June 22, 2004

Golfing

When I play golf, I swing the club pretty damn hard. If I ever play with an older person, there is a virtual guarantee that at some time during the round, I will hear the expression, "Woah! Almost came out of your shoes on that one, young feller!" Okay, they don't always say young feller, but its at least implied. The funny part is, its always someone who has lost the capability to swing hard, and I think they are just jealous. Like, its an 80 year old man who needs to liberally apply Ben-Gay to his bony thighs in between every shot just to finish 9 holes. Or, its a fat guy who has to swing while he's moving because he has too much momentum going to bother taking a stance. The energy required for him to stop and start up again could only be generated by a campus full of squirrels on oversized hamster wheels hooked up to a generator.

I went golfing with Hines yesterday, and we were paired with two other young fellers. One of the guys, I swear, had never played before. Not only did he blow, but he did it really slowly. He walked like he was magnetically repelled from the green. I think he read the article in Golf Digest about taking your time and relaxing and he forgot to read the part about actually practicing occasionally and not swinging like a jackass. Also, there was one hole where both of these guys were talking on their cell phone at the same time, while I was hitting! And then they had the nerve to ask me to put my shirt back on! How am I supposed to get a tan with a shirt on? Damn. Posted by mill1991 at June 22, 2004 6:17 AM

Comments

maybe he asked you to put your shirt back on because your rippling muscles distracted his driving ability. or possibly because the glare off your white skin was distracting him, who knows.

Posted by: Lauren at June 22, 2004 7:53 PM