I thought of a better idea for the crazy religious fanatics on our
campus. First, when I'm walking by minding my own business and they call to me,
I'll pretend like I'm surprised and flattered that a stranger wants
to talk to me. "Who, me? Sure, I've got time to talk."
Then, when they ask me if I've heard the "good news,"
I'll ask, "You mean about a
UMD alumni winning the Pulitzer Prize?"
Then they'll say, "No, the
good news about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." And I'll reply, "No,
doesn't really ring a bell. I'm a first year grad student, though, so
I'm always a little bit behind on the news."
"Well, God sent his son,
who was actually himself, to die on earth for us."
"Wow! That sucks! So your god is dead?"
"No! It's great! Now, we can do whatever we want, and
as long as we apologize for it sometime before death, we're not responsible."
Anyways, I could probably drag
this out for a while, but the idea is that I'd gradually let them think
that they were converting me. Because this is like their wet dream, right -
finding someone who isn't going to heaven and getting him in! Then
if I could help by donating money. When
they tell me yes, I will reach into my backpack and unfold a giant
cardboard novelty check written for $10,000 (Granted, its heavier than
carrying around a few tracts, but its a worthwhile cause).
Posted by mill1991 at April 22, 2004 8:49 AM