Bird dies
In my_hatred_of_birds news, we have a vulture that
died by diving into a van while stupidly trying to protect its nest. Further
proof that birds are stupid and useless. I could start a whole website based
on my dislike of birds. Some of you bird-likers and bird-lovers (if thats possible) might be thinking, "He only dislikes birds because he's afraid of them." Well,
you're goddam right. I'm scared to death of birds. The bird in this article is
so stupid it DIED by trying to attack a moving VAN. Think about what something that irrational could do to a human. Bikers in a race were also attacked, but luckily they were wearing helmets. If you're not afraid of birds, you're not paying attention. Incidentally, this happens near my parents house, which is close to a bunch of farms and general countryside. While running or biking on back roads, birds will follow you because you are near their nest. But, they will follow you for like a mile! How far away from a nest does one have to run before he or she is no longer a threat? Believe me, birds, if I was trying to get to your nest, I'd be eating omelets by now. Did you know that these same stupid birds, which will attack any moving object within a mile of their nest, cannot tell if another bird puts its eggs in the nest? The
cuckoo
does just that to other birds, and the other birds raise the baby cuckoo for it! Not only that, but when the cuckoo chick hatches, it pushes the other eggs out of the nest to have more resources to itself. Okay, so maybe the cuckoo bird is smart enough to justify not killing, but to hell with the rest of them.
Posted by mill1991 at June 18, 2004 01:27 PM
Tim, I'm glad that you are still out there fighting the good fight against birds. Unfortunately, I continue to let birds get the best of me. When I recently moved, I was assigned a parking spot next to a nesting duck. I didn't waste any time asking to have a new spot assigned to me. It's not that ducks are the most horrible birds that exists but I couldn't trust it for two reasons. First, it was still a bird that can sense my fear and has ways of exploiting it. Second, it wasn't wearing a jacket and a sailor hat indicating that there was no way I could calmly rationalize with this duck if it started to lose its temper with me.
Keep up the good work Tim.