I think if the Timberwolves moved their home court to the hoop
in my driveway I could play for them. I can't miss out there! I'm
not saying I could take Garnett's place, but I
would be at least as good as Fred Hoiberg (yes there is really a player
in the NBA named Fred Hoiberg). Granted, the seating capacity of
my backyard is vastly exceeded by that of the Target Center. But I
think the thousand or so that could fit would really make some noise.
You should hear how loud everything outside is in my bedroom at 2 AM
the night before important exams. Plus, the hoop is a little slanted
to one side, and it should be harder for the NBA players to hit from
the opposite side, but I'm telling you, I hit everything from that side!
Also, the whole left side of the backboard is pretty much a giant hole.
I have the experience to not shoot from that side. Does Fred Hoiberg
have that experience? No. Finally, from the recent storms, there
are branches and leaves strewn about the driveway that make a basketball
bounce about as reliably as a football usually does. This levels the
playing field! I can't dribble, but now neither can they! Speaking
of basketball, if Jesus played basketball, would he bother advancing the
ball upcourt and setting up the offense, or would he just shoot as
soon as he got his hands on the ball? I say "Just shoot, Jesus."
Posted by mill1991 at May 18, 2004 1:37 PM