constantly worrying about keeping
the fire going and protecting your berries from bears and keeping
your loincloth free of biting insects? Now that I think about it,
being a caveman pretty much sucked, and modern technology kicks ass.
If the worst part is that my male aggression needs to be bottled
up a little bit, then I can take that. I'll just let it out
next time I go bowling and it becomes competitive. Isn't that
why sports were invented? I'm going to let my nails grow about an
inch and sharpen them, and when an opponent gets a strike I'll run
up to him and give him a good slash across the face
like Wolverine from the X-men, letting out a scream like its a Klingon
death ceremony. Wow, an X-men reference and Star Trek reference in the
same sentence. I have reached new heights of nerdliness.
Posted by mill1991 at May 28, 2004 06:30 AM